


May Parker's complete guide on how to raise your Spiderling.

by embarrassing_myself



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Cancer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Learning to be a parent, Precious Peter Parker, Spider-son, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 71,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16617620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embarrassing_myself/pseuds/embarrassing_myself
Summary: Nobody ever gave much thought to where Peter would end up if anything were to happen to May.Expect of course, May.So when circumstances change it's up to May Parker to teach Tony how to be the best possible parent in a very short (and unfair) amount of time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first attempt at writing for this fandom! Thank you so much for reading and if you'd like please comment and leave kudos! Feel free to add ideas, input, or yell at me for grammatical errors!

One day, that was all Tony had wanted. It had been a long week.

No, hold that thought.  
  
It had been a long year. And by some miraculous happening, Tony had the day off. There were no meetings Pepper was rushing him to, nothing was currently trying to destroy the world, the team was keeping a low profile at the compound, and the Spiderling was safe and sound. It was going to be a good day.

Tony had slowly opened his eyes to the warm sunshine filling his room at the Tower. “FRIDAY, what time is it?” Tony asked as he stretched out in bed, yawning in a strange rare form of contentment.

“It’s currently 9:03 in the morning, Boss. Should I start the coffee?” Tony closed his eyes again, pulling the blankets up around his shoulder and inhaled deeply. What was the rush? He hadn’t gotten to sleep till nine in ages.

“I’m good, FRI. Let’s leave it for another hour. I think I’m gonna stay right here for a bit longer,” Tony decided as he closed his eyes again. It was the perfect day for absolutely nothing.

The AI paused, not yet confirming Tony’s statement. The man was use to FRIDAY giving some kind of verbal response. A long second later Tony opened his eyes and waited. “Sir, May Parker is attempting to call. Would you like me take a message or would you like me to send her to your voicemail? Perhaps redirect her to Mr. Hogan?”

Of course. Of course managing a day off wouldn’t be that simple. There was only one reason in the entire world May Parker would call him and that had everything to do with the kid. “Nope, patch her through,” Tony said as he sat up in bed, already throwing the blankets to the side and sitting up. That’s what he got for giving out his personal number to the woman.

He never once regretted it though.

“Tony?” May asked softly as soon as the call was connected. Already the man was up and searching for something to put on. He just wasn’t positive on if he’d be stepping into a suit or not.

“Is he okay?” Tony asked, skipping the formalities. “I can be wherever he is in ten minutes.” He was throwing on pants and a shirt, followed by a pair of shoes. It was incredible how quickly Tony could get himself dressed. It all came with years of practice. And years of panic.

“No, no, no,” May said quickly, he voice filling Tony’s bedroom. For a second Tony stopped, furrowing his brow in confusion. “Peter is fine. I do have a uh...well a bit of a situation that I was hoping you could help me with. It is about Peter but-he’s fine right now, he’s at school...I just need…” May stuttered out quickly and Tony could see where the kid got it from.

“You sound like Pete after I gave him three cups of coffee,” Tony joked, slowing down to tie his shoes. Him and May had a complex relationship. Not exactly friends, certainly not enemies.

It was more like a _‘you gave my underage kid the suit and now I expect you to take full responsibility for everything that happens to him’_ relationship. But also a _‘we kind of have to work together on this if we want to see this kid make to graduation,’_ relationship.

“You gave Peter three cups of coffee?” May asked, taking on the unamused tone that Tony was used to. “Seriously? He’s fifteen, the last thing he needs is coffee.”

“Relax May, it was only two!” Tony joked again and May huffed in frustration. “I’m kidding, no more coffee jokes. What’s wrong?”

“I was actually wondering, now that we’re on the topic of coffee, if you could meet me for some. I just wanted to talk and I don’t think this is the kind of conversation you have over the phone,” She mumbled and Tony’s stomach twisted nervously.

He didn’t like conversations that were too important to be held over the phone. Nothing good ever came of them. Knowing it was about Peter made it even worse. “I know you’re busy, I wouldn’t bother you if I didn’t need to. ”

“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll be at the apartment. I hope you’ve got a whole pot ready,” Tony mumbled. He should have been thankful that he didn’t hear May silently agree to that whole pot of coffee.

**

  
It was always a bit strange going to Peter’s home. It was completely different than the places Tony was accustomed to going. The two bedroom apartment was small but warm and welcoming. It smelt like spice and vanilla, probably from one of May’s many candles. It wasn’t like the modern carefully decorated tower Tony lived in. Nor was it like the avengers compound or the house in Malibu. It was a proper home and it felt like one too.

“So what do I owe this lovely visit? Not that I don’t love seeing you,” Tony said with a cautious smile. He couldn’t think of any trouble Peter had gotten into lately. Karen hadn’t reported any injuries or unusual happenings. The kid was good at hiding things so Tony could never be too sure about it.

He knew something was wrong just from the way May looked. Her actions were off, they were tight and planned and Tony felt out of his element. Because this wasn’t a criminal or a fugitive he was dealing with. It wasn’t a high official or a politician. It was a nurse from Queens and Peter Parker’s guardian. She glanced at the sofa and gave him a pointed look. “Sit down, I’ll get you some coffee.”

Tony wasn’t use to taking orders, he was always the one giving them. He was vaguely reminded of his school years and how the principle would always tell him to sit before he was yelled at. “You want cream or sugar?” May asked from the kitchen and Tony had to take another deep breath. This was exactly like being in trouble.

“Black is fine, May. But if I’m being honest I don’t necessarily like being dodged,” Tony said in return while he took a seat on the dated sofa. “Something is up if you asked me to come today.” It had to be because Tony could count exactly how many times he’d been to May’s home. It wasn’t often and it usually didn’t end well for him.

May returned with two cups, carefully sitting one down in front of Tony before she herself took a seat next to him. “I know, it’s just not easy to say,” May admitted. Tony wondered if maybe she was being suspenseful on purpose. May never seemed like the type for dramatics though. She was always straight and to the point and firm. Sort of like Pepper.

“Okay well…”Tony started before picking up his cup. “You could try talking?” He suggested before taking a sip. “Usually that’s what happens when two people get together to discuss something. You know most of the time I have a pretty good idea as to what I’m in trouble for. I can’t think of anything this time. Did he fail a class or something?”

The woman laughed softly, shaking her head before pushing her glasses up her nose some. She looked tired and worried. Maybe older then when Tony had last seen her all of three months ago. She had a couple more gray hairs but that was typical. If you were going to deal with Peter Parker you should expect some type of rapid aging.

“You aren’t in trouble,” May finally said. “And he didn’t fail anything, but I do need a bit of help,” she hesitated, quickly running her tongue over her lip nervously. She brushed some of her hair behind her ear and her eyes fell into her coffee cup.

Nobody said anything for a long moment. Instead May stared so hard down into that cup that Tony thought that her and the coffee might be having some kind of conversation. Or maybe she was was looking for an answer.

“May, you’re scaring me,” Tony blurted out, shaking the woman from her thoughts. “What’s wrong. Something is wrong because I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.”

May nodded quickly before exhaling deeply. “You’re right. Something is wrong. I’m sick.”

Tony raised an eyebrow and waited for her to continue. When she didn’t he set his cup down and crossed his arms over his chest. You’re sick with worry?” He suggested.

Again May’s eyes dropped from his and she shook her head. “No, I’m sick.”

Okay, she kept saying she was sick but that didn’t exactly answer any of Tony’s questions. It was vague and if anything it only left more unanswered ones.

“Sick with a cold, sick with-with the flu...sick of Peter being Spider-Man? May I’m not a mind reader.”

“I’ve got cancer.” Finally she dropped the ball, her eyes meeting Tony’s again as she sat her cup down. She said it like suddenly everything would make sense, like the man next to her would automatically get it.

No. No. No. May couldn’t get sick like that. She couldn’t have cancer, she was too good of a person. She had too many things left that she needed to do and what about Peter? She couldn’t get sick because the kid was only a kid, barely fifteen. ‘He just turned fifteen’ Tony thought helplessly.

“You have cancer,” Tony repeatedly softly. How was he meant carry on this conversation? Nobody had ever looked Tony in the eye and told him something like that. “May I’m…” he felt too lost for words. “I’m so sorry. Anything I can do to help I will. We’ve got the best medical team at the compound. I can get you doctors, treatments, anything you need. We’ll cover it. If it’s money, consider it already paid for.”

“I have insurance,” May said quickly. “Right now they’re covering just about everything. It’s not exactly a matter of treatment right now.”

“What do you mean not a matter of treatment?” Tony asked. “I know cancer is expensive but we’ve got plenty of options.” We. He said we like they were in it together. Because they sort of had to be right?

Tony was fairly close to Peter, they spent time together at the tower, every couple of weekends they’d see each other and maybe work a bit in the lab, usually just upgrading his suit. There was an unspoken obligation there, at least Tony felt left like there was. He had the financial ability to help, so it felt like he should.

May opened her mouth to say something but no words came. She sighed again before closing her eyes and running a hand down the side of her face. “I’m sorry, I just found out a few days ago. You’re the first person I’ve told. I haven’t exactly talked to anyone about this. There isn’t a good conversation starter or a helpful tips flyer.

Okay that made more sense. She didn’t know how to talk about her treatment because this was a new discovery. “Hey, I'm serious. Whatever it takes we’ll figure it out. I’ve got connections, I know doctors, I’ve got pull everywhere.”

“Tony,” May said gently, reaching out to place a hand on his. Why was she trying to comfort him when she had just found out that she had cancer? “I’ve got pancreatic cancer. I’m already in stage four. Treatments aren’t going to cure this, at most it’ll buy me time.”

It had felt like a blow to the stomach. Tony didn’t believe that the world had ever been fair. This was only one of the many moments that confirmed that fact. “Well you have to try something, right? Chemo or radiation, something, anything?”

“I’m going to look into them,” May said carefully. “But we found it pretty late in the game,” she said with a sharp laugh, the sound bitter and distant. “I was feeling a lot of stomach pain, I was having some trouble breathing, a lot of nausea.” May explained while Tony listened carefully.

“I went to the doctor thinking it was just a flu or something like that and they did some tests, then a few more, and the next day they called me back in. It’s um...they explain it better than I do,” May mumbled and Tony wondered why this woman wasn’t falling apart at the seams. “It’s spreading and it’s advanced and what I’m trying to say is that treatment isn’t going to fix this. It’s everywhere.”

“But you said it would give you more time?” Tony asked repeating what May had already told him. It would give her lots of time right? Years. Until after Peter had graduated, until he went to college and then graduated from that too.

“Yeah,” May answered after another sip from her cup, Tony had long forgotten his cooling caffeine. “A few months hopefully. Right now I’m looking at about five, I’d like to stretch it to six.”

If he had been holding that cup of coffee, he would have dropped it right then. “I’m sorry, six?” He asked, his mouth feeling dry and his heart starting to hammer.

_No. This was not happening. She means years, please say six more years._

“I’m terminal,” May said like she could read the man’s mind. “The doctor estimates I’ve got around five months of moderate health, if I opt for treatment they might be able to get six months out of me. Tony I’m dying.” There she was, the plain straightforward blunt May that Tony knew.

“Peter,” Tony forced himself to say and the woman next to him nodded in agreement. Now he was starting to _get it_.

“Exactly,” May pushed the glasses up her nose again. Eventually after another drawn out pause she went on. “I’ve got to figure something out for him. Because even if I make it, I’d be a bad parent not to make a plan. Do you understand that? No matter what happens I have to have a plan and right now...you’re it.”

Tony’s eyes snapped to her eyes and his expression said everything. Tony was not a plan. Not the plan that parents made for their children if anything unspeakable were to happen. Because May had been the plan! May and Ben were the plan and now...There was no way, Tony didn’t know the first thing about kids. Yeah he was an adult but not the kind that was equipped or responsible enough to be entrusted with a child. “Okay wait hold on,”

“Tony please I wouldn’t ask you if I had any other options!” May said quickly, seeing exactly where Tony was heading. “There is no one else. Ben and I were it and now it’s just me and now...I can’t just leave him to the foster system. You know they won’t understand.” No they wouldn’t because he was Spider-Man. Damn it. “If there was one other person who could do this they would be it. But there isn’t.” May’s tone was desperate and pleading. “Please. We’ve got _no one._ I don’t have anyone else to go to.”

“You can’t just assume you’re going to die!” Tony said shaking his head in disbelief. “You can’t die, May. This kid needs you, not me. It’s not me, it’s you it has to be you.”

Tony hated it, he hated being the person to say that he couldn’t take Peter but May had to just...buckle down and survive!

“I’m not assuming I’m going to die,” May said calmly. “But I have to prepare for it.” Her voice went a little softer and Tony could hear the underlying fear and devastation. “I’ve got a twenty five percent chance that I’ll live another year. Seven percent chance at making it to five years. I can’t even think about the next step unless I know Peter has a place to go. Someone who’ll take care of him.”

How do you say no that? How could Tony say no when May’s eyes were starting to well up with tears and her voice was cracking? She was dying and Tony couldn’t sit there and tell her _‘No I won’t take care of Peter.’_

“Okay,” Tony said quietly. “ Alright-okay. You know that if anything happens I’ll take him.” No matter how much doubt Tony had, the answer would have always been yes in the end. May nodded her head and took another shuddering breath.

“Thank you,” She whispered, quickly trying to blink the tears away. Tony slowly picked up his coffee and took a sip. A long long sip.

“Does Peter know that I’m...that he’ll come with me?” Tony asked because he had to be sure the kid understood that he was up to bat if anything did happen. When it happened.

“Peter doesn’t know I’ve been diagnosed yet.” The day just kept getting worse and worse. Tony didn’t know much about kids but he knew that didn’t sound right.

“You haven’t told him him?” Tony asked while May shook her head. “You can’t...I know it’s hard but he has to know.” Didn’t he? Tony didn’t know the exact way to tell your kid that you had cancer. But Peter wasn’t a small kid, he wasn't five. Maybe this was something May should tell him. This was something you told your kids right?

“I’m going to tell him,” May said, that same firm look she always wore. “I need some time to figure this out. It’s...it’s delicate and he’s already been through so much. I wanted him to have…” May choked and Tony quickly reached out, to comfort her.

He stopped just short of touching her hand. Because Tony didn’t know how to comfort physically. He didn’t know to be warm or soft, he didn’t know what he was doing. Another reason why he was the worst possible person to take child in.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m okay, I’m alright.” May said quickly, clearing her throat. “I wanted him to have as much normal as he could for just a little longer. Let me get some things sorted out and I’ll tell him.” Again nobody said anything. Finally May muttered a soft, “I will tell him. Just not today.”

“Okay,” Tony said. The two sat there together for a long time after that. The silence was suffering and the ticking of the clock was like a heartbeat. So loud that it was almost driving the man sitting on the worn out sofa mad. What were they going to do?

Maybe everything would work out and May would get better and Peter would never have to know how close he’d come to losing another parental figure. Maybe Tony would never have to worry about how to finish raising this enhanced teenager. Because that would be the best case scenario. But Tony was use to hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

“Let’s make a game plan,” Tony said, breaking the deafening quiet.”I think we should start with the hard part first. We’ll get some lawyers together and make up custody plans. We’ll go from there.” It seemed like the best idea. Tackle the hardest parts and work their way down into the simpler aspects of it.  
  
If he could take this emotional situation and turn it into business he might be able to get by.

“Okay, I’ll sign what we need to,” May mumbled, brushing a few imaginary specks of dust off her skirt. Tony stood up from the sofa followed by the woman and the two gave each other the same look. The look that read, ‘ _if this is the best it gets, we’re in trouble.’_

“Please don’t stress out because I’m already stressed out and I don’t want to freak Peter out. I’m okay today, honestly I’m not going to die in the next hour. Really it’s so strange, I feel a lot better than I have in weeks after they gave me some nausea pills and a breathing treatment.”

“May, I’m sorry,” Tony said again. “Anything you need you got. I hope you think hard about what treatments are out there. I’ve still got a lot of faith.”

“Of course, and you know I’ve got a lot of faith in you. We’ve still got plenty of time to figure it out.”

Translate that into. Tony you’ve got roughly a few months to learn how to be a halfway decent parent.

“Right,” Tony nodded sharply. “How about I pick him up this weekend. I should have some custody papers made up by then, I’ll drop them off and you can look over them, sign them if it looks good."

And after a short exchange of goodbyes Tony was in the backseat with Happy driving him to a law firm in upstate New York. “Everything alright Boss?”

“I’m not sure, Happy. Let me get back to you on that one.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over 200 kudos on the first day?! That's crazy, thank you guys so much! I'm so happy that the first chapter went over well! and really it means so much to have the comments and the likes! Thanks again for reading! Hopefully I can keep updating pretty quickly!

“No, I told you it needed to be kid friendly, we’re not putting up a Monet piece,” Tony snapped while he held the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He knew his patience was running thin but he’d been working with designers all day. What should have been a simple enough task had turned into a bit of a nightmare.

Peter needed a room at the tower and a room at the Malibu house. Tony would have assumed that he could get that done within a few hours. Apparently not. “No, I did give you information to go off of, he likes the color red, he likes Star Wars, and he likes science.”

The voice on the other end of the line snapped back and Tony winced, pulling the phone away from his ear in the process. “I don’t know how you’re meant to incorporate those things! That’s why you’re the designer, not me. Can’t you just come up with a vision or something?” Thank God he’d already gotten his room at the compound finished ages ago. “He likes Queens, no not the band! The city, there that’s four bits of information, figure it out!” Tony said before ending the call.

Trying to throw a room together for the kid only reminded Tony of how much he actually didn’t know. Four things was all he could give the designer to go off of. Tony just hoped that by some small grace they wouldn’t decided to put Star Wars sheets on his bed. He tried to recall everything he knew Peter liked but every time he thought he was on to something, he drew a blank.

The man stared down at the phone in his hand, knowing that he had about twenty unread messages from Pepper. He was almost too afraid to look. It turned out that Pepper didn't like Tony sending her brief voicemails about needing guardianship papers delivered and advice on constructing a legal will when the deceased had children.

None of this made sense to him. One minute his main concern was amending the accords, fixing the strained group dynamics within the Avengers, and trying to keep the universe in some resemblance of peace. And the next thing he knew he was making plans on exactly what he’d do if May did pass away.

The full weight of it hadn't hit him yet. Why should it? May was going to get better, she had to. Because like Tony had stated before he wasn’t a parent and he knew next to nothing about raising kids.

He just needed to keep things at professional business level. In his mind these were all unlikely scenarios. He was just making a readiness plan, that was it. Like an emergency plan, he’d never need to implement the plan but it was there just in case. And if it made May, who was unarguablely sick, feel better than it couldn’t hurt.

Somewhere deep down Tony had the sinking suspicion that he was wrong. That he was in a state of denial but he needed to put some kind of metaphorical wall up to keep himself from falling apart.

Which was exactly how he explained it to Pepper when he finally worked up the courage to take her phone call.

“You realize that taking care of a child is more than just having a nicely decorated room for them right?!” She all but yelled. “There has to be someone else who can take care of him.”

“Hey, some confidence would be nice at a time like this!” Tony huffed as he made his way to the lab. “I don’t like this either, but if you can sit there and tell a sick woman that her child is going to end up in foster care you go for it. I’ve got a little more empathy than that.”

“Do not turn this around on me! You don’t get to talk about morals or sympathy and twist my own words. This is about Peter’s wellbeing not about some complex you have!”

Okay that one hurt a little more than Tony would ever admit. He knew he was in over his head but did he really need Pepper to tell him that? She knew him better than anyone and she had her point. Hell Tony knew she was right. But the New York foster care system wasn’t an option. If Tony could do something about it, and he could, Peter would never even cross paths with CPS.

And maybe there was this twinge of protectiveness he felt towards the teen Somebody had to protect him. Tony had just so happened to inherited the job. “Alright, if this is the extent of our conversation I’m going to have to end it.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” Pepper sighed and Tony knew she meant it. “I’m more than slightly concerned about all this. You have no idea the amount of work it’s going to take or the lifestyle changes you’re going to have to make. He needs somebody who he can depend on, someone who is going to put him first in every situation.”

“Can you just cut me some slack? May is going to be fine! But in the...unlikely event that she’s not, we need to have a plan for the kid. That’s what responsible adults do.” Tony could hear Pepper sigh over the phone.

“If you do this, you do this for life. He’s not something you can just hand over when it doesn’t work out.”

That was the last comment Tony could take before he reached a breaking point. He sat up in his chair and narrowed his eyes despite knowing that the woman couldn’t see his expression. “Do you really think all this shit about me? That I’m not going to put him first or that I’m not going to be someone who he can depend on? Do you seriously think I’d ever want to give him away?”

“No,” Pepper answered almost instantly. There were too many mixed messages going between them that Tony couldn’t gauge how Pepper actually felt at the moment. “No, I know that you’re going to do your best and that you’re going to go above and beyond for him. I just truly hope you know that it’s not going to be easy. So when I send you these papers, you better know that your ass is in it for the long hall. There isn’t any backing out.”

“Send them,” Tony said with a fierceness Pepper hadn’t heard In a long time. Having Pepper question him only made Tony want to prove it to her and everyone else...to himself, that he could protect one kid from Queens. He wanted to prove to he could be parent material if it came to that. Tony wanted it to be known that he wasn’t anything like the man his father was.

“Alright, I’ll email them right over,” Pepper said with a tone that it said it was final. “Call me when you’ve signed everything, I’ll read through it and give them to the lawyers. I mean it, you know. I know you’ll do your best. But some strong advice? You’re best better get better.”

“How thoughtful. Thanks for helping out,” Tony mumbled, ready to hang up and nurse his ego for a bit. Pepper quickly stopped him, speaking up again.

“How long does-what does the prognosis look like?” She asked, something else filling her voice.Sadness and perhaps worry. “I know doctors can’t ever determine that though. But I’m just trying to get an idea-”

Tony cut her off with a heavy sigh of his own. “She told me six months but I think she’s just scared. And you know how doctors are, they’re all about scaring the shit outta people.”

“Six months?” Pepper asked breathlessly. “Did you offer to find her a doctor, we’ve got access to the best doctors and specialist, maybe that could help?”

“I asked her and she didn’t sound too interested. I think her insurance is fairly decent but…I don’t know, she’s just not very positive right now. So we need to be positive for her right?” Tony muttered, staring down at his desk.

“What does Peter think of all this, how is he holding up?”

Tony felt his stomach twist because he was once again reminded that Peter didn’t know. He was probably at school, maybe even at lunch. The thought of cancer and death and loss wasn’t crossing his mind. He was still blissfully unaware and Tony could see why May would want to keep it that way. Peter hasn’t had it easy, who wouldn’t want to keep any pain or hurt away from him?

He also thought that she needed to tell him and the sooner the better. “Uh, well he doesn’t know. May is going to tell him soon but...as of right now he’s not in the loop. I figured I’d pick him up after school and we’ll spend the weekend together.”

“He doesn’t know?” She asked, sounding like the weight of the world had just gotten heavier. “She’s going to keep it from him? Eventually he’s going to figure it out. And if you’re having people over trying to put his room together...I don’t think you two are going to get away with keeping it from him for long.”

“They’re working on his room in Malibu, the designer won’t be here to decorate until later in the week. He’s not going to suddenly come in and start asking questions as to why I’m renovating his guest room.” Tony answered. “And as far as everything else goes. It’s not exactly my decision to tell him. I know it’s going to be a disaster but it’s what May wants right now.”

“Alright,” Pepper said, Tony could see her shaking her head already. “I don’t know what I’d do either but I’ll have papers over. You fill them out and you’ve got the legal process taken care of. Now all you have to do is figure out is child rearing.”

“Why would you pick that word, you could have used any word!” Tony said in exasperation. Peter was fifteen, the hard part was already over...right? There would be no rearing of any sorts. Hopefully. Possibly. He he was at least 65% raised already.

“Whatever, you know what I mean! I’ll talk to you later tonight, don’t ignore my calls again. You know I’ll just come find you.”

***

“Boss, not that I’m complaining. But you usually don’t ride with me when I go pick the kid up.” Happy said from the driver’s seat, glancing into the rear view and raising a suspicious eyebrow at the man in the backseat.

“I’ll have to fill you in later. Long story short, I’m going to try the bonding thing with Pete. See how that works out,” Tony hummed in response. He wanted to tell Happy but he wasn’t sure if he had the energy in him after telling the story to Pepper. He would though, he’d fill Happy in and Rodes to.

Happy pulled up to the large high school, honking when a woman in a minivan tried to cut him off. “God, it’s always busy,” he grumbled. “It’s like if these soccer moms can’t get to their kids in the next 2 seconds they’ll suddenly explode. I swear it’s war out here every time.”

“What do you expect, we’ve got a hundred parents trying to pick up their kids on top of a hundred upperclassmen with limited driving experience, who are doing good just to manage their seat belts,” Tony commented, keeping an eye out for his own teen.

And about a minute later it was Happy who spotted him. “He’s on the steps with Ned, that’s usually what they do until traffic clears,” he informed Tony before honking his horn again to get the boy’s attention.

Tony carefully removed his sunglasses and directed his gaze to where Happy had pointed. Peter was bundled up in his coat and scarf while he laughed and smiled at something Ned had said. For everything he’d been through, he was such a happy kid. And suddenly Tony was hit with a sick feeling.

He knew something Peter didn’t know. Something that would ruin the kid’s life and he wasn’t even aware of it but Tony was. As another honk from Happy got Peter’s attention, the boy quickly said goodbye to his friend and jogged over.

“Woah! Mr. Stark I didn’t know you’d be here too, is everything okay?” Peter asked, opening the back door and giving the man a shocked look. “You don’t ever come to get me.”

“Relax Spiderling, nothing is wrong. I just had some free time, thought you might want to go grab a meal before we head to the tower. You’re still up for spending the night right?” Tony asked.

The thing was, was that when Peter spent the night it was rarely planned out. The two of them just knew they were going to work on something in the lab (usually the Spider Suit) and it would get so late that Peter would sleep over and head home in the morning. But this was different. Tony was actually going to try to spend time with him.

“Oh yeah, May reminded me today. It was like she actually wanted me to come over,” Peter laughed as he climbed inside the car. “Not that she ever has a problem with me coming over! She just usually doesn’t tell me to,” Peter said clarifying himself. “Are we getting Starbucks again?”

“Do not give him Starbucks, last time taking him home was hell,” Happy grumbled from the front. Peter gave them both a sheepish guilty smile before sliding down in his seat some.

“They've got hot chocolate too,” Tony said with an eye roll. “Come on Happy, I’ll buy us some coco.” Tony turned towards the kid in the seat next to him, somehow suddenly noticing how small he seemed. He looked very much his age with his small stature and his big brown eyes and his cheeks that were just a bit red from the cold he’d been in.

_God he’s fifteen, he’s only fifteen, what am I going to do?_

“Mr Stark what is it?” Peter asked,quickly running his hands down his cheeks and over his nose. “Do I have something on my face?”

Tony laughed lightly before shaking his head. “No, I just wanted to ask you how school was. I zoned out for a minute.”

Peter seemed skeptical for a moment before Tony could see him slowly accept that answer. “It wasn’t bad, Ned dared me to drink the chemicals in chemistry today.”

Tony felt himself choke and Peter had even earned them a look from Happy. “But you didn’t...right?” Tony asked nervously.

“Well it was a dare,” Peter mumbled back, grabbing his backpack and opening it.

“Peter!” Tony said. Unbelievable, what was he meant to do with that information?! “You can’t just drink whatever is in the beaker no matter how bad you want to!”

“I was just kidding!” Peter said quickly reaching into his bag to pull something out. “I promise, I didn’t drink anything in chemistry today.”

Oh God, Tony thought. What a statement.

“Look! I aced my math test again,” Peter said as he proudly showed Mr. Stark the paper. “I was a little worried about this one because I didn’t get to study much, I didn’t do too bad though,” Peter smiled as he let Tony take the paper from him.

“Good job, Underoos,” he said almost warmly. He flipped through the packet and realized just how complex some of the problems were. Was that a sense of pride that was coming over him? But who wouldn’t be proud of Peter, the kid was in all AP classes and practically a genius. Nothing wrong with being proud. “We’ll hang it on the fridge when we get home.”

“That’s okay Mr. Stark, really, let’s not hang it anywhere,” Peter mumbled, carefully taking the test back and shoving it in his bag.

Happy scoffed from the front seat, sending them another look from the front. “I feel bad for whatever kid gets stuck with you for a dad, it would just be 18 years of embarrassment.”

“Nobody asked you Happy,” Tony said, fighting the urge to roll his eyes again. _More like three years._

“It’s alright, Mr. Stark. I’m sure you’d make a great dad,” Peter said, trying to come up some kind of encouragement. The conversation was hitting much too close to home and the irony of it wasn’t something Tony wanted to think about. And that said something, usually Tony loved an ironic twist.

“And that’s why I’m letting you have a caramel macchiato,” Tony said while the driver groaned in frustration.

**

The two worked in the lab for hours that evening. It was a contended silenced but Tony could feel the weight of his knowledge. He didn’t like knowing something about Peter that the kid himself didn’t know. Especially as life changing as that secret was.

He did his best to push the thoughts away and focus on in his work. Peter’s suit was a little more complex than his Mark versions. It fell more into the lines of his nano technology. Tony loved the challenge though, Peter seemed to as well. How do you make spandex safe? Tony had nearly perfected it.

“Hey, Kid?” Tony asked, spinning around in his chair to face the teen.

“Hmm?” Peter asked, stopping what he was doing to look at Tony.

“What do you like to do?” Tony asked, surprising himself. But beside school and patrolling Tony didn’t really know what the kid liked. Science sure but what did he do for fun? What were his hobbies, what did he do when he wasn’t saving Queens or sitting in a classroom.

Peter gave him a strange look before hesitantly answering. “What do you mean?”

“You know, what do you like to do for fun?” Tony asked, hoping that it wasn’t the weirdest question he’d ever come up with. It shouldn’t have been...the look Peter gave him certainly made it seem like it was.

“This is fun,” Peter answered quickly. He didn’t want Tony to get the wrong idea, that he wasn’t having in fun or something. “I love updating the suit and working in the lab. That’s fun.”

“Yeah but something that isn’t so sciencey. Do you do normal kid stuff?” Tony asked and instantly wished he could take it back when Peter’s face fell.

“You don’t think I’m normal?” The teen asked, his eyes widening. Why did you have to ask that?! Now look, you’ve upset him.

“Of course I think you’re normal! I just wondering if there is anything else you like to do! You know, uh...sports, art, music? Anything?”

Peter just continued to stare with sadness and confusion. “I like to build stuff Mr. Stark,” he finally answered. “Is that really boring? I know I’m a nerd, I just...it’s just what I like I guess. I build computers, I have fun in chemistry, math is exciting, I have a seat on the decathlon team. Yeah I’m kind of a loser.”

Tony remembered the very first time he’d ever met Peter Parker. He'd told him he built computers. He should have remembered that sooner.

“Hey, you’re not a loser. Maybe a nerd yeah but not a loser,” Tony answered, giving Peter a small smile. “I like those things too, I mean, hence the lab and everything.” Tony built things as well, it had been his life’s passion. That and the whole superhero thing. But it only meant him and Peter were alike in more ways than one.”At least you didn’t say partying. I might sneak you coffee but that doesn’t mean I’m cool enough to condone teen parties.”

At least Peter wasn’t out doing what Tony did at fifteen. College parties, drinking, running from the police. He’d rather have the kid safe at home playing Jr. Engineer and baby chemist than following in Tony’s path.

“Hah, as if I’d ever get invited to a party,” Peter mumbled, shaking his head. “It’s a whole school of nerds and I’m still at the bottom of the food chain there. I’m the farthest thing from cool.”

“You’re Spiderman.” Tony answered instantly. “While they're out drinking and getting into trouble, you’re saving the city. You’re out saving Queens in a super suit built by Tony Stark himself. You’ve meet the avengers, you have an ‘SI internship,’ you regularly spend the night at the tower and you’ve got your own room at the compound. That’s pretty cool, Kid.”

“Okay, okay I get it,” Peter laughed, lowering his eyes some. “My life is incredible even if I don’t get invited to parties.”

“Absolutely,” Tony agreed. “And who knows, a selfie with Iron Man goes a long ways for social status,” Tony said with a smirk.

“Oh God,” Peter laughed, rolling his eyes and grabbing the Strarkpad he’d been working on. “I’ll post a picture with Iron Man if you take one with Spiderman,” Peter said with a smile before turning back around in his seat.

“Huh,” Tony said, turning back around himself. “I’ll keep that in mind for my Christmas card.”

Tony couldn’t help but feel a sensation of warmth spread through him. Was that successful parenting? Did he just mentor Peter right then, like properly? Tony had spent a lot of time doubting himself when it came to Peter but that had went well. He’d reassured the kid and reminded him that things weren’t so bad. Maybe he was on the right track after all.

If only it could stay just like that. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is such a slow chapter! The next one should pick up the pace a bit! Thanks again for reading!! <3

When the end of the weekend rolled around Tony couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. It had been nice to have the kid there, he gave the tower a sense of energy. Sure the place was huge, massive even. It was filled with people almost 24/7. People who were working for SI in every department imaginable. But none of them brought it life like Peter did.

Maybe that’s just what kids did though, bring life and all that. Or maybe Tony was feeling overly sentimental about the whole thing. Either way, after two short days Tony was once again in the backseat of Happy’s car with Peter right next to him.

It had been fun though. It was filled with lab time and movies and pizza that Peter swore was healthy. _‘It’s got all the main food groups Mr. Stark!’_ It had been almost too easy to give into the teen. One look from Peter, with his big brown eyes, and Tony felt himself weaken.

“Hey, Mr Stark what is that?” Peter asked from beside him, shaking Tony from his thoughts. The kid had pointed to the large manila envelope Tony had been carrying around with him.

“This?” Tony asked, knowing that it was exactly what Peter was talking about. He had to think quick because inside that envelope was everything Peter couldn’t yet know about. They were papers for May, all regarding Peter and granting Tony guardianship. “Um, well this is...recipes,” Tony mumbled before clearing his throat. _‘Recipes, really what are you thinking?’_ It was the best he could come up with though.

“Recipes?” Peter repeated slowly, giving the man a strange look. “What do you mean recipes?”

“Uh, for your aunt. Yeah, for May. Pepper had been trying some things out in the kitchen and she just felt very compelled to send May over a couple of her new recipes. You know, holiday baking and what not.”

“Oh…” Peter trailed off. “Yeah, I was talking to her a few weeks ago about how aunt May’s cooking needed some improvement. I probably shouldn't’ have said that. May tries really hard and I’ll eat whatever she makes! Even if it’s burnt. And it’s not really fair for me to complain when I can’t even cook.” Peter said, looking a little sad about what he’d said. It was actually working out perfectly in Tony’s favor though. He’d never expected his lie to be all that believable.

“Relax, Pete. I think it’s just a couple cookie recipes. I don’t think we have to worry about May’s culinary skills changing vastly because of it,” Tony said with a small laugh.

“She’s getting better I think, last Thursday the meatloaf was burnt but the inside was done! Usually it’s raw on the inside and really charred on the outside. I’m sure May will be happy that Ms. Potts shared her recipes though. I don’t think May has a lot of friends she can share stuff like that with.”

Tony felt his heart sink and he was once again reminded of everything that was happening. Not only did May Parker not have family to turn to, she didn’t seem to have friends either according to Peter. Tony wondered if he could at least convince the woman to let him buy her a consular, it coudn’t be healthy to feel alone like that.

A few minutes later and they were parked outside of Peter’s apartment complex. “Alright thanks Mr. Stark, Thanks Happy!” Peter said cheerfully as he held his hand out for the envelope. “I can take that in.”

“No can do, Kid,” Tony said, already climbing out of the car while Happy handed Peter his bag. “I gotta and hand deliver this, Ms Potts orders.”

“Uh, okay,” Peter nodded while he waited for Tony. It was a little strange but he didn’t say anything else about it. Instead he followed closely behind the man as they went up to his and May’s home.

“Hey Aunt May, I’m home!” Peter called out, letting his bag drop just inside the doorway. “Tony’s here too!”

Tony took in the apartment. It was the same warm welcoming feeling he’d been greeted with just the previous week. And then there was May, coming out of the kitchen with a bright smile.

She didn’t look sick. Her yellow sweater was maybe just a little bigger on her than it should have been and she had opted for sweats instead of the skirts she usually had on. Other than that Tony wouldn’t have realized there was something so serious happening inside of her.

“Hey Sweetie, how was your weekend?” May asked, pulling the teen into a tight hug. Tony watched from the side, trying to ignore that tight coiled feeling. _‘Peter doesn’t know’_ “I missed you, it felt like a long weekend didn’t it?”

“Did it?” Peter laughed, hugging her back. “I had a great time, maybe that’s why it went so fast for me,” Peter said. “I kinda can’t breathe though, I love you May but you’re suffocating me.” Eventually the teen had managed to get out of May’s tight embrace and Tony wished he would have let it last a little longer.

“Sorry, Hun,” May laughed, shaking her head. “I don’t know my own strength right?” May’s expression didn’t change but Tony could see something in her eyes. Something that said she wished it would have lasted longer too. What if May did die and what if Peter would do anything to have a hug like that from her just one more time?

Tony had to push those thoughts away, far away actually. There was too much to be done to have any kind of meltdown. He’d have to schedule any and all mental/emotional breakdowns for later in the year. “Ms Parker,” Tony said, sending the woman a sharp smile. “I’ve got those recipes Pepper sent over. I think you’re going to love them.”

May was quick to catch on to the coverup. Without missing a beat, she grabbed the envelope Tony had expended to her. “Perfect. I’ve actually got some for her as well.” May headed over to the coffee table and grabbed a blue notebook off it. “Now I need the book bag, just because I’m always adding to it. Have her take a look would you?”

That hadn’t been part of the plan. Tony hadn’t expected May to have anything for him in return, let alone some kind of notebook. “Not a problem, she’s really getting into cooking.” The man grabbed the book and held it protectively under his arm. “I’ll have her give it back before next week. I’ll drop it off then if that’s alright with you.”

Before May could agree Peter had spoke up. “You and Ms Potts talk?” He asked, raising his eyebrow at his aunt. He was making that face again, the one Tony had decided was reserved for when somebody said something strange or off. “How come you don’t just email it to her?”

May ruffled Peter’s hair and gave him another smile. “Sometimes things just have be handwritten. You know?”

“If you say so,” Peter said with a slight shrug. “I gotta go unpack though, then I should probably finish up my essay for English. I’ll see you later Mr. Stark!” Pete called, already running off further inside the apartment and out of tony’s line of vision. If Tony had been in Peter’s position, he wouldn’t have believed for one second that they were swapping recipes. Not even at fifteen was Tony nearly half as trusting as Peter was.

The two were once again alone with each other. May sighed softly before pointing to the book in Tony’s hand. She pointed to her ears and mouthed, ‘Super hearing.’ Right Peter was only a room over. He could surly hear anything he wanted. ‘Look it over,’ May mouthed again..

Tony nodded before saying, “I’ll see you later then, Next week when I pick him up.” It almost felt like step parenting already. Tony got the kid on the weekends while May had him on the weekdays. That seemed to be the new pattern they were falling into.

**

That evening Tony sat in the guest room that Peter had just been in. He hadn’t yet opened the notebook May had given him. He’d flipped through the pages without reading any of the words but it seemed to be half way full of her writing.

Tomorrow a small team would come in to replace the bed with something nicer, they’d change the color of the walls and add their own touches. It just didn’t seem real to him. He kept saying that and thinking it, it was like beating a dead horse.

At one point in Tony’s life, for a very short while, he’d wanted kids. Sometime after Afghanistan and before Ultron. And that in itself felt like lifetimes ago. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Peter. He was the perfect kid, anyone would love him. Everybody did love him. But you get told your toxic for long enough and you start to believe it.

One of his biggest fears had always been turning out like his father. Combine that with his checkered past and it didn’t exactly make for the perfect parent. He slowly ran a hand down his face and looked around the room again. The kid had left few things behind. A hoodie, one of his text books, and a pair of headphones. One top of that he’d left his bed half made. Tony didn’t stop himself from smiling fondly.

He might not be fit for parenting just yet but he had some time still. And the thought of Peter ending up anywhere else? Nah, that idea sounded even worse. Was that selfish? That he would rather take the chance of runing Peter than to send him anywhere else with any other family? Another wave of fear spread over his thoughts.

“I need to call Rhodey,” Tony mumbled, grabbing his phone and hurrying off the bed. He headed straight for his lounge. He already had the numbers dialed by the time he’d made it to the sofa.

“Tony? A little late for a chat isn’t it?” The man asked three rings later. Tony could hear the sleep in his voice and he sighed inwardly. He hadn’t even bothered to check the time. It was almost one in the morning.

“Hey Rhodes, sorry for calling. I lost track of time,” Tony mumble, wondering if maybe it was better to wait until tomorrow to have this conversation.

“What’s wrong?” The other man asked, sounding more alert than before. “I can already hear it in your voice, I know something is up.”

Rhodey knew him all to well. “I’ve got kid problems.”

“Peter? What’s happened?” The other’s voice was grave and low and Tony knew he probably should have expected Rhodey to think the worst. He could already hear him getting out of bed and stumbling around. Much like Tony had during that very first call.

“It’s okay, he’s okay, we don’t need to go into full attack mode just yet,” Tony said trying to put the other at ease. “But his aunt is sick, real sick actually.”

There was a short moment of silence before Rhodey spoke back up. “Cancer sick?” He asked, getting it right on his first guess. “You wouldn’t mention it if it wasn’t serious.”

“Yeah, cancer,” Tony sighed. “She might die, the odds are against her and she thinks...well regardless of what she actually thinks she’s leaving Peter to me.”

“Let me guess, you agreed?” Another perfect guess.

“You know I have to, I didn’t even need to think it over,” Tony said, leaning further back into the sofa. Expect maybe he should have thought it over, maybe he was about to make a huge mistake and fuck up majorly again. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“I’m not surprised, Tony. It sounds like something you would do,” Rhodey said with a short chuckle. “You’re doing the right thing if that’s why you called.”

“Now everyone else I’ve told is shocked and concerned, what makes your opinion so different?” Tony scoffed.

“It’s just a very Tony Stark thing to do, you’ve never backed down from a challenge. I’d say you’ve got a hell of a one lined up. You don’t know the first thing about kids and you’re probably scared shitless. But he’s going to need you and just because it is a challenge doesn’t mean you aren’t ready for it.”

“I’m not scared!” Tony said quickly. More like terrified. “He’s not that kind of teenager, he’s not out running the streets or doing drugs. He doesn’t have behavioral issues.”

Rhodey laughed lightly at that. “Peter? He’s a little Saint. His parents picked a great name. Just don’t overthink this.”

“How can I not?! You know every time I was afraid somebody would tell me they were pregnant? This is a hundred times worse because it’s the real thing! And he’s not even a baby, he’s a kid and-and I could really screw this up!”

“Tony calm down” Rhodey said, picking up on the nearing panic attack. “Take a deep breath and relax. You’re making this into something it shouldn’t be. You don’t need a doctorate to raise a kid. And you already have one so it wouldn’t matter. People with IQ's 10 times lower than yours do this everyday.”

“I don’t know how to do this! He’s...he’s not just...I don’t know how to do this!” Tony frantically stumbled over his words. Talking about it and thinking so heavily about it may have induced a bit of anxiety. Enough that he was struggling to convey himself. How the hell could Rhodey be so calm?

“You love him and do your best! That’s all you gotta do Tony. Use common sense, if you’ve got a problem you’ve got how many people to turn to? Pepper, me, Happy? Even Clint has kids! Google it if you have to. You’re financially stable, you aren’t stupid, you hardly drink any more, and most importantly you want to do this. That’s what counts. Stop thinking you’re going to screw it up!”

Tony stayed silent for a few seconds before he finally spoke up. “You really think it’s okay?” That was the first time anyone had actually been supportive. Of course he’d only talked to Pepper and Happy but it was Rhodey who really gave him hope.

“I don’t think so. I know so. But you have to stop with the self deprecating. That’s not going to get you anywhere.”

They talked for a bit longer but for the first time in a week, Tony ended the conversation feeling somewhat confident. Rhodey had given him the pep talk Tony knew he would. Tony trusted the man to always tell him the truth. He put Tony in check when he needed to, he told him if he was being an idiot, and he told him exactly what he thought of every one of Tony’s ideas. He’d gotten nothing but support from his friend, that had to mean something.

Sleep came a bit easier that night. The other man was right. He had people he could ask if he needed help. And if May did die, well it would be hard but Tony had never turned his back on difficult things. And he wouldn’t ever turn his back on Peter.

**

“Hello Ms Parker, I understand that you’re here to talk about what treatment options are available for you? I’m Dr McBride and this is my peer support specialist, her name is Vanessa Jordan, her primary role is to offer support and help you make the best decisions for you and your family.”

May offered them both a tight lipped smile before sitting down in one of the plush chairs. It wasn’t like any doctor's office she had ever been to. It was more of a consulting room than an examination room. Dr. McBride was an older man, he had to be in his late sixties. But her own primary care physician had promised he was the best oncologist she knew.

The support specialist, Vanessa seemed almost too young. She had warm eyes though and May willed herself to be calm. There was no reason to have anymore anxiety. The hard part was over, wasn’t it? She’d heard her test results and had went over them with doctors. She understood the complicated parts. There wasn’t any bad news left to break.

“It’s nice to meet you Dr. McBride, Mrs Jordan,” May said, giving them both a nod. Vanessa took a seat right next to her while the doctor pulled up a few files on his laptop.

“Before we start can I get you anything to drink? Do you need some water or anything?” Mrs. Jordan asked.

“Oh, uh...no-no thank you, I'm fine,” May said, giving the woman another smile. Both the doctor and the woman gave May a sympathetic look. It made her stomach twist with something she couldn’t recognize. Anger, hurt, frustration? Logically she knew it wasn't their fault, they were only trying to help. But she just wanted everyone to stop looking at her like that.

“I’ve looked over your scans and results and I’m very positive that your cancer is advanced and very aggressive. I’m sure they went over that with you already though?”

“Yes, I spent about an hour going over everything at the hospital. I just wanted to come in and find out what all could be done or what the next step is.”

The doctor nodded before grabbing his glasses off the large desk he was behind. “As you know you’re in stange four, which means that this cancer is now in different parts of your body. So I don’t think surgery is a good option to consider. In fact there isn’t much we can do surgically. But that still leaves radiation and chemotherapy on the table.”

It felt like giving up if she didn't at least make an attempt at some kind of treatment. May cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “When I was diagnosed they said that I could live possibly eight more months if I decided to have treatment. If not I might only live another six months. Is that true?”

The older gentleman carefully folded his arms and placed them on the desk in front of him. “Ms Parker, we as doctors? We can’t tell you when you’re going to die or how long you have to live. We’re not above any higher powers. But we can estimate and we can take a look at pretenages. We look at everyone who we treat for this type of cancer and everyones case is different. But…” He trailed off for a moment. “Out of 90% of people who are treated or who’ve diagnosed, the typical prognosis is they generally live around six to ten months.”

“Are those six months of good health? What happens if I get treatment, treatment makes me sick and my last few months are terrible and I die anyway?” May asked, raising her voice. Instantly Mrs Jordan was there placing a gentle hand on May’s shoulder. “Let me ask you, can you crue this treatment with radiation or chemotherapy? Don’t sugarcoat this or make it sound nicer than it is.”

“No, at this point we can’t cure your cancer,” Dr. McBride said softly.

“Can you guarantee me another eight months or even another full year?” May asked, trying to keep her voice steady. The woman beside her was grabbing a box of tissues from out of the massive bag she’d had.

May wondered how many times she’d dug out tissues from that bag or if she went home every night and thought about everything she’d need to be there when a doctor told someone else they were dying.

“No, Ms Parker. We can’t promise you anything . We can’t tell you or make any promises because we don’t know.”

“I’ve got a teenager at home. I’m all he has. Knowing that bit of information, what would you recommend I do? Knowing how advance this is and knowing that treatments aren't going to do much, what would you do?”

The doctor ran a hand over his chin, scratching at the grey hair growing there, and sighed deeply. He didn’t seem upset or surprised by May’s blunt questions or how she was preceding. “I can't speak for you. But if it were me I would make sure that all of my affairs are in order, I would focus on spending as much time with him as I can, and I’d think heavily about palliative care. “

“Palliative care?” May asked, accepting another tissues from Mrs Jordan even though she had yet to start crying. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Palliative care or comfort care is what we like to refer to as end of life care. Or maybe you know it by the term hospice. There they don’t focus on trying to cure you or treat you. Instead they focus mainly on managing your symptoms, like pain. They are more about meeting your mental and emotional needs. It’s about making sure you’re comfortable.”

May sighed deeply and nodded. She understood what that kind of care meant. She looked up at the ceiling and shuddered. “Then I think maybe that’s the best option for me.”

Mrs. Jordan was digging out all kinds of flyers and pamphlets from her bag and handing them to May. All of them regarding hospice care and other resources she could use. May knew just about everything she needed to. Maybe people wouldn’t understand but she knew in her heart that this was best.

She had to be realistic. It was more than likely that she would die and in a very short time. She wanted to spend as much time with Peter as possible. She didn’t want to be stuck for hours doing chemo and radiation. Her father had had this kind of cancer and she remembered how frail and sick he’d become because of the treatments. What was six months worth if she couldn’t enjoy them with the one person who meant everything to her?

The next appointment the doctor help her make was for a home health nurse from a palliative care center.

As she gathered her things and made her way to the door, the doctor stopped her. “Ms Parker I hope you don’t think I'm out of line for saying this but I try not to measure life in years or months. I know you may not feel like this is much help now, but I measure it in love and laughter and happiness. And how many good memories I shared with the people I care about. And in my opinion, you still have a lot of living to do.”

After that May found herself grabbing as many tissues as Mrs Jordan could give her. She barely had time to pull herself together when Tony called.

“Hello?” May asked, grabbing her cell phone as she walked to the parking lot.

“Did you actually send me an instruction book?” Tony asked. “There are over a hundred things to memorize in here!”

Ah yes, Tony must have opened the notebook. May only laughed lightly before answering. “I need you to bring that back this week. I’ve still got a lot left to write. And be ready, because there will be a quiz on all this. Consider it a parenting crash course.”

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the amazing comments and kudos! I know I'm slow to reply to the comments but I'm working on it! Hopefully you'll like this chapter as well. I hope it turned out well and not like I was just dumping a bunch of ideas out!

It was a little less strange being in Peter’s apartment the second time around. Somehow coffee had become their ritual. It was like a shared common interest that they could both use to hide behind. They could use their cups for distractions when talking was too much.

She had just broke the news to him that there would be no treatments in her future. What was he meant to say? He didn’t have any kind of comeback or sarcastic remark, there was no lecture to be given and no argument to have. So he opted for silence.

“Don’t give me that look,” May mumbled, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t owe you an explanation,” she grumbled. Tony could see the look of worry that crossed her face though. Did she feel like she needed to explain herself?

“Hey,” Tony said as he put his hands up in defense. “I’m on your side here, I can’t make the decision for you. If that’s what you feel like you need to do...well then you have to do what you think is right.”  
Even if Tony didn’t agree.

“I don’t want to be sick, Tony. But I am and I can’t change that. All I want to do is enjoy what time I have left with Peter. I don’t want his last memories of me to be sad. I don’t want him to look back at this year and remember all the time I spent at the cancer clinic or how I lost all my hair or how I never stopped throwing up. I don't want to be so sick that I can’t enjoy him,” May said in exasperation. So she did feel like she needed to explain.

“I’m sorry May,” Tony sighed softly. He just didn’t have the words he needed. He wished he could say something and make this all better but maybe there wasn’t a word out there to use.

“Don’t be sorry if it’s out of pity,” She huffed, turning her nose up at for him just a moment. “I watched my father die of cancer. He was so ill and not just because of the disease. Chemotherapy is hard and it makes you sick and you know he died anyway. That’s not going to be me, I’m not going like that.”

“Okay,” Tony said quietly. “Okay, May, I understand.” Tony rubbed roughly at his temple before going on. “I think you need to tell him. You’ve known for nearly a month now and...we can’t wait forever.”

“I will, I promise,” May said quickly, setting down her coffee. Tony hadn’t even been able to drink more than a couple sips of his. It tasted watery and off today. He was surprised that May had gotten half the cup down. “I’m just working some things out.”

Tony gave her a look but she quickly held up a her hand to silence him. “I’m going to tell him. I just...I haven’t had a day off work yet and I’m tired and he’s been out patrolling every day this week. The timing hasn’t exactly been right.”

“What do you mean you’ve been at work?” Tony asked, his mouth almost falling open. “May, are you still going to work?”

Her face heated up and she quickly jumped from her chair at the kitchen table. “Can I get you some more coffee?”

“What no? I haven’t even finished my first cup, don’t avoid my question!” Tony exclaimed, jumping up out of his own chair. “Do you really think you need to be at work right now?!”

“I have to go to work,” May said tightly. Tony could see how her shoulders slumped though and her expression changed to something more solemn. “Just because I’m sick doesn’t mean the bills stop showing up. It’d be nice but if I want to keep food on the table, the lights on and the water hot I have to work.”

Tony ran a down his face and forced himself not to grind his teeth. “May, are you serious? You don’t think I’ll help?”

“Hey! We aren’t your charity case! I can still work, I told you I’m still feeling good. I’m a little slower than usual but it’s not a problem yet,” May said, grabbing herself another cup while she kept her eyes off of the man’s.

“Are we really going to have this argument right now? I would think that with my status it would be a little easier to accept help from me.”

May’s head snapped up and her eyes narrowed enough that Tony took a step back. He’d clearly said something she hadn’t liked. “I didn’t ask for money, I asked you to take care of Peter. I don’t need you to pay for my medical bills or my rent or my fucking laundry soap. I’ve been doing this alone since my husband died. I figured it out then and I’ll figure it out now. The only thing I ever asked was for you to-”

Tony quickly cut her off by placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a sad look. She had worked herself up so much that she was close to tears. Tony couldn’t help but feel guilty but he knew he would feel even worse if he knew May was pulling 12 hour shifts at the hospital everyday just to survive.

“I’m asking you to please let me help. You said you wanted to spend as much time with Pete as you could. I’ll make that possible! Regardless of what people think, I like to go to bed at night knowing I did the right thing.”

May carefully took her seat back at the table. Slowly she shook her head, giving the man an almost desperate look. “Tony, thank you but I can’t take your money. I just...I’ve got a little more pride than that.”

A dying woman and she still had pride. Tony didn’t know what to make of that but he took his seat as well. He could understand that to some extent. It was hard to ask for help sometimes. Tony had learned that the hard way. And even though she wasn’t asking and Tony was offering, no begging May to accept...he imagined it would still be difficult.

“How much do you have saved up?” He asked and once again her eyes fell to the wooden table top. He knew what that meant. It couldn’t be good.

“I’ve got almost 38,000,” she answered. It surprised Tony a bit, he was sure she would have even less. While it was a very small amount to the man, he understood that he couldn’t base everyone’s income off his own. “But that's Peter’s college fund, I can't touch that. A part of that came from Ben’s life insure and...it’s not a lot but it’s at least two years at a community college.One year at university,”May whispered.

“One semester at an Ivy League,” Tony mumbled and May seemed to slump even further in her seat. “Hey, no, no I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like it sounded.” The last thing he’d never wanted to do was make the woman feel bad about how much she had saved for Peter. If anything she should be proud of herself.

“He’ll get a scholarship and I wasn’t exactly finished saving when I got the news,” he mumbled. Tony almost wished the floor would have swallowed him up right then.

“May, how about this,” Tony started. “I’ll pay for Peter’s college, wherever he wants to go I’ll give him a full ride. But I want you to take that money and live off it for as long as you can. You can’t keep going to work like that.”

May didn’t say anything right away, instead she furrowed her eyebrows like she was truly considering it. She ran her fingers over the smooth surface of the table but didn’t speak right away.

“It’s a solution you know, I’m not giving you any money and I planned on making sure Peter got into a good school anyway. MIT you know,” Tony said, some of his confidence returning. “You said you didn't want treatment, you wanted to be with Peter. Well how are you going to do that at work?”

May nodded slowly. “In a couple months I might not feel well enough, I guess it is a good opportunity. I probably could have just used some of my sick days though…”

“May,” Tony said his tone low and serious. “Let me do this for you. Peter gets into a good school and you can still pay your bills and rent and whatever else you need.”

“Okay,” May said softly, like it was almost painful to say yes. Tony wondered if it actually was. She had been so strong and independent for so long, what was it like to have some of the self sufficiently ripped away? Tony hoped he’d never know.  
  
“And when that runs out, I’ll cover the rest of your expenses,” Tony added quickly.

“No that wasn’t the-!” May started but Tony hurried to speak over her.

“I’m not taking no for an answer!”

“I shouldn’t run out!” May said back, frowning deeply at Tony.

“In case you do!” Tony argued back and May shook her head.

“We’re not talking about this!”

Tony didn't say anything but he was sure his FRIDAY could hack a bank account if he needed her to. “We’ll talk about it later?” Tony suggested and May rolled her yes. Finally it seemed like the air had been cleared of some of the thick tension.

“I need to talk to you about something else. Pete reeds a flu shot and I think it’s a perfect first assignment for you.”

“I’m sorry, what? You’re giving me an assignment?” Tony asked, blinking. The conversation had just taken a drastic turn. One minute it had been about money and now May was telling him that he needed to take the kid to get a flu shot. “Can Peter even get the fu?” Tony asked, tilting his head in question, his own eyes furrowing some.

May pushed some of her hair back and cleared her throat. “In this house we vaccinate,” she stated and Tony’s mouth did fall open that time.

“That’s...that’s not what I was saying a flu shot isn’t really a vaccine,” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

“Just putting it out there” May said, folding her arms again. “Anyway, the point is is that he needs to a flu shot, he still gets sick sometimes and I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Another thing Tony hadn’t known about Peter. But he’d never showed up at the tower sick before, Tony had just assumed that everything was enhanced, even his immune system.

“Where do you get flu shots at? Does he have a primary doctor?” He almost felt more comfortable talking about money. Almost.

“Well since the bite it didn’t seem to make any sense to take him to his doctor when they couldn’t do much for him. Ordinary medicine hasn’t worked on him in since that first week.”

“The first week of the bite?” Tony asked, wanting to make sure he understood.

“Yeah, he was sick that week and I didn’t have any clue what was wrong. His fever spiked so high but nothing I gave him brought it down. Eventually it just went anyway and I thought whatever was wrong had ran its course,” May explained while Tony nodded understandingly.

“Really he doesn’t get sick often but he can still come down with a cold and it’s terrible knowing you can’t do much. As a parent, that’s hard.”

“Alright, flu shots are mandatory. So...that still doesn’t let me know where to take him. You want me to run him by a Walgreens or something?”

“Uh, no, he refuses to go to Walgreens since the last time we got the flu shot there,” May said seriously.

“What’s wrong with Walgreens?” Tony asked almost nervously. What had he missed?

May sighed inwardly before thrumming her fingers against the table. “Well, he’s got a fear of needles. The short story is that the seven year old next to us ended up comforting Peter while he nearly cried.”

“The seven year old was crying?” Tony asked, making a face while May shook her head.

“No, Peter cried. The kid next to us gave him his sticker. So Walgreens is out, but I’m sure you can find a new place right?” May asked with a smirk.

Tony sighed heavily, finishing off what was left of his terrible coffee before grimacing. “I guess I’ll have to.”

**

  
So that’s what brought Tony to his next destination.

“Tony, I’m not a pediatrician. Don’t you think you should find somebody else? What about Helen, she surely knows more than I do.” Bruce said with a sigh.

Tony had went straight to the compound after he’d ended his visit with May. Not without leaving her notebook behind though. Tony had just finished reading what she’d wrote and by next weekend there would be more pages to cover.

“Well, she might but Peter doesn’t know her and I trust you the most. You know how much I trust you don’t you, Dear?” Tony asked, sending an endearing smile towards the scientist. “That and I thought you could do a physical. Nothing extensive, just make sure he’s alright. I was hoping you could take some blood and work on some medicine for him? His aunt says nothing works for him anymore. I think he needs something stronger.”

Bruce opened his mouth to argue but Tony quickly stopped him. “Please Bruce, it won’t take long and you love Peter, you said he was a delight. You can give him the flu shot, take his vitals and come up with some super antibiotics or something, maybe some super Tylenol?”

“Tony...it might take a few months to get something constructed that he can actually take. And you know it's been a while since I practiced medicine, let alone on enhanced teens. I feel a little under qualified for all this.”

“Come on, Banner. You know you’re the smartest person I know and who else can I trust with my k-the kid. The kid. I don’t trust anyone else with Peter.” Tony said quickly correcting his mistake.

He’d almost said his kid. Where had that come from? It was just a small slip up, nothing too serious right? Peter wasn’t his, no.

Bruce raised his eyebrow at the other man but didn’t mention tony’s stumble. “I know when you’re trying to flatter me. And it’s not going to work this time, Stark.”

“Bruce, please? I don’t know anyone else and after his first visit the most you’ll be doing his giving him his yearly flu shot. That’s all I want. Don’t make me beg, you know I hate begging.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes before replying. “Alright, fine, Tony. You owe me though, you truly do this time.”

“Gotcha absolutely, I’m in your debt! I’ll bring him by after class today,” Tony grinned, slapping his hand on Bruce's shoulder before heading out. There, that wasn’t so bad. He was halfway through his first assignment.

He’d already found the kid a competent doctor-pediatrician, whatever teenagers needed. He was already two steps ahead of the game. He couldn’t remember what he’d been so scared of a few weeks ago. Getting a good doctor was one of the most important steps anyway right? The whole parenting thing was coming along.

 

*  
“No way, Mr. Stark. I’m not taking my clothes off in front of Dr. Banner,” Peter said, a defiant look on his face. “We have posters of him up in my school! I’m not doing it!”

“Oh come on, I’m sure he’s not going to ask you to do that! He’s just going to check you over, get some blood, and give you a shot. You’ll be in and out in ten minutes,” Tony insisted while he drove Peter to the compound.

While Tony wasn’t the one who usually took Peter anywhere, he’d decided it would be an opportunity to give the kid a heads up about his flu shot. Happy probably wouldn’t stand a chance of getting the kid to the compound if the teen knew there would be a check up involved.

“No that’s even worse! I hate needles and you just said I was going to get stabbed twice! I know how doctor visits work Mr. Stark. They ask you to get undressed and sit around in a paper gown for almost an hour. I can’t believe you even asked Dr. Banner!”

“Look, there isn’t exactly an abundance of doctors for people like you. Nobody specializes in unique abilities and altered DNA, yet. So unless you want to go back to Walgreens I suggest you deal with Bruce,” Tony said, turning into the Avengers Compound and parking behind the security walls.

Peter didn’t say anything but Tony could see the gears turning in his head. His eyes widened and he looked at Tony. The teen's normally bright eyes held a certain amount of hurt and the man felt his heart ache. ‘That’s...strange.’ Of course Tony never wanted to see Peter hurt but it did something completely different to him when he felt like he’d caused the sadness.

“What’s wrong with Bruce?” Tony asked, trying to get his own feelings in check. He was tempted to forget all about his assignment if it made the teen next to him happy. “I know you don’t like needles but it’s not going to hurt. I know Bruce has those really thin ones, you aren’t going to feel a thing, Underoos.”

“Nothing is wrong with Dr. Banner! He’s just like my idol and the last thing I wanted to do today was have meltdown in front of him” Peter mumbled. “Do you know how embarrassing that would actually be?”

“I know you cried last time needles were involved but I’m positive you’ll do fine. You've had a lot of character growth since then. If you can get knocked out, thrown around, and beat up by New York’s criminals, I’m sure you can handle this.”

“I didn’t cry! I mean I got a little misty eyed but it hurt and the lady did it all slow!” Peter protested. “I just don’t want to embarrass myself you know? It’s bad enough being humiliated at a store, I can’t imagine being embarrassed in front of one of the most renowned scientist of my time!”

“Pete, you aren’t going to embarrass yourself! You’ve met Bruce, beside the whole rage monster thing he’s not a scary guy! He’d probably apologize to you if you got upset. Did I ever tell you the time I tried to get him to give me a therapy session? Nothing you do is going to be worse than what I’ve done in front of Bruce.”

Peter was quite for a few seconds before unbuckling his seat belt. “If I do this can we get Chinese for dinner?” Tony knew he’d won.

“We can have whatever you want for dinner, I’ll even throw in a lollipop if you don’t cry.”

“Oh my God, I didn’t cry,” Peter groaned before climbing out of the car.

Tony had managed to get Peter out of the car and into the compound. He couldn’t help but feel at least somewhat proud of himself. For a second it didn’t look it was going to happen. But that was only part of the challenge.

“Hello Boss,” FRIDAY’s voice rang out through the first floor after Peter and Tony had passed the security measures. “Would you like me to take you to the 6th floor? The team has been made aware of yours and Mr. Parker’s arrival.”

“No, FRIDAY, we’re just going down to the lab to see Bruce. Take us to the 3rd floor,” Tony said, leading Peter to the elevator.

“Right away Sir. But I’m programmed to inform you that Mr. Rogers insists that it’s ‘rude’ to not stop by without saying hello.”

“Great,” Tony mumbled. “Just what we needed, Capsicle throwing a fit about us not visiting.” The man rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. “Pete, we gotta make a quick appearance.”

“We’re going to see the Avengers?” The teen asks, looking up at Tony with surprise.

It was the Avengers Tower, it was where the team spent most of their time. Of course they'd be there. Tony couldn’t lie. He liked it better that way, it made it easier to assemble. And maybe it was comforting to know that they were slowly working out their problems. They were no longer enemies. It took new Accords and a lot of forgiveness on everyone’s part but things were patching themselves together. They were a team again.

Even if Tony liked to roll his eyes at Steve or yell at Clint and Sam to get their feet off the coffee tables. There was a domestic feeling when he was at the compound. He’d been spending more time there himself but when Peter came into the picture he felt it was better to remain at his own tower, where the kid was only a short drive away.

In the beginning the Avengers wondered why Spiderman didn’t live there with them. He had his own room but it always remained vacant and his face was scarce at the tower. While they asked questions, Tony made an attempt to keep the sensitive information to himself. But team wasn’t constructed of average individuals. From their S.H.I.E.L.D experience to their intuition it didn’t take them long to guess who the spider was.

_‘We just thought it was funny. You got a new high school intern around the same time Spiderman fights us in Germany. Nobody ever sees him from 7 to 3 the same time most schools are in session and Peter Parker and Spiderman are around around the same height, don’t you think? Come on Tony, we aren’t stupid. We know it’s Peter.’ Natasha had said to him one morning._

_They had done their research on both Spiderman and Peter Parker. He’d only make himself look foolish if he were to deny it. “Lucky guess,” the man grumbled. “This information is classified, you understand that don’t you? He’s a child, he deserves to have his identity remain a secret. Don’t you think?”_

_Steve had stared at him with a sour disgusted look on his face while the rest of the team looked on with unreadable expressions. Tony had them fight a child and that didn’t set well with anyone, least of all Steve._

That was a whole story in itself. It was a fight that had some lasting memories behind it. Tony was just glad that it was another incident that had been resolved. And while the team was eager to get to know the Spiderling, Tony had made a pointed decision to keep the teen away for a while longer. “Let’s let him get his feet wet before we throw him in head first.”

Tony had taken the kid to the compound q couple timea before but he never let him stay long enough to actually get a full conversation in with any of the Avengers. Maybe he was a little protective. He couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah, Kid, we gotta stop in to say hello. Sadly,” Tony mumbled while he let the AI take him to the 6th floor.

When the two stepped off of the elevator that had taken them directly to the floor’s common room, they were greeted with a common sight.

Clint and Sam had been sitting on the sofa with controllers in their hands playing the newest video game. Steve had been lounging in am armchair reading. Wanda and Natasha were eating at the table in the kitchenette. Tony wasn’t sure but he had a feeling Bucky was somewhere in the building as well. He had a habit of taking off whenever Tony came around.

The group looked up when the elevator chimed and Peter instantly was the center of attention. “Spiderling!” Clint called out, dropping the controller to the side as he got up to see the teen. Clint had always liked Peter and he’d never been shy about expressing it. Tony had a feeling that kid reminded him of his own. Clint hadn’t seen much of his own children lately. The group speculated that there was trouble at home But nobody had even dared to bring it up.

“Hey squirt, where you been? I haven't seen you since this summer, I think you’ve grown another inch.”

“Hey Hawkeye!” Peter said, smiling brightly at the other man. Apparently his doctor fears had been forgotten.

“Clint’s right kid, we don’t get to see much of you. Stark is going to have to come off you eventually,” Sam added. “He’s still learning to share isn’t he?”

“Sorry, it’s not really Mr. Starks fault, I’ve got school and patrolling and decathlon. It gets really busy,” Peter said, giving the group an apologetic smile.

“Hey, Peter how have you been?” Natasha asked with a gentle smile. Wanda shared the same look as they approached, followed by Steve.

“I’m okay! Patrolling is going great and I’m keeping my grades up. Hey Captain!”

“Hey, Pete. It’s good to see you, I think we all wished Tony would bring you around a little more often.” Steve said. “When the AI said you were here I had to make sure Tony brought you by.”

“Yeah, yeah, so we’ve made our appearance. You’re very welcome. But Peter and I are actually here to see Bruce today.”

“Yeah, why?” Clint asked, ruffling Peter’s hair. “How come he can’t stay and hang out? You’ve been promising to let him train with us for ages now.

“I can train with you guys?” Peter asked, his eyes getting wide again and doing that sparkling thing they did when he got excited. He gave Clint a look. The man just had to open his mouth and get Peter all excited.

“Sure you can. Just get Tin Can over here to agree and we’ll break you in,” Sam added, giving Peter his own fond look.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked whipping around to look at Tony. Did and Sam and Clint really not know any better? You don’t just ask to borrow someone’s kid so you can throw them around a training facility for a couple hours.

“Sorry Kid, did you forget about Bruce already? Maybe some other time.” Tony said, shaking his head. “Kid is getting a check up.”

“Really, you should consider it Tony,” Steve said. Tony’s mouth fell open for a moment and he tilted his head at the other in frustration. Steve too, really? “Not just for training!” He quickly added. “I think it’s good for him to get to know us. We’re all a team right?”

“I’ll get right on that Cap, I’ll bring him over next week and we’ll all have a pizza party,” Tony said with a fake smile. Steve just shook his head.

Tony pretended not to notice the way Peter’s shoulders fell slightly and the light in his eyes flickered. Why did that hurt too?

“We can benefit him in more ways than one. Keeping him locked up in Queens all the time isn’t doing him any favors,” Steve started.

Tony could feel his temper raising and he was about to snap at the other man. He hadn’t even been there five minutes and already he was being lectured by Captain America on how to raise his kid.

Thankfully it was Natasha who stepped in to play mediator. “Maybe that’s a conversation best left for another time,” she said, glancing towards the teen who was awkwardly watching the exchange.

“Right,” Tony mumbled, grabbing ahold of Peter’s shoulder and steering him back towards him and further away from Clint and Sam.

“At least think about it?” Steve asked, his expression softening as he looked at the teen in front of him. “A couple days a month won’t hurt.” Natasha nudged him but Tony didn’t let himself get angry when he was physically touching the teen.

“We’ll see,” Tony huffed. “We really do need to see Bruce though. We’re a little pressed for time,” the man said.

“Bye everybody,” Peter said, trying to clear the brief tension. “It was really good to see you.”

“See ya Kid, make sure he brings you back,” Clint said, ruffling Peter’s hair again. Tony resisted the urge to fix the teen’s hair and put all his curls right back in order.

“We’ll catch you later, Pete. Don’t be a stranger,” Sam added while the two headed back to the sofa. Natasha and Wanda offered a small goodbye and Steven patted him encouragingly on the shoulder.

“We hope to see you around, Peter,” Steve smiled before the two were finally allowed to head back to the elevator that they exited just a few minutes earlier.

Tony stood there with Peter in silence while FRIDAY took them to the 3rd floor where Bruce was waiting for them. It was Tony who finally gave into the pressure to say something.

“Sorry about that, they’re a little overbearing at times. They mean no harm though. Too bad Cap doesn’t know what type of conversations are appropriate and which ones aren’t,” Tony grumbled.

There was something that had happened back on the 6th floor with the rest of the team. It wasn’t that he was angry at them for getting so excited. He wasn’t even angry at Steve for wanting him to bring the teen over more often. Maybe he was right in a way. Tony wasn’t about to admit that but he could see how Peter spending time with them too was beneficial.

But in the darker part of his mind, where he still couldn’t trust fully, he felt a nervous fearful wave come over him at just the thought of leaving Peter with the man who had shoved a shield in his chest. They had worked their differences out, they had forgiven each other, they were working on their relationships with each other. But Tony would never put Peter in harm's way. He’d do anything and everything to protect form every threat.

He just needed to remind that scary cold part of his imagination that Steve was the good guy. The avengers were the good guys, they’d never hurt Pete. They weren’t a threat.

“Did you mean what you said?” Peter asked looking at Tony with question. “About maybe coming over more?”

Tony took a deep breath before exhaling. “Yeah, I meant what I said. I don’t know when but we’ll try to get out here more often.”

“You don’t have to take me if they make you nervous,” Peter said softly. “I know you still think about things.” For fifteen Peter sure was smart. “I don’t ever feel like I’m trapped in Queens anyway, I think those words are kind of contradicting really. Maybe an oxymoron. Besides, I like spending time with you at the tower.”

“Hey, don’t worry about what the adult is thinking,” Tony said, giving Peter a serious look. “We’re working things out. We can trust Steve and everyone else.”

“You’re sure?” Peter asked, his own voice sounding slightly uncertain. Tony knew that he had to have influenced Peter when he brought him out to fight in Germany. He knew that he had impacted the teen’s opinion when he filled him in, when he’d warned him about the rouge Avengers, when he’d tried to teach Peter to fear them.

Tony had never wanted to push his own insecurities and trust issues on Peter. The look the kid was giving him though was enough to let Tony know that he had in some sense.

“I’m positive. Things got rough awhile ago but they’re better now, they aren’t rouge anymore. I wouldn’t bring you here if I thought they were dangerous. The Avengers are always going to be on our side. They’ll never hurt you Pete,” Tony promised.

Peter slowly nodded and Tony knew for certain now that he had to start letting Peter come to the compound more. For his own conscious at least. He didn’t want Peter living the same distrust as Tony sometimes had.

“So you like spending time with me?” Tony asked after moment, laughing lightly. “I’m still your favorite right?” Tony couldn’t explain how Peter’s words had warmed him. That warm fuzzy feeling wasn’t just a myth. God the kid was endearing.

Peter smiled back but he didn’t say anything else, he just nudged the other man playfully. Before Tony could add anything else to the conversation the elevator chimed again and they were being let out.

“Hey Bruce, we hope you we didn’t keep you waiting long. I had to stop in to say hey to the team,”

“Hi Tony, don’t worry you’re no later than usual,” Bruce said, sending the man teasing look. “Hey Peter, how are you doing today?”

“Hey Dr. Banner,” Peter said giving the doctor a nervous smile. Tony noticed how he swallowed thickly like he’d suddenly remembered to be nervous. “I’m doing good.”

“Good to hear, and please, call me Bruce,” The man said gently.

“Good luck,” Tony mumbled from behind the teen. “I’ve been trying to get him to call me Tony for a year now. It’s worse than pulling teeth.”

“Well, in that case take your time,” Bruce said with a kind smile. Peter just nodded and quickly glanced around the lab like he was just looking for the for the paper gown he was sure Bruce would stick him in.

“He’s a little nervous,” Tony said giving Bruce his own look. One he hoped the other man would interpret as, ‘be gentle please.’

“Oh nothing to be nervous about,” Bruce laughed lightly before grabbing a few items off his desk. “Do you want hop up on the table for me? I know it’s not a proper examination table but the medical unit refused to let me borrow one,” he said with sigh. “Maybe next time we’ll just do this in the medbay.”

“Okay,” Peter mumbled quietly before doing as Bruce said. The other man had pulled out a chair for Tony and grabbed himself a clipboard. “So, I don’t have to be naked right?”

Tony closed his eyes while Bruce choked. “Uh, no that’s alright, Pete. I’ll let you keep everything on, how does that sound?”

Tony could see Peter visibly relax at that. He had to keep himself from mumbling, ‘I told you so,’

“So we’ll just get your vitals first. Would you mind holding this under your tongue for me?” Bruce asked, handing Peter a digital thermometer. “You haven’t had anything to drink in the last 15 minutes right?”

Peter shook his head while he slipped it under his tongue and waited. “Hmm, you’re a bit cold,” Bruce mumbled when he’d pulled the thermometer out and read it.”95.9”

“I run a little colder,” Peter explained. Bruce ‘hmmed’ again before he jotted something down.

“I’d feel better about that if you tried to put some extra layers on in the colder months,” Bruce said while Tony was already thinking up what kind of technology he could put into Pete’s clothes that would keep him warmer. If he could put a heater in some spandex surely he could do it to a t-shirt too.

“Alright, let’s get your blood pressure,” he said, slipping a wrist cuff over Peter’s hand. They waited a few minutes before the reading was finished. “That looks good,” Bruce said, mainly mumbling to himself. “Pulse is good too. Would you mind opening your mouth for me?” Bruce said.

Peter hesitantly opened his mouth while Bruce shined a light inside and nodded. Next he looked at Peter’s ears and came to the conclusion that both looked fine. “Alright, now I’m going to listen to your heart, this might be a little cold,” Bruce said as he rubbed at his stethoscope. A few seconds later he was putting the cold instrument up the front of Peter’s shirt.

“Is your resting heart rate lower too, Pete?” Bruce asked, when he pulled the stethoscope away. “It’s a bit slow but your a little cold so I’m not surprised.”

“Uh, I’m not sure,” Peter said, shrugging lightly. “Maybe?”

“It’s okay, you probably wouldn’t know if you aren’t checking it regularly. How about I get your blood sugar and we’ll wrap this up.”

Bruce had grabbed the meter he used for blood glucose readings and reached out for Peter’s hand. “I promise, it’s not bad,” Bruce said when he noticed Peter’s expression. “I’ll be fast,”

Again Peter nodded, opting out of saying anything and instead he silently let Bruce manipulate one of his fingers. The prick was fast and Peter couldn't have been more grateful. Once again Bruce hummed and grabbed his clipboard.

“That’s low,” he finally said, looking at Tony.

“How low?” The man asked, worry creeping into his voice as he got up to look at the numbers on the meter. 58.

“Too low for my likings,” Bruce said. He walked back over to his desk and grabbed the unopened candy bar he’d left there. “Try this Peter,” Bruce said, opening it for him and handing it over. “You need a little more sugar. I’m guessing it has to do with your metabolism. You’re creating more energy but you have to make sure you’re getting enough fuel to balance it out. You’re body can’t run off food it’s not getting.”

“Sorry,” Peter mumbled before taking a bite.

“It’s alright, just make sure you eat,” Bruce said, with another nod. “Tony you heard that, make sure you remember that too.”

“FRIDAY you heard that, make sure you remember to remind me to make Peter eat,” Tony said, glancing up at the ceiling.

“Of course, Sir. I’ll add it to my list of reminders.”

“You’re a mess,” Bruce said but it was gentle enough that Tony knew he was kidding. “Alright Peter, you finish that up and we’ll get some blood and give you a flu shot. After that you’re all done.”

“He’s okay though right?” Tony asked, his voice taking on a more serious tone.

“He’s fine,” Bruce said reassuringly. “I’ll actually know more about his overall health when I look at his blood. But from what I can tell he’s healthy. Despite the lower sugar level. That was a quick fix though. That and it wouldn’t hurt him to dress a little warmer. He might not be able to regulate his body temperature well, Spider DNA and all.”

The rest of the examination went well, surprisingly. Like Tony had promised Bruce used the thinnest needle he could on Peter. It turns that Bruce was a pro at keeping the teen distracted while he filled a few vials of Peter’s blood. They talked about science and Tony watched the kid carefully for any signs of discomfort.

Afterwards, like promised, he gave Peter his flu shot. “I’m not sure how well this will work but it can’t hurt him,” Bruce said, tossing the syringe away and pulling his gloves off. “Next year I’ll be able to make something more compatible for him. This vaccination is made for an average biology.” The doctor carefully placed a bandaid over Peter’s arm and smiled at him again.

“Well, as long as it can’t hurt him,” Tony said with a slight frown.

“No, the worst this will do is just not work,” Buce explained, resting a hand on Peter’s shoulder as he climbed off the table. “I’ll take a look at his blood samples later this afternoon. I’ll get a better idea of his physiology and with that I can start working on emergency medications that will work for him.”

“Emergency medications?” Peter asked, raising an eyebrow at the two of them.

“It’s better to be safe than sorry,” Tony said. “If you get sick we’ve got something for you.”

“What happens if I need a blood transfusion?” Peter asked suddenly.

“You better not ever need a blood transfusion,” Tony said with an even deeper frown. “Don’t even think about getting hurt like that.”

“Yeah but I was just curious! What happens if I need blood, can I use anyone’s blood or does it not work like that?”

Both Tony and Peter looked to Bruce for an answer. The man hesitated before answering. “My best suggestion, like Tony said, is to try very hard not to lose a large amount of blood quickly. I don’t imagine your blood cells are going to accept any non genetically altered cells. A transplant is out of the question. Try not to worry, your enhanced healing will probably work overtime to make up for any blood loss. As long as you aren’t losing major amounts.”

After that bit of disturbing news, Tony and Peter thanked Bruce before leaving the compound. Tony was certain of one thing, he never wanted to find out what would happen if the Kid did start bleeding out. It was something he wouldn’t let happen.

Finally after a long day, Tony drove them back to Tower. He was quickly reminded of the Chinese dinner Tony owed him. The older man was quick to oblige. After all the events of the day, he couldn't help but think sitting around the living room eating orange chicken and watching a movie with the teen sounded pretty good.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the all comments and kudos and bookmarks everyone left! It means so much! Sorry again for any mistakes in advance! I hope everyone like this chapter, I know it's a slow burn but I really wanted just a bit of softness before the story line picked up!

“Looks pretty good doesn’t it?” May asked as Peter and her stepped back to look at the glowing tree. They had strung the lights carefully and hung the ornaments delicately and their work had paid off.

“It’s pretty,” Peter said turning to look at the woman with a smile. “We did great this year.” It had taken twice as long with all the pictures May insisted on taking but the end result was a beautiful evergreen with glittering tinsel. And maybe a few less candy canes because of Peter’s sweet tooth.

“Do you want to do the honors?” May asked, grabbing the star off the coffee table and handing it over to the teen.

Putting the star on top of the tree had always been something special to the Parkers. It was only their second Christmas without Ben and it was still a little bitter sweet. But Peter smiled warmly again and nodded.

The teen latched himself onto the wall and climbed up until he was level with the tree. May laughed before grabbing her phone and taking another picture as he added the last ornament.

A little over a month ago she would have scolded the boy for climbing the walls with his shoes on. But lately those things didn’t seem to matter anymore. She wished that she hadn’t spent so much time worrying about the little things. She wondered how many moments she had missed out on because she was fretting over the housework or the bills.

Peter slowly climbed down to admire his work next his aunt. Decorating the tree had always been something they did as a family. Usually it left him with a warm welcoming feeling. This year though Peter could sense something was different. He wished he could just brush it off as having one of those off moments.

But Peter had felt that something was wrong for a nearly a week now. His spidey sense, or really his sixth sense, had been thrumming lowly in the back of his head. He didn’t know exactly what the problem was but he could feel that something wasn’t right.

Usually when his Spidey sense kicked in, it was fast and strong. It sent a signal to his brain that said ‘danger, you’re in danger’ or ‘threat nearby, impending disaster, act quickly’ but this was different. This time his sense didn’t indicate that he was in danger or tell him that he needed to be fast with his reactions. It just mumbled to him that something was wrong and that was it. A near silent whisper that he couldn’t help but notice.

Peter pushed the thought away and tried to clear his mind. Maybe Dr. Banner would know more about it or maybe even Tony, surly something had to be wrong with his sense, it needed fine tuning because nothing was wrong. Nothing that he could see anyway. He waited and waited and waited but the threat never came so Peter ignored it.

“Do you think you got enough pictures?” He laughed, glancing at May as she scrolled through her phone again. She had done the same thing this year at Thanksgiving. True it had only been the two of them but with every dish they made she was right there taking a picture and while Peter set the table and while they ate.

“Until we make holiday cookies,” May said with a laugh, “Alright baby, it’s time for bed. We’ve stayed up nearly half the night getting this thing up. Tomorrow is still a school day.”

Peter’s eyes wandered over to the clock and he was a little surprised that it was already eleven. It only been eight when they started, had they really took three hours to put up one tree? “I’m not even tired Aunt May,” Peter said before his body betrayed him and felt himself succumb to a big yawn. “Okay maybe just a little,” he mumbled.

“Mhm,” May hummed knowingly as she pulled him into a tight hug. Something else she had been doing more of. “I’ll see you in the morning okay? Sweet dreams,” she whispered, leaning down some to press a kiss to the top of the boy’s hair. She never wanted to let go. Why couldn’t that moment last forever? Just her holding the teen in her arms under the twinkling Christmas lights.

Eventually though she slowly let go. But Peter didn’t make a move towards his room, instead he stared intently at her. “Aunt May? Is something wrong?” He finally asked, his voice low and strained. “Not that I don’t love hugs, it’s just...are you alright?”

It would take three words, I have cancer, to get that weight off her chest. To finally be free of her burden. And it only take all of two words to destroy Peter’s life, no matter how true they were. ‘I’m dying.’ But that truth would come eventually, why did she think she could keep hiding this? Was it really making the situation any better?

She opened her mouth to speak but no sounds came out. Her nephew’s beautiful brown eyes were staring at her with fear in them. His head was tilted just slightly as he waited for her response. And even though she could read the teen’s fear there was something so open about Peter. Something that May knew was trust.

Damn it! Damn it all because she was the adult, she was the parent and she should be able to take away every ounce of fear he had. She had never felt so helpless before. She could tell Peter the truth but could she ever really make it better? No.

‘ _But it’s almost christmas, it’s just a few weeks away. We just put the tree up. Let me protect him for a little longer.’_

“Honey I’m fine, there is something though that I should tell you,” May said softly. “I’m changing my hours at the hospital. I’m going in 8 to 3 now, so I’ll be home every evening,” she said before smiling. “Try not to get sick of me?”

Peter seemed to visibly lighten at the statement. May could see Peter slump some in relief and he sent her another soft look. “Never Aunt May! I’m always happy when you get to be home in the evenings. You’ll be here in the mornings while I’m going to school and in the afternoon when I’m coming home, I’ll never not to get see you.”

“Yep! I won’t leave until after you’ve left and I’ll get home before you do in the afternoon, sound like a good setup?” She asked and Peter quickly nodded.

“It sounds great actually!”

May couldn’t help the wave of sickness that passed over her. Sickness because someday she wouldn’t be there for Peter to come home to.

“Okay, we’re all on board then,” May smiled before ruffling the kid’s hair. “Now really, it’s bedtime. You’ve been up long enough,” she said before ushering Peter to his room. Not without another goodnight kiss though.

When May was climbing into bed herself she tried to keep the tears away. She was certain Peter would hear her and that wasn’t something she needed. She rubbed lightly at her face and sighed. How long had she been up today? No more than usual but her body was exhausted. She felt like she had just worked for three days straight. The Christmas tree might have wore her out. She grabbed the orange pill bottle out of her nightstand and shook out two tablets for herself. She grabbed her water and washed them down quickly. She wasn't use to this kind of exhaustion.

Another thing she wasn’t use to yet was the pain. Because it was always there, some days it was sharp and other days it was a persistent ache but if one thing was certain, the pain was a new constant in her life. The strong prescription would start working soon and it would bring May just enough relief to sleep.

She sighed again before putting everything away and sliding down into bed. She didn’t have the energy to think anymore. So she put her glasses on the nightstand and closed her eyes. It took all of three minutes for her to fall asleep.

**

“I’m telling you Rhodey, the kid is brilliant,” Tony said, spinning around in his work chair. “I got to go to one of his Decathlon meets, I don’t think they asked a question that he didn’t know. He was the smartest kid there.”

It was fairly common for Tony to have James over. Even if he could only convince the man to stay a few minutes, normally they could sit and talk for hours. Rhodes had dropped by see how Tony was doing. The last time they had gotten to talk, the mechanic was on the verge of panic attack about his new role in Peter’s life. Now though he just seemed like a bragging father.

There was a happiness about Tony that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It was almost like watching him discover something new or when he finally solved an equation he’d been working on. His eyes were bright and there was a sense of excitement around him. Almost like a new father, the wore the same prideful look men always got when they took their new baby home from the hospital.

“Hey, Tones that’s great. I’m glad it’s working out. Peter’s a great kid, it’s good to see you spending so much time with him,” he said while Tony simply shrugged but he couldn’t hide the smile he wore.

“You know how it is, somebody has to keep Underoos in check. You should come next time. The kid was surprised to see me there, I’m sure if I brought War Machine with me he’d pass smooth out.”

“I’m not really in the business of making kids faint but I’ll have to come some time. I’ve got uncle obligations to fill right?” He joked while Tony only raised an eyebrow in response.

Before the man could argue, Tony heard his cell phone vibrating loudly against the lab table. “Sir,” FRIDAY’s said. “May Parker is calling, would you like me to answer?”

“I’ve got it FRI, I’ll take it on my phone,” Tony mumbled as he reached for the cell. He was sitting up much straighter now and any traces of humor had vanished from his face. “May?” Tony asked as he held the device up to his ear, listening intently. “Everything alright?”

The volume had been turned up loud enough for Rhodes to hear the woman on the other line, he was sure it was probably a private conversation but Tony didn’t bother lowering the sound any.

“I’m glad you answered, there is a bit of a problem. I’m sorry to call, it’s nothing serious but the school-Midtown just gave me a call. Apparently Peter’s sick and somebody needs to pick him up.”

“Don't worry, I’ll send Happy to pick him up. He’ll take him straight home,” Tony answered. He didn’t look any less tense though. “What’s going on with him?”

“This is kind of where I run into the problem,” May mumbled. “My immune system is sort of in the trash right now. I love him dearly but I’m not very confident that I’ll bypass his flu if I bring him home. It’s a fever of a 101 so I know it’s contagious. I’m sure he’s probably feeling terrible right now. I guess that shot didn’t do anything at all…” She trailed off with a heavy sigh.

“You need me to take care of him?” Tony asked, sounding just like May had told him that most shocking news he’d ever heard.

“Tony I wouldn’t ask but my health is a little compromised. I know I’ve put so much on your plate already. I’m just afraid to get sick, I don’t know how bad it would be or if I’d end up in the hospital.”

Tony’s voice lowered some and the other man could see the resolve leaving his eyes. “What are his symptoms? How bad is it going to be?”

“Well he’s throwing up and the nurse said he was complaining of body aches and chills. I really thought getting him that shot would help but I guess his Spider immune system didn’t respond.”

“He’s throwing up?” Tony asked carefully. “How much?”

“I don’t know Tony, he’s just throwing up. Do you think you could keep him for a day or two, just until his fever breaks and he can come home? I can tell him somebody called in and I’m working a double,” May said and Tony could hear the desperation in her voice. Rhodes could hear it just as clearly. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask but I really can’t get sick right now.”

“Alright, I’ll pick him up and bring him to the tower,” Tony mumbled, getting up from his chair. “You are aware that I know nothing about sick kids right?”

“It’s okay,” May said softly, like she really was trying to comfort Tony. “Just try to keep him comfortable, he whines a little when he’s sick, he might ask you to sit with him most of the time. But it’s not terrible, he’ll just sleep. And I’ll call every hour and you can call me.”

Tony nodded slowly to himself before sighing. “I’ll do my best, if anything I’ve got a medical team, maybe they can offer me some suggestions.”

“And you promise you’ll sit with him? This is the first time I haven’t been there when he’s sick and he hates being sick and I just feel so guilty about not picking him up,” May said and Tony could hear her voice crack.

Tony knew May wasn’t pushing Peter on him. It was clearly hard to be away from the teenager when he was sick and she didn’t seem to be holding up so well on her own end. She sounded like a distraught parent and Tony was sure that if May could be there she would be.

“I promise you, I’ll sit with him and he can whine and sleep all he wants. He’ll be just fine, we’ll manage, you don’t need to worry.” Tony wasn't sure if he’d be alright but he’d make sure Peter was okay.

They ended the call and Tony gave the other a look. He’d almost forgotten about his friend being there. Before he could say anything else James was shaking his head.

“Nope, you’ve got this covered Tones. I was just about to head out anyway, I wish you the best of luck and I’ll check in with you later,”

“I didn’t even ask you to stay!” Tony protested and James held his hands up.

“No, no way sorry Tones I’m out. I draw the line at sick kids. No matter how cute they are if they’re throwing up, I’m leaving and she just said he was all sick and vomit-y I can’t do it.”

“You’re really going to leave me like this! I don’t know what to do!” Tony exclaimed as he followed the other out of the lab. “This is my time of need and you’re just going to walk away from me!?”

“If somebody throws up, I leave, that's my motto!” Rhodes said as he hurried down the hall. “We can FaceTime.”

“That’s the shittiest motto I’ve ever heard! Tony huffed, still following close behind. Really dealing with a sick teenager was not in his scope of practice.

“Tony you know I can’t do throw up! If I see Peter throw up I’ll throw up, I’m sorry! I’ll bring you two some dinner if you want but that’s all I can do for you today.”

They had already reached the elevators and Tony knew there was no way he could talk James into it. “Fine, if you really aren't going to stay the least you can do is find some soup for him. And nothing from a can, you have to find it homemade somewhere,” Tony's said with a glare.

“Yeah got it, as long as I don’t have to hear or see anybody getting sick.”

**

“I don’t feel good,” Peter groaned, shaking his head slowly. Ned was sitting right beside him, trying to rub comforting circles against his back. “I really don’t feel good, Ned.”

“Yeah, I bet. You look like you’re dying,” Ned mumbled. “Do you want to try some more water?”

The two of them were sitting in the sick room together, Peter always thought it was the weirdest place to be. It wasn’t the nurse’s office but instead it was located right next door. The lights were always dimmed low and the weird bed with the plastic mattress was always itchy. There was absolutely nothing comforting about being there at all.

“No, I don’t think I can keep it down,” Peter whispered. Ned had tried to get him to lay down but Peter had refused. He was too afraid that he might be sick again. Instead they sat side by side on the itchy bed together and waited for May.

“Hey, at least we proved the theory about you getting sick right, turns out you can!” Ned said trying to sound cheerful about something.

“You think Flash is ever going to let me live it down?” Peter asked, choosing to ignore Ned’s poorly timed optimism. It just wasn't as considerate as he wanted it to come off as.

“Dude you threw up in front of the whole chemistry class, he’s probably going to remind you up until graduation.” Ned gave Peter an apologetic look, there wasn’t much that could be done about it now. “At least you made it to the trash can?”

Peter didn’t say anything else, he just groaned again and leaned up against Ned. Either the virus would kill him or he’d die of humiliation. Either way though death was coming.

“Hey, don’t worry it’ll be okay,” Ned said softly. “It’ll get better. You’re just sick right now.”

Peter almost wanted to agree. Because really how much worse could it get? Things could only improve from that point forward.

“Hey, Kiddo. I would have been back here sooner but I got held up at the office. How you holding up?”

Peter’s head snapped up and instantly he winced, that did nothing for his headache. But there was no way Mr. Stark was standing right there in front of him. Where was May?! Peter blinked a couple times and then tried to rub at his eyes just to be sure he wasn’t seeing things.

“Peter?” Tony asked when he didn’t get a response. “Hey, kid are you okay?”

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter started slowly. “What are you doing here, I thought Aunt May was coming?”

“She called me and asked if I could take you to the tower for a couple days, somebody at work had an emergency and needed to call in. She’s going to be on doubles for a little while” Tony explained.

“Oh,” Peter said, drawing out his syllables.”You can just drop me off at home, Mr. Stark. I can look after myself,” Peter said, trying hard to keep himself from shivering. Apparently it hadn’t worked very well. Seeing as how the man in front of him was shrugging off his own fleece jacket and wrapping it around his shoulders.

That was so much better. The jacket was soft and warm and it smelt a little bit like aftershave and of course motor oil. He couldn’t explain it but the jacket gave him a sense of safety.

“No can do, Kiddie. I’m under strict orders to take you back with me. I promised May I’d take care of you until her schedule went back to normal,” Tony said. “Hey Leeds, thanks for stepping in,” Tony said, shooting the other teen a grateful look.

“It’s weird,” Peter mumbled while Tony pulled the jacket a little more snug around him. “We really thought her schedule was going to be better, she switched to the day shift.”

“I know, Pete,” Tony sighed. “But she’s covering for someone and I’m sure you’ll be home in a couple days. It’s just like spending the night on the weekends. Come on, let’s get you up,” The man said and Peter absolutely hated how he needed the help up.

Tony kept a firm grip under Peter’s arm with one hand as he pulled him into a standing position. Instantly Peter felt a wave of dizziness come over him and he reached out and latched onto to Tony’s other arm to keep himself from falling.

“Easy Spiderling, You alright?” Tony asked again, this time his expression changed from mild concern to worry. “How long has he been sick like this?” Tony asked, holding Peter just a little tighter as he looked over at Ned.

“Uh pretty much since this morning, he started getting really dizzy in our first two classes. Then he got sick in chemistry and then we came here. So all day really,” Ned explained while he gave Peter his own nervous look.

‘ _Do I really look that bad?’_ Peter wondered. Yeah he was dizzy and felt like death. Like he might actually pass out or throw up and he was so cold and sore...okay he could kind of get why they were looking at him like that.

“Come on Underoos, we’re gonna go to the car and then I’m going to get you in bed,” Tony said gently, giving Peter a moment before he let the boy start walking along by himself. There was almost a dazed expression on his face and Tony didn’t get more than a few inches away from him at any point.

“Alright, Leed’s thanks for your help, I think we got it from here,” Tony said when they made it to his car. The sleek black Audi might not have been Tony’s favorite car but he needed something practical. And something that wouldn’t bring too much attention.

“You’re welcome Mr. Stark, have him text me when he feels better?” Ned asked giving Peter one last smile. “I’ve got to get back inside, there is still a few more classes left. To bad they didn’t let me leave too.”

**

The drive back to the tower had started smoothly. He’d gotten the kid situated in the back seat with no trouble. Right away Peter started to drift off. They were only a couple minutes from the tower when it started to go down hill.

Peter had jolted in the back seat and instantly Tony was glancing back in the reviewer at him. “Buddy, you okay?” Tony asked, not liking the look on Peter’s face. “What’s wrong?”

The teen in the back looked like he wanted to say something but before he could get the words out he was turning his head and retching onto the floor of the back seat. “Oh God,” Peter gasped, sounding pained and miserable before it happened again.

“Oh Shit,” Tony swore in response, it had been the only thing that had come to mind. Apparently that wasn’t exactly the right word choice.

“Mr. Stark I’m so sorry,” Peter said, his voice sounding stained like he was close to tears. “I can clean this up, really I’m so sorry I tried to say something but it just happened too fast.”

“Pete it’s okay,” Tony said quickly. So he could understand why Rhodes wasn’t a fan of sick kids. “I’ve thrown up in cars before, ask Happy. It’s not a big deal,” Tony said, trying to watch the road and Peter at the same time.

“No, Mr. Stark really I didn’t mean to,” Peter sniffled sadly. “Are you mad?” The teen asked as he curled further into himself. “Do you have a napkin, I can clean it.”

Ouch, another one of those heart squeezes. Tony was growing use to the tight feeling in his chest, the feeling he got whenever Peter was upset, hurt, or even sad. How   
could anyone be mad about that? Admittedly it was fairly disgusting but it was an accident. Suddenly the fact that Peter had just gotten sick all over the back seat of his luxury car didn’t really matter. He didn’t understand why it didn’t matter to him but it was something he’d have to question later.

“No, no, no Pete, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it Underoos, we can have it cleaned. I know you’re sick, okay? It’s alright, just relax.” Tony had never been more relieved to see the tower before. He pulled into the back, accessing his private garage before killing the engine.

“You’re sure you aren’t mad?” Peter asked again, sounding so small and vulnerable.The man turned around in his seat and looked at the pale kid in the back.

“Hey, I’m not mad. You didn’t throw up in the orange Audi and that’s the best part about today,” Tony joked, hoping that it might lighten the tension some. When Peter just continued to stare at him with red rimmed eyes, Tony sighed softly. “Kid, it’s okay. It’s just a car you know? It was an accident, they happen and I’m not angry. It can be cleaned, I’m just sorry you’re sick” Tony said, surprising even himself. That sounded extremely paternal even to his own ears.

That seemed to be enough for Peter because slowly he was staring to undo his seatbelt. Tony climbed out of the driver's side and helped him out. Two elevators later and they were back in the penthouse.

“Why don’t you go get changed into some pajamas alright? You can’t sleep in jeans and a sweater,” Tony said, leading Peter to his room.

The kid had absolutely loved the room when Tony had first showed it to him. He’d made the excuse that he’d gotten bored and needed a new project to work on. Even if Peter didn’t seem to buy the story fully, he’d been too happy about the space to call him on it.

It wasn’t overly done but just enough so that it felt like it had been personalized just for Peter. With floor to ceiling Windows, a red theme throughout the room, and some carefully placed technology on Tony’s part, Peter had love it. And strangely enough Tony had loved watching him react. With the New York skyline as the backdrop of the room, it felt almost pointless to add art. But somebody might have added a few posters of the Avengers assembled in a comic book sketch style.

No matter how much Peter loved the room, it didn’t light up his eyes when he stepped in that afternoon. Tony knew the kid was dead on his feet by the way he kept glancing towards the bed. “I know, I know,” Tony said softly before heading straight for the closet. “I promise it won’t take you but a minute,” he said, intent on finding pajamas.

Then there was a new realization. In the corner of the room there was a half full laundry hamper that Peter had forgotten to take down to the laundry service. Tony took a few deep breaths before turning back around. He couldn't be mad at the kid, he was sick after all. Even if he knew that forgetting to bring his laundry down meant it wouldn’t get done.

“Alright, change of plans. I’m going to grab you something of mine that you can sleep in,” Tony explained. “Wait right here.” On the way out, Tony grabbed the teen’s hamper and carried it off.

Maybe it was a little sad to say but Tony owned more suits than pajamas. In the end he settled on a pair of black sweats and an old long sleeved shirt. He gathered everything and headed straight back to Peter’s room. The kid had apparently given up on standing and was instead seated on the edge of bed, looking like he was about to fall over any minute.

“Okay, Kid, I think you’re all set. Go get changed and get to bed, I’ll come check on you in a second,” Tony said, handing off the clothes to Peter and watching as he, with great effort, got up and headed towards the bathroom.

Tony made his way back out to the hall, running a head down his face as he glanced up at the ceiling. “FRIDAY, I need you to contact a car detailer and make an appoint to have the car cleaned. I need Dum-E up here to get the kid’s laundry, and I need you to call Bruce and ask him if he’s got anything Peter can take.”

Tony had grabbed everything he thought Peter would need. A waste basket, a bottle of water and...well what else was he meant to bring a sick person? When he got back to Peter’s room the kid had already tucked himself in and made a makeshift cocoon out of is blankets.

“Pete, you alright?” Tony asked softly in case he was asleep.

“No,” Peter sniffled. “I don’t feel good,” he said again. He rolled over onto his side so that he could face the man.

“FRIDAY, run a scan and see what’s going on,” Tony said, his stomach twisting anxiously. What if it was more than the flu? What it something was very wrong? If somebody like May could get sick what about Peter?

“On it Boss,” The AI said, a second later a blue light flickered from the farthest wall in the bedroom and then the beam of light ran slowly across Peter’s form. “I’ve gathered as much data as I can from my biometric scan. I think you’ll find the results sufficient.”

“Let's have em,” Tony said as he glanced back at the teen.

“According to my diagnostics, Mr. Parker’s temperature is 101.5. His blood pressure and pulse are adequate however his respirations are slightly labored. I believe this to be the cause of sinus congestion. I’m 98% certain that Mr. Parker has contacted this year’s common influenza virus. Also known as the flu.”

Tony heaved a sigh of relief before nodding. There was nothing seriously wrong, just the flu. Still terrible but Peter would be okay, he’d get better. “What’s the recommended course of action?”

FRIDAY paused for a moment, no doubt gathering information, before she responded. “Most doctors would suggest rest, fluids, and over the counter pain relievers and fever reducers.”

Tony could provide rest and fluids but as far as medication went he’d have to wait on Bruce. Who hopefully had something he could try on Peter. “Did Dr. Banner say anything?” Tony asked, rubbing at his temples slowly.

“Yes sir, he said that he would be over this evening with something,” FRIDAY replied. At least he had something! Even if Tony was going to have to wait a couple hours for it. He’d take it.

“You hear that, Bruce is gonna bring you something but you’ll have to hang in there for a little bit longer,” Tony said, smiling sadly at Peter. “Just try to take a nap okay? I’ve got you some water and a trash can. FRI will get the tv going for you and if you need anything you just let me know.”

Peter nodded slowly as he fought to keep his eyes open. He was sure the AI would put the television on but Peter would probably fall asleep in the next two minutes.

“Thanks Mr. Stark,” he whispered, burrowing further down in his blankets. “Will you call May and tell her I’m safe?” Peter asked, his voice starting to slur and his eyelids fluttering.

“You got it, now sleep Spiderling. It’s all under control.”

**

Tony had really considered telling May that maybe this wasn’t a situation he was ready for. He wasn’t at that level of parenting yet. He was a beginner and May was an advanced model.

“It’d be worse though if I sent Peter home only to get May sick,” Tony mumbled to himself. He was sitting on the sofa watching the news and hoping that nothing dire came up. Rhodes had brought a couple orders of soup by, enough that Peter could pick from and he’d already talked to May.

Bruce would be there in a bit and so far Peter had been sleeping soundly for the last few hours. Still Tony couldn’t relax. Every thirty minutes he was getting updates from FRIDAY on the teen’s temperate. It was sitting steady at 101.5 and Tony was starting to panic.

It didn’t look like his fever was going to break on its own anytime soon. “Just wait for Bruce, don’t get nervous now,” Tony said softly to himself. It was already getting dark and he wondered how much longer it would be.

As if on cue though, FRIDAY alerted Tony of the other man’s arrival. “Send him straight up, let him know I’m in the lounge,” Tony said, finally feeling a bit of relief from his anxiety. He'd even considered calling Pepper.

Finally in stepped Bruce, giving Tony an exaggerated huff the minute he came running over. “Tony I told you I don’t know pediatrics! You said all I’d be doing was giving flu shots.”

“Yeah well apparently the flu shot didn’t do shit. He’s running a fever, throwing up, shivering. All the classic symptoms. Do you got something he can take?” Tony asked, giving the man a pleading look.

“I told you it might be a month before I could figure something out for him,” Bruce said folding his arms over his chest. “You’re lucky I work fast.”

“Thank God,” Tony said, running a hand through his hair. “What would I do without you Brucie?” The man asked giving the other a smile.

“He’s not going to like it, I just finished it up today and I didn’t have enough time to make it into a pill form. He’ll have to settle for a liquid. Like a cough syrup almost.” Bruce pulled a bottle out of his pocket. It couldn’t be holding more 6 ounces of dark liquid.

Tony stared at the bottle as something started to dawn on him. Brand new medicine, never tested before. Bruce had just finished it up today. It was made of chemical compounds that the teen would be ingesting and how did they really know if it was safe or not?

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked as he tried to hand the bottle over. “Tony?”

Tony carefully reached out and took the medicine out of the other’s hand. Of course there was no warning label on the back but he turned it over and inspected it anyway. “You know I trust you, Bruce. I trust you with him,” Tony said quietly. Suddenly though Tony just wasn’t sure if the benefits would outweigh the risk.

“I know,” Bruce said, furrowing his eyebrows some as he watched Tony in confusion. “If this is about it being a liquid I’ll have it right next time, you didn’t exactly g-”

“Is this safe?” Tony said, cutting Bruce off. “I mean, how new is this stuff? I can’t let him take anything that could hurt him. How much testing did we do before we gave Cap any meds?”

Bruce tilted his head for a second before a smile broke out on his face. “Is that what you’re getting worked up about?”

“Of course it is! New drugs that aren’t exactly approved by the FDA! I know I called you over and everything but you can’t blame me for feeling a tad uncomfortable,” Tony said. There was an element of guilt behind his words. He had called Bruce over, asked him to hurry with the medicine, and now that he was there Tony wasn’t sure if it was the right move or not. What was he thinking? He couldn’t just make Peter the guinea pig.

“Hold up,” Bruce said shaking his head. “Tony this isn’t new medicine. It has the exact same compound as paracetamol. The only thing I changed was how it’s metabolised and the strength. That way he can take a lower dosage and still get the extra strength he needs. And this way we don’t overwhelmed his liver.”

Tony listened intently as Bruce explained how he had changed the common fever reducer to meet Peter’s needs. But he didn’t know much about medicine or pharmacology, Bruce was better in that area. “You’re sure? We’re not going to like overdose him with aspirin? It’s not going to get him high?”

Bruce rolled his eyes before shaking his head. “No Tony, I promise. It’s just strong medicine in a tiny dose. But he needs it to be stronger. To him it’s the equivalent of two regular strength tylenol. He’s not going to be impaired or in risk of an overdose. It’s the same medicine, I just made it work for him.”

Tony gave Bruce another look before nodding agreement. The other man would never lie and he was smart. Tony had meant what he said when he claimed to trust him. Even with Peter. “Should we go wake him up?”

“I think you should let him sleep as much as he can, just next time he wakes up, give him two tablespoons. He can have it every six hours,” Bruce instructed. “It probably taste terrible but we can’t do much about it. I didn’t really have cherry flavoring laying around,” Bruce laughed. “Maybe next time though. Just have him wash it down with some juice”

“Wait you’re leaving?” Tony asked with wide eyes. “What if he needs you?”

“Uh, he’s got you?” Bruce said with a wry laugh. “Don’t worry, his immune system will take care of this, in fact I doubt he’ll be down for more than two days. You’ve got this Tony,”

“If I call you back will you come?” He asked, hoping that it didn’t come off as insecure. What he didn’t say was ‘if I need you will you help me?’

“Of course I will, Tony. I’d do anything for you and Peter,” Bruce said softly, patting Tony’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’ll be right at the compound, call me if anything happens.”   
  
**

It was one of the most exhausting nights of Tony’s life. He’d hoped that maybe by some small miracle Peter would sleep through it. But right at 11 pm he got the notice from FRIDAY that he was up.

It was his first official sleepless night as a father. At least that was how it felt, even if he wasn’t technically a father and the night wasn’t filled with newborn cries. Instead it was filled with the sound of a fifteen year old throwing up and chanting ‘I’m sick’ over and over.

First it was the medicine. Which Bruce was right, Peter hated. It took nearly ten minutes to convince Peter to take it. And only twenty minutes for the kid to throw it right back up. “Just...okay let’s get you into something clean,” Tony mumbled, not sure how to precede.

Then it was the temperature, Peter was switching from hot to cold so quickly that Tony swore his head was spinning. First he was too hot, which was understandable considering he’d asked for two extra blankets. Then as soon as Tony had gotten one of the comforters off Peter was shivering and whimpering again.

“Come on, you have to drink a little bit,” Tony said trying desperately to get Peter to at least drink half the water bottle he’d handed him. He’d outright refused anything to eat, which maybe was good. But he needed water, Tony was sure of that.

“No,” Peter whined, shaking his head. “I’m sick, Mr. Stark,” Peter said for the hundredth time that night.

“I know, Underoos. I do,” Tony sighed, wishing he could do more, he’d trade places with the kid in a heartbeat if he could. “May will kill me if I send you home dehydrated, just please have a little bit.”

Tony had learned quickly that everything was a fight when Peter was sick. Anything Tony had suggested had been a hard no from the kid so far. He couldn’t even be angry at Pete. Not when he looked so absolutely miserably. The man could feel his heart break each time Peter looked at him, like he wanted Tony to make it all better and he just couldn’t.

When 4am hit Tony was finally able to give Peter another dose of the medicine. It only took five minutes of compromising that go around, it seemed like the teen was wearing down. It had to be from exhaustion, the coughing and shivering alone kept Peter from getting any kind of rest.

The edge of Peter’s bed was where Tony had spent the better part of the night. He’d thought about dragging a chair into his room but Peter hadn’t let Tony out of his sight long enough to get grab one. May hadn’t been joking when she’d said that the teen would want him right there the whole time.

Eventually though Peter’s eyes had shut and his breathing evened out. He still looked pale and small laying in his bed but he didn’t look as tormented as he had an hour ago. Maybe the medicine had finally done some good. Slowly and carefully Tony eased his way up, hardly daring to breathe as he got off the bed. One small foot step in front of the other and he could shuffle his way out o the room.

But he didn’t have that kind of luck.

“Are you leaving?” Peter asked, his voice rough and strained. “I thought you were going to stay with me?” The phrases reminded Tony of just hours ago when he’d said almost the same thing to Bruce.

“What?” Tony asked, wincing before turning back around to face the kid. “No, no Pete I’m just getting comfortable,” Tony said as he slipped out of his shoes. “Budge over, we’re having a sleepover,” he said softly and Peter scooted to one side of the bed and turned the blankets down for Tony.

The man sighed inwardly but smiled despite himself. ‘Clingy.’ He’d have to remember to tell May that Peter isn’t just whiny when he’s sick. He’s clingy too. “I’m right here now, so get some sleep,” Tony mumbled as he climbed back into the bed. This time getting under the blankets and stretching out next to the sick teen. If this was the only way he could get Peter to sleep, well then it was worth it.

“Thanks for staying, M’sorry I’m sick,” Peter mumbled, looking back up at Tony while the man adjusted the pillows some.

“Hey, nobody plans on getting sick, kid. It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened right?” Tony asked. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew those words were hitting too close to home but he refused to think about that. Not when Peter was shuffling closer again.

“I’m glad you’re here, G’night Tony,” Peter whispered as he drifted off. Finally. Finally he had called Tony by his name. Like that, the whole experience was worth it.

“Good night, Peter,” Tony whispered back watching the teen fall asleep. If somebody had told him ten years ago that the most precious sight he’d ever see was the snotty sick kid cuddled up next to him, he would have said they were crazy. But here was, staring down at Peter with so much affection tony wasn’t even sure what to do with himself. He hadn’t know it was possible to care so much about one kid.

**

Tony had only been asleep for a few hours when FRIDAY’s voice woke him. “Sir, Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barton are requesting to see you. Should I send them up?” Her voice was gentle and soft, no doubt she was being mindful of Peter sleeping next to him. All due to his great programming.

Tony didn’t move for a moment, he didn’t speak, instead he just stared up at the ceiling. He was debating on if he truly had the energy to handle them at the moment. He briefly wondered if they would actually leave if he refused to let them in.

“Boss?” FRIDAY asked and Tony knew he’d have to get up.

“I’m coming,” Tony mumbled, sighing when he realized he’d have to once again try to sneak away from the sleeping kid. He wasn’t even sure if it was possible to get up without waking Peter. The kid had glued himself to Tony’s side during the night.

It was a delicate process. Slow and steady, not too fast. Tony had to move inch by inch but Peter was still out cold by the time Tony had managed to get out of his bed. Only when he stepped out into the hall, shutting the teen’s door behind, was he able to breathe deeply again.

“Alright, FRIDAY, send them up,” Tony grumbled, racking a hand through his hair as he tried to straighten out his clothes. Everything was wrinkled and mussed and he was sure he didn’t look much better than Peter.

Tony had went straight to the kitchen to the start the coffee but it was only a minute or so later that he heard the two sets of footsteps.

“Where the hell have you been?” Cling asked sending him a frown. “And why do you look like you’re hungover?”

Tony could feel his eyes twitch at the accusation but he hurried to turn and face the two. “Keep your voice down,” he hissed. “If you wake the kid up, you’re on Spiderling duty until nap time.”

“What do you mean? Peter’s here?” Steve asked quietly as he gave the other man a confused look.

“Yes, Peter’s here. He’s sick, I’m watching him for his aunt. And he just got to sleep a couple hours ago so unless you want the repercussions of waking him up, I’d keep it down.”

“The kid is sick?” Clint asked, pulling a chair out from the kitchen table and taking a seat. “Why didn’t you call us?”

“Why would I call you?” Tony asked grabbing a coffee cup down from the cabinet. He thought for a moment before adding, “Does anyone else want a cup?” He asked fighting off a yawn. What time was it again?

“Today was a training day, you were meant to be at the compound at 6 this morning,” Steve explained, moving beside Tony to grab his own cup.

The man glanced at the microwave clock and frowned. “I’m only three hours late, so you decided you needed to come find me and drag me down there yourselves?”

“When you didn’t answer our calls we figured you’d forgotten,” Clint said. “Cap grab me a cup.”

“Bruce didn’t say anything?” Tony wondered while he poured his coffee, passing the pot over to Steve afterwards. “I called him like three last night.”

“He didn’t make it to training either but he at least he let us know he wouldn’t be there,” Steve added. “What’s wrong with Peter?”

“He’s got the flu, poor kid is miserable. Which is why I want him to stay asleep for as long as possible,” Tony mumbled while he grabbed what he thought was a gallon of milk out of the fridge.

“You sure you want to do that?” Clint asked, nodding towards the orange juice Tony was about to pour into his coffee. “Looks like you’re off your game, Stark.”

“Hey, you stay up with a sick kid all night and see how focused you are the next morning,” Tony said, replacing the juice for milk.

“Been there done that,” Clint scoffed as Steve handed him cup. “Why isn’t he with his aunt?”

Tony stiffened up before sipping gingerly at his coffee. “She had to pick up some shifts at work. So I offered to take him for a bit.”

“How noble of you,”Clint laughed lightly. “I know it’s hard though, nothing worse than a sick little one right?”

“She didn’t want to use a sick day? She works at a hospital, surly they’d understand,” Steve said evenly, giving Tony a look.

“Don’t read into this Steve, she’s just working,” Tony grumbled, not needing the man digging too far into things.

“I’m not, I was just curious,” Steve mumbled, joining Clint at the table. “Do you need anything then? Is there anything we can do?”

“Not that I can think of,” Tony said, raising an eyebrow at the two of them. They seemed fairly comfortable, not like they planned on leaving in the next few minutes. “He could hardly keep anything down last night. But I’ve got high hopes for today.”

“You makin sure he’s at least drinking? Little bodies get dehydrated pretty quick,” Clint pointed out. Tony could only roll his eyes in response but he did make it over to the table with them.

“He’s fifteen, not five,” he sighed, not wanting to admit how difficult it had been for him to get Peter to drink anything.

“Hey, if he’s throwing up it’ll happen quick. This isn’t my first rodeo Stark,” Clint said, smirking lightly at Tony. Like he already knew.

Tony was in the middle of thinking up a response when they heard the sound of footsteps padding down the hall.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, peeking into the kitchen. He still looked just as pale and his hair was a mess but Tony nearly melted at the sight. He’d rolled the bottom of Tony’s sweats up so that he wouldn’t trip over them and the sleeves of his shirt passed his fingertips, making him look younger than he really was. Peter was really making him soft these days.

“Hey, Pete I’m right here, you alright?” He asked, getting up from the seat he’d just taken. “Did we wake you up?”

The teen looked torn, glancing around at the three of them. Tony knew he hadn’t expected to wake up to a part of the team sitting at the kitchen table. “No, I just woke up.”

Tony was surprised when Clint got up as well, joining him next to Peter. “Hey, buddy. I hear you’re sick?”

“Um…” Peter started. He still looked a little out of it but Tony could see the gears turning in his head. No doubt questioning if he should lie or not.

‘ _You hardly said anything besides ‘I’m sick’ last night,’_ Tony thought to himself.

Before the teen could answer Clint was pressing his hand against the kid’s forehead and humming in response. “You’re still warm. Have you had anything to drink?” The man asked as he headed to the fridge.

“No, I um...I haven't felt good,” Peter mumbled. “Hi Cap.” `

“Hey Peter, I’m sorry you aren’t feeling so good. Just try to take it easy, I’m sure you’ll be back to yourself in no time,” Steve answered.

“Tony do you have any ginger ale?” Clint asked as he shifted through the contents of the fridge. “It’s good for upset bellies.”

“Uh, no,” Tony said giving the other a look. What did he think he was doing?

“We’ll you’ve got Sprite so it’s better than nothing,” he said as he grabbed the can and popped the tab before he handed it off to Peter. “There you go, Buddy. Try a few sips.”

Peter glanced over at Tony waiting until the man nodded in response before taking a hesitant drink. Then he took a much longer drink. “It makes my throat feel better,” he answered after second.

“Yeah it always makes my kids feel better too,” Clint said with a soft smile and a gentle ruffle to Peter’s hair.

‘Show off,’ Tony thought to himself. He wasn’t jealous because Clint could get Peter to drink stupid Sprite and he couldn’t. Who gave soda to sick kids anyway!?

“Why don’t you go get your blanket and we’ll watch some TV. I bet Cap will even heat you up some soup for breakfast.”

Okay what was happening.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked hesitantly. He sounded stuffed up and tired but Tony could see a bit of excitement in his eyes.

“Oh yeah, I’m positive. I’ve got nothing better going on today and I think your dad needs a nap,” Clint said, placing a hand on Peter’s shoulder and attempting to steer him towards the living room.”

“My dad?” Peter asked with wide eyes as he looked back at Tony. “You mean Mr. Stark?”

“Barton,” Tony warned, following behind them while Steve was left to finish his coffee and, he assumed, to make soup.

“Right, right, Mr. Stark,” Clint laughed as he continued to usher Peter forward.

**

  
That was how the four of them found themselves that morning. Clint and Steve had opted on the recliners while Tony and Peter shared the sofa. Clint had gotten the teen bundled up and situated him right next to Tony with a bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of him.

Tony wasn’t exactly sure what to make Clint’s behavior. Some part of him was envious he knew that. Peter drank Sprite for Clint and took his medicine and even had a couple bites of soup. Something Tony hadn’t managed last night. 

But the archer didn’t seem to be malicious in any way. He just kept pressing the back of his hand against Peter’s forehead, making him drink his soda, and pulling the blankets tighter around him. And in the end it was Tony who Peter had pressed himself against.

He rested his head against Tony’s shoulder while Tony absentmindedly started to play with Peter’s hair. The man was hardly focused on the movie they had turned on, instead he was letting himself get lost in his thoughts.

Eventually though it was Peter got his attention again. Tony could practically feel those brown eyes staring up at him. “What’s up?” He asked, glancing down and catching Peter’s gaze.

The teen looked like he was starting to fight sleep but something was weighing on him. “You made me get a flu shot and I still got sick,” Peter said with a small frown. “Does that mean I can skip out next year?”

Tony responded by pulling Peter just a bit closer to and sighing deeply. “Go to sleep Pete, it’s nap time.”

It was Clint and Steve who had ended up laughing out loud at the two of them. But just like Tony predicted, Peter was sleep a few minutes later. Tony pretended not to notice the look Clint and Steve had shared.

He wasn’t sure how much softer he could get for Peter but he knew for certain that everyone was starting to notice. What surprised Tony though, was that he couldn’t bring himself to care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for the kudos and the comments and the bookmarks! They really do a mean a lot, they really give me the motivation to keep writing and updating. Also I don't like what May is doing either! But I promise there is a thought out plot behind all this! (Even if this chapter is kind irrelevant)

The days flew by at a rate the mechanic wasn’t use to. It felt like he was just finishing up the leftover pumpkin pie when suddenly Christmas was only a few weeks away. He liked to think he was getting settled with the idea of perhaps being Peter’s full time parental figure. He was still certain it wouldn’t come to that but the idea wasn’t so terrifying.

Peter was spending more and more time at the tower with Tony. Like clockwork, everyday Friday afternoon Happy would drop Peter off at the tower and he’d come running in to find Tony. Tony would never say it but it was one of his favorite things, knowing that Peter would literally dash through the Stark Tower just to find and be with Tony made him smile. Peter wasn’t looking for Iron Man or a genius playboy billionaire philanthropist. He only sought out Tony.

Not only that but he was making an effort to take Peter to the compound a couple times a month. It wasn’t much but it was progress, at least he considered it to be. For a couple hours at a time he’d share the teen with the rest of the Avengers. It got the team off his back, it made Peter beyond happy, and Tony got to go to bed with a guilt free conscious.

Naturally as he spent more time with Peter he started to learn more about him. Not just the big stuff or the semi obvious things, but the little mannerism that made up a person. Like how the kid had an IQ of over 150 but he still managed to lose his sneakers in the tower last weekend. Or how he really loved New York city, not just liked living there or enjoyed it, but had actual love for the people there. And of course how Peter was the kind of person who would pretend everything was alright until they absolutely couldn’t anymore. Like his burdens were a cross to bare.

The silence was a dead giveaway. Tony might not know everything about Peter’s habits but he knew that the kid talked. He talked constantly, Tony knew he even talked in his sleep. But when he was silent something was wrong. When it came to Peter silence was far from peaceful.  
  
Tony had been working on upgrades for Rhodey when Peter came in. The boy had given him a quick hello and a smile before sitting down and starting on his homework. Peter always did his homework in the lab with Tony. Afterwards he’d get straight to work on something he actually wanted to doing. But the kid had been in the lab for nearly half an hour and Tony hadn’t heard a peep from him

“Alright, Kid, what gives?” Tony said, turning around and setting his eyes on the teenager.

Peter looked up form the large workspace and gave Tony a quizzical look. “What?” He asked, setting down his pen and rubbing the back of his neck.

Tony pressed his lips into a thin line before pushing his roller chair closer to the teen. “Don't what me, you’ve hardly said two words since you got here. Now what’s wrong and don’t play dumb, I know something is bothering you.”

Peter’s eyes widened and he started to stumble over his words. “N-No Mr. Stark, really nothing is wrong! I guess I’m just quiet today that’s all! Or I uh forgot to talk but now that you reminded me I can do that again…”

Tony resisted the urge to run a hand down his face. What did the kid take him for? “You forgot to talk?” Tony asked, returning Peter’s questioning look. “Really?”

“Um…” Peter trailed, a strained look on his face. “I’m just thinking about things. Sometimes everyone is quiet right?”

“What are you thinking about?” Tony asked, hunching in some and getting a little closer to Peter as he waited for the answer. He tried to remember what May had wrote down in that notebook. She had mentioned this, Tony was certain because he’d dog eared page for reference.

‘ _He’s not the kind of person who’ll just open up. Peter can be reserved when he wants to be but if you keep asking the right questions you’ll get an answer out of him.’_

Peter sighed softly and grabbed his pen off the table, twirling it around in his hands for a distraction. “Things at home,” he shrugged. “Kind of about May too.”

There were getting somewhere, where Tony didn’t know, but they were getting closer to the answer. If May had told Peter about her health, he was sure Peter would be having a much different reaction to things. “What’s going on at home Kid?”

The teen didn’t say anything for a long couple of seconds before he eventually let the pen fall back to the table and his eyes flickered up to look at Tony. “I’m not sure,” he mumbled sadly. “I think...May is worried about something or she’s upset but she won’t tell me.”

“How do you know something is wrong?” Tony asked, the atmosphere in the room suddenly changed and he could tell this wasn’t petty teenage problems. “Did she say something?”

“She’s just acting different,” Peter said as his eyes fell back to the table. “She's tired, I can tell. And she doesn’t...I’m not sure what the right words are? You know when someone doesn’t have enough energy to do something and you know they don’t? But they keep doing it anyway like they’re trying to prove a point? “

Tony slowly nodded his head, he wanted to be careful about this conversation. He needed to continue with cation. “Okay, she’s tired?”

“It’s not just that,” Peter mumbled. “She keeps digging up old papers around the apartment and she’s just been doing things she doesn’t usually do. Like bringing down a bunch of old stuff from the attic. I think maybe she was trying to gather things she could sell.”

Tony wanted more than anything to clear up that misunderstanding up. Because even if Peter wasn’t aware of it, Tony knew exactly what May was doing. A few weeks ago she’d asked the man if she could drop off a few things.

“ _I just figured it would be one less thing to worry about. I know sometimes items get misplaced after someone passes away. These are important but I didn’t really foresee anyone grabbing them afterwards. They’re his baby books. Pictures of his parents, a few things from Ben. He’ll want these and I want to make sure they aren’t forgotten.”_

May had brought a couple boxes over and Tony had promise he’d look after them. They’d went straight to his personal storage where he knew they would be if anything were to happen. But that wasn’t something he could just tell Peter. Sometimes all he wanted was to yell at the boy’s aunt. She had put them in such a hard position.

“I think we're having money problems,” Peter eventually said with his face beet red. Like he was embarrassed that his small family was struggling and he’d just had to explain it to Tony Stark. Tony who had never one thought twice about money in his life. Tony knew that wasn't the case but Peter didn’t. May’s financial troubles were very real to him. “I asked her and she said that wasn’t it but...I know christmas is coming up and the heating and electric bill are probably high this time of year.”

Tony struggled to come up with the right words for the situation. What the hell was he meant to say? “Well, maybe that’s not it. You know adults have all kinds of problems. Sometimes they keep things from kids because...it’s not a kid’s job to worry about adult things. You’ll have a whole life time to worry about adult issues. I’m sure she’d like to keep you from that particular stress for as long as possible.”

“I don't know how I could not worry. I’m fifteen, I’m practically an adult already,” Peter mumbled, shaking his head. Tony almost wanted to laugh. But he knew the timing was terrible and it was far from funny.

“If she’d just tell me maybe I could help. I could get a part time job or something. I told her that I didn’t need anything for christmas this year, because I really don't Mr. Stark! I’ve got so much already and I’d rather May just be happy for the holidays instead of trying to come up with money.”

“Hey,” Tony said, stopping Peter. “I want you to listen to what I’m saying, okay? It’s not your job to be concerned about every adult problem.” _Really? you’re going to tell Spider-Man not to worry about adult problems? It’s a little late for that._ “Let’s not worry about a part time job right now,” Tony said. Carefully he placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder hoping that he could bring some kind of reassurance.

“But if I can help her I want to,” Peter protested. Another thing about Peter he’d come to find out, was that if Peter felt like he had the ability to help he surely had the responsibility to. He was only fifteen and already he had a hero complex to match Cap’s. Still Tony felt a bit of pride in how willing Peter was to put others first and to do what he could.

“Listen, Pete. I’m sure that May doesn’t want you to get upset about anything. The older you get the more complex the problems are. They take longer to work out and unfortunately things aren’t so black and white anymore. More problems start to merge into the he gray area.”

Peter was just a kid. Of course he was a crime fighting kid, an enhanced teenager who sometimes helped save the city of New York and the world that one time. But he shouldn’t have to worry about money or if his aunt was okay or if he needed to get a job. Out of all the things Tony couldn’t keep Peter safe from, shouldn't he be able to protect him from the smallest most trivial ones?

“I know, Mr. Stark,” Peter said sadly. “But it’s still hard. I lost my backpack again and I couldn’t even bring myself to ask her to buy me a new one. She’s got so much on her plate already.”

What about you Peter? Tony wondered. What about everything that’s piled high on your plate?

“I know you know, Peter,” Tony said, expressing the same sad tone. This was bullshit. By May prolonging all of this it was just making his...the kid worry. Not that telling him would make it any better but at least he wouldn't assume his aunt was heading for financial ruins and that he needed to start looking for employment. “I promise, May will work all this out. And if anything happens you can always talk to me.”

Peter nodded solemnly after a short pause. “Sorry, you probably think I’m being ridiculous.”

“Not at all,” Tony said. “Adult problems like bills, taxes, mortgages, jobs, and all that stuff? Those are probably the scariest ones because...I mean you don’t really know how that stuff works yet but you’re aware of it. So after I get this finished I’ll take you out to get a new bag alright? Then we’ll get some lunch.”

“Mr. Stark you don’t have to do that! Really, it’s not a big deal! I’m just going to have to stop losing them all the time! She just bought me a new one a couple weeks ago. I should have been more careful but I think I’ve got one in my closet that I can use.”

The man laughed lightly before shaking his head, “It’s not a big deal, how much are they? A hundred, two hundred?”

“What!? No! They’re like twenty dollars,” Peter said, giving Tony a look before sinking further down in his seat. “Mr. Stark, you really don’t have to.”

“You’re worried about me spending twenty dollars on a backpack? Trust me, Pete. I think I can afford a twenty dollar bag. Where do you usually get them?””

“There is this place downtown it’s like a small store but they’ve always got this one kind of bag I like. It’s got lots of pockets and a place for headphones.” Peter said almost shyly. “It’s on 50th, where all those little shop are. Imperium Plaza.”

“Alright, little bag shop it is,” Tony said, offering the teen a smile. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get a snack. I think you’ve done enough homework, you can finish it up later.”

“You’re sure?” Peter asked hesitantly. “I can finish it up now.”

“I’m positive, give me about an hour or so and I’ll have it wrapped up down here.” Tony said, sending Peter a nod.

“Alright, thanks Mr. Stark. It means a lot,” Peter said. “And not just the bag or lunch or anything like that. Just um...the talking. It helped.”

God Tony was killing this parenting thing. He could feel himself practically beaming. “Anytime Underoos. I’m always here to offer some insight, now I’ll see you up in the penthouse. Go eat.”

***

When Pepper strolled into the Penthouse looking for Tony the first person she spotted was Peter. Not exactly the person she’d been looking for but there was a resemblance there. The teen was sitting at the kitchen table eating an apple and playing on his phone.

“Hey, Pete,” the woman said warmly. She had really taken to the teen in the last couple of months. He was polite and always offering to help her around the building. Not only that but he was kind and cheerful, Peter brought a lot of life to the normally cold tower. “What are you doing out there by yourself?”

“Oh hey Ms Potts!” Peter said smiling at the other. “I’m just waiting on Mr. Stark. He’s down in the lab right now but he said he’d be done in an hour maybe.”

Pepper nodded and pulled up a chair to next to him. “He does get busy doesn’t he?” She said. “What are you guys getting up to today?”

“Mr. Stark is taking me to get a new backpack and then I think we’re going to get some lunch. Do you want to come?” Peter asked.

“I’d love to but I’ve got a full day. I’m actually just stopping in to get Tony to sign a couple things but if he’s working it can wait. You must be lonely by yourself up here.” She knew what it was like waiting on Tony Stark. One hour could quickly turn into five. Or he’d forget all together.

But so far Tony had been doing a good job. She knew she had scolded him when she first learned about the situation. She had almost been convinced that Tony couldn’t do it but when Peter was around she seen a whole new side of Tony. Something softer and warm. He was completely paternal, a little clueless at times but he was figuring it out. She was proud of him.

“Oh okay, maybe next time Ms. Potts,” Peter said. “I’m okay, I mean it’s a tiny bit boring but it could be worse,” he said with a shrug.

With Peter becoming such a constant at the tower, Pepper couldn’t help but want to get to know the teen more. He was a bigger part of Tony’s life and she thought it might be good to bond with him some. “Hey, Pete? I’m going to run some errands, I need to head to the bank and then I thought about stopping to get some coffee. Would you like to join me? We’ll be back before the hour is up.”

Pepper could see a bit of hesitance in Peter’s eyes. She didn’t blame him, they didn’t know each other too well. She was still somewhat of a stranger to Peter but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to change that. Peter needed as many people in his corner as he could get. “Oh uh, you’re sure we’ll be back before Mr. Stark is finished? I don’t want to him to think I ditched him.”

Pepper laughed again, her eyes twinkling some. “It shouldn’t be a problem, we’ll go make a quick stop at the bank and I’ll grab us something hot to drink. Tony should be about finished by then.”

Peter nodded enthusiastically as he slide off the bar stool. “Sounds good Ms. Potts, can we get Mr. Stark some coffee too?”

  
**

“Sir, there is an incident in Queens that needs to be addressed.” FRIDAY said, her voice coming through the workshop and snapping Tony out of his concentration.

“What kind of incident?” He asked, rolling away from the desk and staring at the hologram of the breaking news report she pulled up for him.

“There was an explosion downtown, a gas leak was the cause however the fire has now spread to the surrounding stores. The threat is currently at a level 4. The Queen’s fire department, police department, and ambulance services are on currently on site however they might need assistance with rescue efforts.”

“I’m on it,” Tony said. “What’s the location?” He asked, already calling a suit to him.

“It’s located on 50th street in the Imperium Plaza,” FRIDAY said.

Tony had heard that name before. That had been the place Peter was talking about. He furrowed his brows some as he moved his finger across the map FRIDAY had pulled up for him. “FRIDAY, can you inform Peter of the situation.”

“Boss, Peter isn’t in the building. He exited the tower nearly thirty minutes ago.”

Tony could feel his heart start to race, it felt like his blood had all gone cold. Surly Peter wouldn’t have left without him right? He looked at the map again, his eyes scanning over every store that was listed in the directory. Luggage and More. That had to be the place Peter had been getting his bags at. It was only a 20 minute walk.

Tony hadn’t bothered to ask any more questions. Instead he was running to his launchpad and taking off into the clear afternoon sky. Peter didn’t have any other reason to leave. And he had seemed so put off by Tony buying him a new bag. What if he’d been in the store when the explosion happened?

“Sir, you’re heart rate is abnormally high. You’re on the verge of a panic attack,” FRIDAY said.

“Yeah, no shit FRI,” Tony snapped, navigating the sky until he seen the smoke. Instantly he dived down. “What’s the damage on the buildings?”

“80% of the stores have sustained damage and 20% of the buildings have been damaged beyond reasonable repairs.”

“Are there any reports of casualties?” Tony asked as he hovered right above the scene. Of course FRIDAY had been right. It was bad. Even though the plaza was fairly small most of the stores were already engulfed in flames.

“There are four casualties. They were all located directly inside the explosion zone.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony started, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest. He needed to stay clear headed. If Peter was there he needed to be collected enough to save him. But the fear of losing the teen was starting to cloud his judgment. He couldn’t lose Peter. “Scan for life forms inside the buildings.”

Below him police were directing people. Some officers were leading people to ambulances, some were assisting in medical relief, others were keeping the crowd back and away from danger. The firemen were working to put out the large flames but they didn’t seem to be making much progress. Tony could feel the heat from the fire rising and the smoke was starting to obscure his vision.

“There are three people trapped in Sherry's Flower Shop and two trapped in Luggage and More. However the scans picked up deceased life forms in both stores as well as at the restaurant Randall's Cafe.”

Tony made a beeline for Luggage and More, flying through what was left of the shattered glass doors and into the fire. Tony had been in fires before, he knew the suit’s limits and if he was correct he might have a full 20 minutes before any major issues started to occur.

While the suit was fireproof it wasn’t meant to withstand long periods of extreme heat. After so long the electronic system would start to shut down, then the manual cooling. “FRIDAY! Tell me were they are,” Tony instructed, looking around the building. The smoke was so thick it was hard to get a visual but everything around him glowed with an orange red hue.

“Sir, my scans indicated that they are 12 feet to your left in a storage closet. The door is unlocked.”

Tony couldn’t remember a time he’d moved so quickly before. However, when he did pull the door, his heart sank. Two young store employees were huddled together, coughing and gasping for air. Neither were Peter.

He acted purely on instinct, grabbing one in his arms and flying them out of the building to safety. He returned as soon as the first victim was delivered to the paramedics. Next he did the same for other employee. They hadn’t looked to be in great shape but both had been alive and coherent. A good indicator that they’d recover.

“FRIDAY what’s the status? Are there any other living victims in the building?” Tony asked, already knowing she had scanned earlier.

“No, boss. The fire department was able to rescue the other three occupants at Sherry’s Flowers, the threat has been lowered. However, there are still deceased individuals in the back of the store.

 _No, no, no, no._ Tony thought to himself, shaking in the suit as he forced himself to move. No, please not Peter. His throat felt thick and his eyes stung. Because part of him was sure that _his kid was there_.

Peter had gotten tired of waiting for Tony. Because that was what Tony always did, he made people wait. And so he’d walked there himself and surely...he wouldn’t have had time to get out, not even with his sixth sense.

His kid was there. Tony should have been there, he should have been with Peter. It was his job to keep him safe and again Tony had failed. He was meant to protect Peter.

He felt sick. It almost felt like the only thing he could do was sit down and wait. He’d wait right there in the fire. He’d wait in the smoke and flames until the very end.

But he pushed onward. It wouldn’t make sense that Peter would be behind the employee only doors but Tony wondered if maybe the explosion had occurred and Peter was trying to help get people to safety or if he’d gotten scared and had tried to find a back exit.

Was the teen scared when it happened, was he hurt...did it hurt?

The bodies were there huddled together under a large table. The emergency exit had been blocked by the fire, all three of them had appeared to die from smoke inhalation. All were wearing the same black uniform as the other two employees. They just looked as if they had fallen asleep like that.

The only thing Tony was aware of though was how none of them were Peter.

The man stood motionless for a moment before he rushed to get the other three out. Despite not being able to save them, Tony understood the importance of never leaving anyone behind.

When Tony excited the burning building for the last time, he carefully set the final victim down on a stretcher were a paramedic and a police officer loaded them into the back of an ambulance. The police officer, an older man with greying hair looked over his shoulders at him. “Thank you,” he mumbled, before climbing inside the ambulance and shutting the doors. At least Tony knew these people would have some kind of dignity, they wouldn’t be a spectacle for the pubic.

A sleek red car came to a screeching stop right outside the safety barricade seconds later. The man knew exactly who the owner of the car was. He’d expected Pepper Potts to come running out from behind the driver's side, what he hadn’t planned on was Peter frantically climbing out of the passenger seat and running towards him.

“Tony, what happened?! I came as soon as we got the call,” Pepper said, trying to be heard over the commotion.

“Mr. Stark that’s where I get backpacks, that’s the store I was telling you about!” Peter said, looking close to frantic.

He didn’t know how to explain it. It was like the feeling you got when you missed a step on the stairs but you somehow find your balance. It was the sensation of avoiding a catastrophe by mere seconds. The relief that came over him was so strong Tony didn’t know how he’d managed to stay on his feet.

Peter was staring directly behind him at the scene. His lips were moving and Tony knew he was saying something but he wasn’t listening. Without a second thought he stepped out of the armor and pulled the teen to him.

He had never understood the meaning of happy tears until just then. He kept his eyes from watering up any further but he knew that if he let himself he might cry. Tony held Peter tightly to him, one hand resting on the back of his head while the other kept him crushed against his chest.

“Mr. Stark? I didn’t think we did hugs?” Peter asked, his voice muffled against Tony’s shirt. Tony never wanted to let go ever again. He just wanted to keep Peter right there in his arms where he knew he was safe.

“We do hugs now,” Tony mumbled, resting his chin on the top of the kid’s head. “I figured we could start phasing them in.”

“Is everything okay?” Peter asked, blissfully unaware of the people that didn’t make it out. “Ms Potts and I were getting coffee and then FRIDAY called and said you were at the scene of a gas explosion?” Peter's said after Tony finally decided to let him go. Tony continued to keep him at arms length though, not caring that people were taking pictures or that there were news reporters.

“Everything is okay now Kid,” Tony said gently. It was okay. Peter was safe and Tony could finally breathe again. His chest had loosened and his hands had stopped shaking. It was like getting a second chance in a sense. Even though he’d never lost Peter, Tony would never forget how he felt when he thought he had. “I want you to go wait in the car for a minute.”

“Are you sure, maybe I can help somehow? Did everyone make it out okay? I uh...I didn’t bring my suit.”

“It’s alright, kid. Everything is under control. Now go wait for me okay? I’ll be there in a minute, I need to talk to Pepper,” Tony said, urging Peter towards the woman’s car.

Reluctantly Peter nodded before making his way back to the vehicle and climbing inside the seat he’d just exited. As soon as Tony heard the car door shut, he wordlessly stepped further and further away from the car until he was sure they were out of super hearing hearing earshot.

“Tony are you okay?” Pepper asked as she followed him closely. Pepper could sense that something was very wrong.

“What were you thinking?” Tony hissed as he spun around to face the woman. He narrowed his eyes and sent her the coldest look he could muster. “Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

Pepper instantly took a defensive stance, she was certainly not one to be yelled at. Especially when she didn’t understand what she’d done wrong. “What are you talking about?” She asked, looking at Tony like he’d lost his mind. “I can see that you’re upset but I don’t know what you’re accusing me of doing anything.”

“Where the hell did you take Peter?” Tony asked, pointing a finger at her and Pepper’s jaw dropped.

“Number one, you don’t swear at me Stark. Number two, I took him out. You were making him wait around in the kitchen all by himself, I thought he could use some company.”

“You took him out without my permission!” Tony yelled. “I had no idea where he was! He-he talked about this bag he wanted and he told me where the store was. It’s that fucking store right there Pepper, the one that’s on fire! Three people were dead, I thought Peter was there, I thought he was dead!”

Pepper’s shoulders fell and her expression mirrored the realization she’d come to. “Tony, I’m sorry,” she said much more softly. “It’s okay, he’s okay. I just took him to the bank with me and to get something to drink.”

“You don’t take my kid / _anywhere_ / without telling me first. I didn’t know where he was,” Tony said again. “I had to go in that building believing that Peter was one of the people who didn’t make it. You can’t just take him somewhere and not tell.”

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Pepper said again. “I wasn’t thinking, I should have told you. But it’s okay, he’s alright, he’s safe,” she said gently, taking Tony’s hand in hers. “Just breathe, he’s fine.”

Tony didn’t respond but he didn’t yell again either. He knew it wasn’t her fault. Well, not fully. She should have said something, even a text would have been better than nothing. But she hadn’t intended for it to reach the level that it had. Tony glanced back at the car. Inside Peter sat safely, unharmed without a scratch on him. “He’s safe,” Tony sighed after a few seconds had passed. “That’s all that matters.”

“I promise I’ll never leave with him without telling you first,” Pepper whispered, giving the man an apologetic look.

Tony just nodded in reply. He was angry but more than anything he’d just been afraid. As the situation started to defuse so did his emotions. “Can you just get him home while I clean this up?”

“Of course,” she said squeezing his hand again before taking off.

Tony had meant what he said. Despite everything, the only thing that he actually cared about was Peter. He was safe, he was alive, Tony hadn’t pulled his body out from the under the table in a back room. No, instead he’d pulled someone else's teenager out.

That night Tony would get to go home and he’d see Peter there eating pizza in his pajamas while he laughed uncontrollably at some movie. He’d be able to pull up his room’s surveillance and watch him sleep soundly through the night. In the morning Tony would watch the kid stumble out of his room, his hair would be a curly mess and his face would be soft with sleep. But it would be the most heartwarming sight he would ever get to see.

While Tony got to do all those things, there was another family out there would be grieving the loss of their child that night. All because of a gas pipe that malfunctioned. Rather it was luck or a miracle, he’d never take a moment with the kid from granted again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys!! Your support has been amazing! I'm sorry it's taken me so long on answering comments but I'm trying to do better! Anyway, I just want to thank you all again! I wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for all you who are reading!!

“What’s that?” Ned asked as he looked over at the fluorescent blue paper Peter had been holding.

“Brandon invited me to his party,” Peter said as he slide the paper across the lunch table. “I didn’t know people actually gave out invitations anymore. Weird huh?”

“Dude!” Ned shouted excitedly as he grabbed the paper in his hands, holding up to read it clearly. “No way! You got an invite?”

“I actually don’t think it’s an invitation really, it’s kind of more of an announcement,” Peter mumbled, poking at his square cafeteria pizza with his fork. It looked terrible but he was hungry and the whole super fast metabolism made it somewhat impossible to skip meals. “I don’t know, either way he handed it to me and told me I could come.”

“Brandon McBride?” Ned said as he continued to stare at the paper in awe. “Peter, he’s actually a cool kid. He’s like part of the hierarchy, like literally popular.” The other teen muttered as he shook the paper for emphasis. “We have to go.”

“Did you read it or just gawk at it?” Peter teased, taking the paper back. “Yeah, Brandon is cool and all...and he’s kind of nice but it’s on Thursday and it’s-you know, a house party. May isn’t going to let me go to this.”

“Peter!” Ned said with a tone of exasperation. “We have to go. How many parties do we get invited to? Uh, let’s see...none!”

“But I didn’t really…” Peter started. Yeah Brandon had handed it to him and told him to come but Peter had the sinking assumption that it was just because he’d made the news with Tony. Three different stations had covered the fire at the plaza and each reporter had commented on Peter and Tony’s hug. “It’s just because...of what everyone seen on the news. He’s not being genuine about it.”

“Hey, if he handed it to you and told you that you could come that’s good enough for me. Come on, use your publicality to our advantage!” Ned said grabbing onto Peter’s shoulder and shaking it lightly. “Please, Pete? I’ve never been to a party and it’s at Bandon’s house, you know his parents are rich.”

“Mr. Stark is rich,” Peter dead panned. “Can’t we just go to his house?”

“You know this is different!” Ned all but whined. “We might never get this chance again. I’d like to go to at least one party before I graduate.”

“Ned, it’s a school night. May isn’t going let me go,” Peter mumbled sadly. But it was true, he was lucky that she even let him get in a couple hours of patrol on the weekdays. A party was pushing it.

“Uh, just ask Mr. Stark then? He’s kind of the boss of you now too isn’t he? Tell May you’re spending the night at the tower and then ask him, he’s not going to tell you no. He probably goes to parties all the time!”

Peter opened his mouth to protest but Ned sort of had a point. Somewhere in that whole statement there was a fragment of a point. If anyone would give him permission to go out on a school night, it would be Tony.

In reality though, there were only two people in Peter’s life who actually gave him permission to do anything. Asking Tony was a safer bet then asking May. “There is a 30% chance that Mr. Stark is going to say yes to me, you know that right?”

“Okay, ask him and if he says no sneak out?” Ned suggested and Peter’s mouth fell open again.

“Right, Ned. I’m just going to sneak out of the tower. A highly secured tower that has its own artificial intelligence programmed into it. One that alerts Mr. Stark of everything that happens. Nobody enters or leaves the tower without FRIDAY knowing.”

“For me?” Ned asked gently, his eyes getting wide and sad. Sort of like a puppy and Peter had always had a hard time saying no to his very best friend.

“Man, this doesn’t sound like it’s going to work at all,” Peter said with a sigh and a shake to his head. “This sounds like a super bad idea.”

Ned didn’t respond, instead he wordlessly grabbed the cellphone sitting next to Peter and quickly put in the password.

“Ned! What are you doing?!” Peter hissed, nearly knocking over his lunch tray to get to his phone. But Ned was slightly quicker, instead he held the phone out of Peter’s reach. “Seriously?!”

Peter hurried to look around the lunch room. While everyone seemed to be distracted, he used his reflexes to grab the device back, but it was too late, Ned had already sent the text to Tony. “Can I please stay over Thursday...happy face.” Peter said, reading the message out loud.

He sighed and buried his head in his hands. “Ned, I can’t believe you, I never said I was going to do it!” Before he could finish his argument though his phone chimed.

‘ _Sure thing Spiderling. Pick you up after school.’_

“Phase one is in motion,” Ned said with a grin. “Come on, it’s not going to be nearly as hard as you think it is.”

As it turned out, it really wasn’t as hard as Peter thought it was going to be.

**

His aunt had been more than happy to give him permission to spend the night with Tony. That had never been an issue at all. And like Tony had promised, he was right on time after school.

Asking was by far the hardest part of it all. Because while Peter was hopeful, he was also realistic about the situation. The teen had carefully planned it out, he’d wait a couple hours, until closer to eight when the party was meant to start. He’d run it across Mr. Stark and then if the answer was no he’d wait until later in the night to even try to sneaking out.

There was a plan and even if Peter felt guilty about it he was starting to believe more and more in himself. Ned had promised it’d only be for a few hours and it wasn’t like they were going far across the city. He could totally do this. He just had to be smart about it. And do whatever it took to not get caught. Peter briefly wondered why he didn’t just sneak out of the apartment, it would be much easier than trying to get out of the tower.

He watched as the man grabbed two boxes of left over take out from the fridge and dished them out onto plates. “Hey, Kid, come here for a second,” Tony said, nodding towards Peter.

‘ _Oh god he knows, he knows what I’m thinking! I’m already in trouble and I didn’t even get to ask first!’_ Peter thought frantically to himself as he practically dashed over to Tony. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” Peter spoke up, his voice cracking some. _Nice. That really helped._

“What?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow at him as he placed one of the plates in the microwave and added a few minutes to the timer. “I never said you did,” he said slowly before he he crossed his arms. “Did you do something wrong?”

“Uh, no...no sorry! I just, you sounded kinda aggravated and I thought maybe you might be?” Peter tried, his mouth feeling dry as Tony stared at him with suspicion.

“Are you implying you did something to make me aggravated?” Tony asked, narrowing his eyes some as he stared Peter down, almost like he could see the truth if he looked hard enough.

“Nope,” Peter said as he quickly shook his head. “I promise, I haven’t done anything! I just wanted you to know that,” And he hadn't done anything wrong so it wasn’t a lie. Not yet anyway. ‘Don’t blow it before you even ask.’ He shifted from one foot to the other before adding, “Are you aggravated?”

Tony’s poster eased some and his expression softened. “A little bit but not at you,” he confessed. “I’ve got a team debriefing tonight at the compound. I tried to push it back until tomorrow but Cap’s on my ass about it.”

“A debriefing? About what?” Peter asked, his thought switching from parties to missions. “Did I miss something?”

“Not much, a man with a robot attacked Manhattan for about five minutes this morning. It was nothing serious and Wanda and Vision handled it before it even hit the news but Spangles is having a fit and says I gotta be there,” Tony explained as he took the first plate out of the mic and put the next one in.

“How come I didn’t hear about it?” Peter asked, feeling a little disappointed and hurt that nobody had filled him in. Of course, weird things always seemed to happen to New York.

Usually if it was big Peter knew about it. Or even if it was small time crime, that was kind of his thing. He couldn’t exactly control what happened during school hours though.

“The guy barely got to use his homemade laser before Wanda had him apprehended. Nobody got hurt and there was zero collateral damage. So really, it wasn't big news at all. But we still have to ‘talk’ about it according to Cap. So I’m gonna have to leave you here for a couple hours tonight, are you going to be okay? I know I said movie night but I can’t get out of it,” Tony mumbled and Peter winced, he actually sounded remorseful about it. Did Tony really think it was a big deal to miss movie night? “I’ll make it up to you though.”

“It’s alright Mr. Stark, I understand! I’ve got lots of homework I should probably get done anyway. How long are you going to be gone for?” Peter asked. Tony had just made everything a lot easier. But the guilt was loaded.

“I shouldn’t be too long, maybe three hours at the most. Cap likes to drone on and on. That and I think Pepper is going to come and try to help me clean up that little mess on the news from the other day.”

“Oh you mean how everyone took a picture of Iron Man and his ‘mysterious child.’ That mess?” Peter asked with a light laugh. “Don’t worry Mr. Stark, Flash is currently trying to convince everyone at my school that I somehow photoshopped it all and then sent it out to the news myself. Like some kind of really articulate conspiracy theory.”

“I still don’t like it, you’re a kid, they shouldn’t have used the picture. And it was tasteless do it at the scene of disaster like that,” Tony huffed, pulling the second plate from the microwave. “Nobody has been giving you any trouble right, no reporters, no harassment?”

“No, not that I’ve noticed. But you also made Happy drop me off and pick me up all this week. I don’t think they had a chance to harass me,” Peter said.

He sometimes sympathizes with paparazzi and reporters looking for the next big story. Tony hates them but Peter knows they’re just trying to do their job. He’s still surprised by how many people would want a terrible job like that though.

“Good, you’re lucky that’s all I did. Pepper insisted I’d make everything worse if I sent security to your school. But don’t think I didn’t think about it,” Tony mumbled while he grabbed both plates and headed towards the living room. “Let’s go eat before I have to take off.”

So Tony had made it simple for Peter to leave. He wouldn’t have to ask, all he’d have to do was make sure that he made it back before Tony did. Which would be around eleven thirty, only because the time it took to the get the compound was a little lengthy.

Still Peter couldn’t help but ask a couple times just be sure, only it didn’t leave the best impression on the other man. “You’re not scared of being here alone are you?” Tony asked. “Because I can take you with me. You can’t exactly be part of the meeting but you can check out the compound while I’m there. We’ve got wifi, if anything you can keep yourself busy on your phone for a while. You’ve still got your room there so it won’t be too boring, for you at least.”

“No! Uh, no no I’m good Mr. Stark! I was just making sure,” Peter mumbled before finishing up his fried rice.

Tony gave him another questioning look before letting it go. “Alright, Pete, I’ve got to head out but you’ve got FRIDAY. She’ll let me know if you need anything. I’ll see you in a few hours,” Tony said, ruffling the kid’s hair as he grabbed his sunglasses. “Happy, you ready?” He asked calling out to the other man while they both walked towards elevator.

“Bye Mr. Stark bye Happy! I’ll see you later!” Peter said waving at them while Happy shot him an odd look over his shoulder.

And like that they were stepping into the elevator and Peter was almost home free. Now all he had to deal with was FRIDAY.

He waited until he was sure the pair had left the premises before he spoke up. “FRIDAY?” Peter asked with just a hint of nervousness.

“Yes, Peter?” The AI responded. “What can I assist you with?”

“Um…” Peter started. He grabbed the plates off the coffee table and took them to the sink. For some reason he wasn’t exactly eager to ask his question. “Does Mr. Stark have any...restrictions on me? For like when I’m here?”

FRIDAY paused for a moment before speaking back up. “Can you be more specific Peter? Boss has implemented many restrictions on you.”

“Great,” Peter huffed before grabbing a Sprite out of the fridge. “Like, do I have curfew? If I left the building for awhile would you have to tell Mr. Stark?”

“There is a protocol in place that instructs me to alert Mr. Stark if you leave the building or are not in the building during the hours of 8PM to 8AM from Friday evening to Sunday Morning,” FRIDAY said in her most professional tone.

“What about tonight though, like if I left tonight would you have to tell Mr. Stark?” Peter asked hesitantly.

FRIDAY sounded just as hesitant as Peter had when she responded. “I would not unless I speculated that your safety was being compromised.”

“Okay,” Peter drawed out. He popped the tab on his soda and took a long drink. So far so good. “So if I told you I was going out from 8:30 to 11:00 would you have to tell on me?”

If AI’s could sigh Peter’s sure FRIDAY would have already done it by now. “No, technically speaking I do not have to alert Mr. Stark of your departure unless he specifically ask me to do so.”

“Perfect! Okay FRIDAY I’m going with Ned. Please please don’t tell Mr. Stark okay? I’m only going to be gone for a couple hours! I promise to be back before he even gets home.”

“I’d like to inquire where you’re going Peter before I answer. It’s imperative to Boss that you stay safe.”

“Oh it’s just a party at a friend’s house,” Peter answers almost suspiciously. Could AI’s lie?

“Very well, Peter. I will not share this information unless specially asked.” FRIDAY said as Peter practically bounced around the room.

“Thanks FRI, I have to go Ned is waiting on me!”

**

Even though Peter was sure he was in the clear, it still felt wrong. “I didn’t really lie to anyone,” Peter mumbled to himself as he knocked on Ned’s door. Then why did it feel so wrong?

Ned had it easy though his parents were out on a date night and wouldn’t be home until after midnight. Peter had only made it out of the tower by sheer luck. As he waited on the other teen, Peter chewed his lip nervously. What was the fun in going to a party if you constantly feared getting caught? Was it meant it be exciting or thrilling because it was none of those things for Peter.

“Are you ready?!” Ned asked excitedly as he yanked the door open.

“Uh, mostly?” Peter mumbled, wishing he wasn’t so anxious about the whole thing. “You know I have to be home by eleven, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know! Don’t worry, we won’t be out any later, I promise,” Ned said, grabbing Peter’s sleeve and pulling him away from the door. “Just relax and at least try to have fun.”

When they got the house both Peter and Ned were slightly taken back. For a start the house was extravagant. Not like being at the tower or anything but compared to what Peter was use to, it certainly looked expensive. Not only that but there were cars lined up from one end of the street to the other. “I think this is it,” Peter said as he watched a group of high schoolers enter the home. “Should we just go in?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Ned said back, almost dragging Peter up the walkway. Peter didn’t know what he expected to be on the other side of that elegant door but what he got was far from anything he’d imagined.

The party had only started an hour ago but already the living room was trashed. The music so was loud that Peter’s ears instantly started to ache from the sound. Kids were everywhere, some he recognized from school and some he didn’t. The house was packed though and he quickly recognized the smell of weed coming from somewhere in the back. Top it all off, Peter really doubted that the red cups everywhere were filled with soda.

“Ned?” Peter hissed as his friend looked around with interest. “This is not good,” Peter mumbled. “If anyone catches us were going to be grounded forever. People are drinking!”

“Peter, calm down man. You fight off criminals on the daily, we can handle this.” Ned said as he gave Peter an obvious look. “Yeah, I hear that happens a lot at parties.”

“We are not the party type, in case you haven’t noticed,” Peter said, hoping Ned could still hear him over the music.

“But we could be!” Ned added as he lead Peter further into the house. “I swear, nothing bad is going to be happen. Look everyone else is here!”

Peter sighed in defeat but Ned was right wasn’t he? He was Spiderman and it wasn’t like they were breaking the law. Or at least Peter wasn’t. It would be okay, he could deal with this for a couple hours. Even if his ears hurt and the smell of smoke made him feel slightly sick. If anything got out of control Peter could put the suit on and tackle the situation. Everything would be just fine.

“Parker!” Yelled a voice somewhere behind him. “Glad you could make it!”

Peter whipped around and instantly spotted Brandon, the teen who had invited him. This was his house that was getting destroyed and he seemed pretty unconcerned about it. Maybe even happy about it. “You can help yourself to the kitchen, dude! It’s stocked!”

“I think he means alcohol,” Ned said, nudging Peter. Obviously.

“Thanks!” Peter yelled, waving briefly at the other before he pulled Ned down closer to his level. “Come on Ned, we’re going to go look for actual soda.”

***

“Tony,” Steve snapped. “Are you paying attention?”

“You’ve been talking for over an hour, you lost me a long time ago,” Tony mumbled, debating on letting his head smack against the the table or not.

The group of six had gathered around the large conference table, listening as Steve had talked about safety precautions, what could be done to ensure a more secure city, how the team was doing as a whole, and what they should work on.

To be fair everyone looked like they were starting to zone out, Tony couldn’t help the fact that meetings were simply boring and tedious, even if they were lead by Captain America himself. While the group was pretty much assembled, they were still missing a couple members. It’s a little harder for Thor to make it back and forth but that was understandable. Tony didn’t think the others were missing much.

Still, he was a little put out by the fact that they got a pass and he didn’t.

“Tony, this isn’t just about the incident this morning. It’s about team morale and supporting one another. And about communication,” he said, giving the other man a pointed look.

“I know, of course,” Tony said with a mock tone of sincerity, “Please continue. Even though I did say tomorrow worked better for me, I wouldn’t want to interrupt you,” Tony huffed, almost slumping down in his seat. Tony just wanted them to hurry and finish up.

Usually Tony was all for listening and at least trying to bring the team a little closer. There was a point in his life when he wasn’t but things had changed. He had changed and he was truly making an attempt to correct things. Lord knows they needed it after everything that had happened. But tonight he was just far too preoccupied.

“What’s got you in such a hurry,” Sam asked raising his eyebrow at the other man.”We know you usually aren’t this impatient. Close. But you look like you’re about to throw yourself on the floor.”

“I have someone waiting for me at home,” Tony said with a clipped tone. “Some of us have other obligations you know.”

Clint laughed from beside Sam, “Let me guess, he’s 5’6, 120 pounds, and probably sticking to your walls as we speak.”

Tony rolled his eyes at Clint before shaking his head. “Can we just wrap this up?”

“Hey, there isn’t any shame in wanting to get home to your kid,” Clint added with a shrug. “He’s probably waiting on you too.”

“You could have brought him Tony, we would have made an exception for him,” Steve said, his look softening some.

Tony quickly shook his head though. “Not to the meeting,” he muttered. “I’d kind of like to keep him away from the serious business for as long as possible. Right now the training is just fun for him, I don’t want him thinking he’s actually an Avenger yet.” Tony paused for a second before going on. “He just didn’t seem like he wanted to be by himself tonight.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked with a frown. “Did he say something?”

“No, he just wanted to know when I’d be back. He kept asking. I don’t think he wanted me to leave,” Tony admitted with a small frown. “Hence why I’m trying to get back home.”

The group exchanged a look before Sam chuckled lightly. “Sounds more like he wanted you out of his hair for a bit. You know when I was a teenager I needed to know what time my parents were coming home so I knew what time to sneak back in,” Sam added.

“What?” Tony asked, tilting his head and giving each one of them a surprised look. “You think the kid snuck out?

“Well, he wouldn’t exactly be sneaking out if you were gone,” Natasha said easily. “And he is what, fifteen? The safer assumption is that he wanted a time frame so that he could get up to his own agenda.”

“Uh, woah. He’s at home doing school work,” Tony scoffed, holding his hands up. “Why would the kid lie to me?”

“Same reason any other teenager lies,” Clint said with an assumed look on his face.

Tony didn’t say anything for a moment, instead he slowly turned to Bruce who’d been sitting next to him. “Do you think he lied to me?”

“Um, I think he might...have?” Bruce said carefully, knowing that Tony would probably be devastated if it came to that.

“You know, we can settle this right now,” Tony said, standing up and looking at the ceiling. “FRIDAY,” he said turning away from the table. He’d never been so thankful that the AI was connected to the compound and just about everywhere else he went.

“Yes, Boss?” She asked in return. “What can I help you with?”

Tony crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke.“Ask Peter how the homework is coming along?”

The group reminded silent while the AI paused for a short second while she worked on fulfilling that request. “Sir, Peter Parker is not currently in the building. Would you like me to call him, however I doubt he has made any progress on his assignments.”

The group burst into laughter and as Tony’s face fell in shock. “What do you mean he’s not in the building? Is the suit online?”

“Peter Parker left the tower at approximately 8:26 PM, fifteen minutes after you left. However, the suit is not currently in use.”

“And you didn’t let me know because?!” Tony asked, throwing his hands into the air.

“Mr. Parker and I had a brief conversation regarding the restrictions and protocols you had set in place. Then he questioned me on my ability to withhold information from you. Seeing as how there is no designated curfew for Thursday, I was not programmed to alert you.”

“Damn, he did all that? We don’t even know where he went yet!” Sam said between wheezing laughter.

“Oh he did?” Tony snapped. “FRIDAY, did he tell you where he was going?”

“Yes Sir, he informed me that he was going to a party with Ned Leeds.”

“What shoes was he wearing?” Tony asked, gritting his teeth together. That kid would be the death of him.

“Black converse, size 9.” FRIDAY said while the group’s laughter died and quickly settled into confusion. What did that have to do with anything?

“Pull up the tracking system, he’s got a locator in the shoes,” Tony huffed.

“Seriously, you chipped your kid’s shoes!?” Clint asked in slight disbelief.

“After the fire at the plaza last week? Yes, I did chip his shoes, Barton,” Tony said, sending the table a glare. They didn’t know what it was like and he didn’t need to explain anything to them.

“Sir, Peter is 12 blocks from the tower, at 1905 North Hamilton Place. Would you like me set a rout for you?”

“No need, I’ve got it from here” Tony grumbled while Steve tried to settle the room again.

“Tony, I’ll go with you,” Steve announced as soon as the communication with FRIDAY ended. His eyes held that same soft look about them.

“I really don’t need you to do that, Rogers. I can handle it,” Tony said, grabbing everything that belonged to him off the table. “Meeting adjourned right? It’s been lovely everyone but I have to go and find my kid now so if you’ll excuse me.”

“You know if he lived here at the tower with us, you wouldn’t have to worry about that,” Natasha said calmly.

“What are you implying?” Tony asked, spinning around to face here. His eyes held something much different than simple irritation. “That you can look after the kid better than I can? Because I’d think very carefully about how you continue this conversation.”

“Calm down,” she said with a frown. “I mean if both of you stayed here. You’d hardly have to be away from him and someone could always have eyes on him,” She explained while some of the tension drained out of Tony.

“She’s got a point man,” Clint mumbled. “Maybe we couldn’t have visual 24/7 but...well more people watching out for him the better right?”

“I can watch him just fine,” Tony said lowly. There was no anger behind his words though or any trace of malice. But something else stemmed from their words. A deep rooted fear that Tony had been working very hard to bury in the back of his head where every dark self deprecating thought went.

“We know that,” Steve said, clearing his throat. “Let me help you find him, Tony. That way we can at least make sure he gets home.”

“Suit yourself,” Tony shrugged, putting his sunglasses on as headed towards the exit. They didn’t understand the situation, they didn’t get it. Tony was doing the best he could but it wasn’t easy when the kid was Spiderman. It wasn’t as simple as they thought it was when his aunt was dying.

It hurt. Because it did feel like Peter was his. Even if he wasn’t truly Tony’s...Peter was his responsibility, he was his to look out for. And no parent, guardian, or whatever Tony was, wanted to hear that they couldn’t take care of their child.

Maybe that’s not what Natasha or Clint had been implying but in a small way I felt like it.

***

“Are you having fun?” Peter asks, glancing at Ned. “I’m just asking because we’ve been here for like two hours and we haven’t spoken to anyone.”

“Uh, I’m kind of having fun,” Ned said with a small shrug. It was true though, they had been standing near the wall for the entire time and so far the whole thing had been uneventful.

Maybe things would have been different if they actually had the courage to mingle or the desire to drink the alcohol everyone else had been downing all evening. But nobody had approached them and they hadn’t sought anyone out.

“Really?” Peter asked before taking a long sip from his Dr Pepper can. “We’ve just been watching everyone here and I’m pretty sure they're all drunk or high.”

Ned’s expression slowly changed to a sad one as he looked over at his friend. “Okay, maybe it’s not what I thought it would be. Maybe we're just not cool enough?”

“I don’t know man, that doesn’t exactly look like fun.” Peter said, jesutring towards an older boy who had started to throw up inside a potted plant. “I don’t know if I want to be that kind of cool.”

“Maybe we just don’t have enough friends for this type of...social setting,” Ned reasoned, looking at the sea of teenagers in front of him. He couldn’t decide if he was disappointed because they were having fun and he wasn’t or if he was upset because it really didn’t look like that much fun at all.

People were yelling and stumbling all over the place. Things were getting broken. It had been entertaining the first couple of minutes, just to see what the big fuss had been all about. But slowly Peter had started to feel more and more out of place. And he had to admit it, even if he were drunk he wasn’t sure if that kind of fun exactly appealed to him.

Peter shrugged before making a face as someone yelled loudly from the kitchen, something about needing more vodka.

“Maybe you have to be drunk to like it?” Ned mumbled, still trying desperately to find a reason the two weren’t having the time of their life.

Peter stared at him, his knowing look caused Ned to sheepishly shrink down some. “It’s up to you, but I’ve got to be home pretty soon and there’s no way I can do it and not get caught.”

“Can you even get drunk?” Ned wondered out loud. “Or would your body just digest it all super fast and nothing would happen?”

“I’m not about to find out! What if I can get drunk and Mr. Stark finds me passed out in the front hobby? He’d kill me!”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Ned sighed sadly. “Maybe it’s not fun after all.”

Peter was just about to agree when another loud crash came from the front of the room. “Did somebody break a window?” Peter asked looking around, trying to find the source.

“Peter,” Ned whispered, grabbing his friend and spinning him around. “Whatever you do, don’t turn around.”

Suddenly the music cut off and the whole house went silent. Nobody said a word as a familiar voice rang out, bombing and full of authority. “I’m disappointed in all of you.”

“Ned, please tell me somebody is playing one of those PSA’s.” Peter hissed, his eyes wide as he stared at his friend. Ned had joined him and turning around and facing away from the crowd. “Is that?”

“Captain America,” he whispered as his face went a little pale. “Dude, Captain America is here….and so is Mr. Stark.”

“Ned,” Peter started again, his mouth going dry. He wanted to force the words out but he couldn’t quite get his brain to work fast enough. “Ned. I’m in so much trouble. Like you seriously have no idea right now.”

“Just...don’t turn around. Maybe they won’t notice us?”

**

“Great, it’s Cap’s worst nightmare. A room full of drunk teenagers,” Tony mumbled, brushing the broken class off his clothes. Steve had pulled the front door so roughly it had shattered the decorative glass.

“I will be contacting each one of your parents,” Steve spoke up again while 50 plus underage kids gaped at him and Tony. They all stared at the pair like deer caught up in headlights.

“Really?” Tony asked looking over at the other man. “Are you really going to do this right now? You think they’re just going to line up and start handing your their mom and dad’s phone numbers?”

Steve ignored him as he continued to give the crowd the most disappointed look he could muster. “Underage teenage drinking is a serious problem, it leads to-”

“Run!” Brandon McBride yelled and instantly the whole house erupted into chaos.

“No, no, no!” Tony yelled while Steve frantically tried go after whoever was closest to him. Like catching at least one teenager might make a difference. “Do not run!”

“Should we run!? We could try to blend into the crowd!” Ned said, speaking up over the commotion.

“I um..I!” Peter gasped, stumbling over his words as he watched a group of his peers flee towards the kitchen.

“Hey!” Tony yelled and Peter instantly knew he’d been caught. “Don’t move!” The man yelled and Peter slowly dared himself to turn just enough to see the man making a beeline for them. “You two, right there,” Tony said, pointing at the two while he made eye contact with Peter just so he knew.

“Oh my God,” Peter whispered, shaking his head. Like he might be able to shake the nightmare away. “This isn’t happening.”

“You are in so much trouble,” Tony said, coming to a stop right in front of the two. Peter grimaced before turning the rest of the way around. “I had to leave a meeting to come and get your ass, Steve is chasing some terrified sophomore, FRIDAY probably has a complex now, Happy is pissed because there isn’t any parking! What do you have to say for yourself!?”

“I’m...I um...I’m sorry?” Peter started helplessly.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?!” Tony asked, giving the two a look. “You lied to me!”

“I didn’t lie though, I just didn’t tell you what I was doing,” Peter said weakly while kids continued to dash about, ignoring Tony in favor of getting out of the house before Steve called the police for backup.

“You withheld information, it’s the same as lying,” Tony snapped. “I can't believe you Peter, I thought you knew better. What made you think it was okay to leave the tower and come here, May or I would have never agreed to this!”

“I know! That’s way I didn’t tell anyone,” Peter said, shrinking even further. “Not to...not to be dishonest but I just wanted to come here and Ned did too and I knew you’d tell me no and I was going to sneak out but-”

“You were going to sneak out!?” Tony asked, his voice raising in disbelief. “You knew this was wrong because you asked FRIDAY not to tell me! That should have been the first indicator for you! You’ve really screwed up, Kid.”

“I know I screwed up!” Peter said quickly. “But it’s not like that bad of a screw up… It’s not like doing things you specifically tell me not to do? You didn’t tell me not to...”

“I didn’t tell you yes either!” Tony huffed in frustration. “I didn’t specifically tell you not to do this because you went and did it behind my back,” Tony said, narrowing his eyes at the teen. “You knew the answer would be no, that doesn’t give you the right to just not ask and then go do whatever the hell you want because nobody had a chance to tell you no!”

“Mr. Stark I know you’re really mad but can you yell at Peter maybe...like not right here?” Ned asked as he looked at the scene before him.

Neither of the two said anything for a moment before Tony finally pointed towards the broken front door. “Both of you go get in the car.”

“You said Happy couldn’t find parking should we...uh is he just driving around or?”

“Peter go!” Tony yelled before pointing to Seve. “Spangles we’re leaving. If you want a ride you better hurry up.”

**

The atmosphere in the car was tense and Tony was doing all he could to keep himself from yelling at the the teen next to him. Steve had been sitting up front, Ned was to the far left in the back seat and Peter was seated in the middle.

The only thing that kept Tony from losing it was the fact that he did have a heart, even he couldn’t bring himself to yell at the kid in front of Cap. So instead everyone sat in silence while Happy drove.

After dropping Ned off the other four made their way back to the tower. Happy stayed in the lower level while Steve, Peter, and Tony all crowded into the elevator. Peter hadn’t said a single word to him, he just stared at the ground with his head hanging low. He was really making it hard to stay angry at him.

When the elevator chimed and the three stepped out, Tony turned to Steve and sighed. “I need a minute with the kid,” he mumbled.

“Sure,” Steve nodded quickly. “I’m going to go make myself a cup of coffee, just let me know when you’re free,”

“Yeah, I uh...I’ll do that,” Tony muttered while Steve headed off towards the kitchen. Finally it was just him and Peter once again.

“Mr. Stark, you don’t have to yell at me anymore. I get it,” Peter whispered. “I know what I did was wrong,” Peter all but whispered.

“No, I don’t think you do get it,” Tony said, keeping his voice level. “I’m disappointed, because you knew it was wrong but yet here we are.”

“I shouldn’t have went,” Peter agreed softly. “It was stupid, I knew I should have asked first...but I didn’t. It was stupid.”

“Kids do stupid things,” Tony said. “Your brain is lacking that thing that says ‘hey this is bad, let’s not do it,’ instead all you get is the ‘this is bad’ part. And then you do it anyway,” Tony grumbled. “So until your your older and that rational part of your brain starts kicking in, it’s up to adults to make good decisions for you.”

Peter didn’t say anything, instead his eyes flicked back to the floor and his shoulders sagged even further.

“You didn’t think of the consequences tonight,” Tony added. “I’m going to need you to do better. Because what you did there? You closed a line of communication with me and I can’t have that. I need to know that you’ll be open with me. Kid I have to be able to trust you to do the right thing. And you have to be able to trust me to make the right choices for you and to know that whatever I’m doing is in your best interest.”

“I do know that,” Peter said. “I trust you, I know you’re doing what’s best.”

“Right,” Tony sighed. “Whatever you choose to do in life, rather it’s to be an Avenger or not, you have to understand that communication is a must. That’s sort of the word of year at the compound right now. It doesn’t matter if you’re an Avenger or a biochemist or an engineer, you can’t close the communication with others because you don’t want to hear the answer. What if something had happened tonight? I wouldn’t have known. Then where would we be?”

“I didn’t put anyone in danger tonight though, I didn’t mess up like that at least. Not like the ferry incident,” Peter argued half heartedly.

“You could have been putting yourself in danger. You’re lucky nothing happened, you should be grateful that it was a very mundane incident.” A very typical mild form of teenage rebellion. Almost a right of passage really.

“Not mundane enough to keep me out of trouble though,” Peter mumbled. “Are you going to take away the suit?”

“No,” Tony said shaking his head. “I’m not taking it, but you aren’t going to be using it for a minute.”

“Do you know how long?” Peter asked, trying to hide his wince.

“No, but it’ll be a minute,” Tony said. “So I need to go make sure Cap gets back to the compound and you need to go get ready for bed. You still have school tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Peter said but other than that, he made no move to leave.

“That’s your cue to go to your room,” Tony said with another frown.

“Right yeah sorry, to my room,” Peter said sadly as he trudged off down the hall. “Good night Mr. Stark. I’m really sorry again.”

Tony didn’t say anything, instead he just watched the teen head off. He really did need to make sure Cap had a way home or else he’d be there all night.

“You did good,” Steve said the minute Tony stepped into the kitchen. “I uh, I might have heard a bit of what you said..Only by accident of course.”

“Oh sure,” Tony mumbled. He rolled his eyes before heading over to the coffee pot and making his own cup.”Anyway, you want Happy to take you home?”

“If he doesn’t mind too much,” Steve said. “I mean it though, you handled that really well.”

Tony stared down into the dark liquid before looking back at the other man. “You think so?”

“I do,” Steve said as he gave the man a smile. “I know it wasn’t easy but I think he understands now, it’s good for him to have some boundaries and someone that will keep him grounded. You just care about him is all.”

“Yeah, I do,” Tony sighed. He took a seat at the table and motioned for Steve to do the same. “Every teenager does it, don’t they?” He said with a light laugh. “Sneak out and go to parties?”

“I never did,” Steve said with a short frown. “But maybe I’m not a good example of the average fifteen year old.”

“Steve,” Tony started softly. It was like his words were on autopilot and he was losing control of what he was saying. “His aunt is really sick,” he whispered, just loud enough for the other to hear.

“What do you mean?” The man asked, setting his cup down and giving Tony a serious look. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s dying or that’s what the doctors say,” he mumbled. “She’s leaving him to me.”

The two settled into a strange silence after that, it was clear that Steve wanted to say something, his expression was conveying it all though. Confusion, worry, slight disbelief. Tony had already told this story before but it never got any easier.

“Well…” Steve said, running a hand through his hair. “We’ll be there for you and him. I know I speak for everyone when I say you’ve got all our support.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked quietly. In a rare moment he needed to feel some kind of reassurance. He’d talked a lot about communication and the team that night. He wanted to know if he believed his own words.

“Yeah Tony, we’ve got you covered. It looks like you’re doing pretty well on your own though,” the man said. “I think if this had happened a few years earlier I wouldn’t be so confident but I’ve got a lot of faith in you. A lot has changed...still changing.”

“Alright,” Tony said with another heaved sigh. “We don’t need to talk about our feelings tonight.” The man said, he shot Steve a smile despite himself. “It um, means a lot though.”

Tony left out the part how maybe a few years ago Steve’s words wouldn’t have meant anything. Tonight they did however. For the first time in a long time they meant a whole hell of a lot.

“I guess I should be heading back to the compound. They’ll be wondering if everything went well,” Steve mumbled, finishing the rest of his cup.

“Well you scared some high schoolers to death and threatened to call their parents, it went about as well as it could have,” Tony shrugged. “I’ll see you in a couple days though. Maybe I’ll bring the kid around too.”

“I think we’d all like that,” Steve said with a nod before getting up and giving Tony a brief smile and a goodbye.

**

Tony had found himself in his workshop after his talk with Steve. It might have been brief but it was heavy. It was usually how him and Steve communicated though. Simple answers to the tough questions.

His anger had long since worn off but he replayed the events over and over. He hadn’t been too hard on Peter right? He knew he’d taken the suit once before, he wouldn’t make the same mistake.

He wanted Peter to be comfortable with coming to him. Had he lectured him too much, had he yelled just a little too loudly? Had Tony actually done enough? There was a balance between too much punishment and not enough, he hoped that maybe he’d hit the mark somewhere in the middle.

“Sir, Peter is requesting entrance,” FRIDAY said, her voice rang out smooth and calm like it always was. Tony grabbed a rag off the desk and started to clean the motor oil off his hands. He’d only been down there for a little over an hour, surly Peter couldn’t have gotten into any more trouble in that short time span.

“Let him in, FRI,” Tony said, spinning around in his chair as the door opened.

Peter was dressed for bed in an old pair of fleece pajama bottoms and an oversized shirt. His hair was wet and he looked like he’d stepped out of the shower not too long ago. He stood in the doorway sheepishly, like he wasn’t sure how to approach Tony yet.

“What do you need, Spiderling?” Tony asked, fighting back a sigh. He really hoped Peter wasn't there to argue with him. It was a little late for that. And arguing with a teenager wasn’t on his nightly to do list.

“Hey, Mr. Stark,” Peter said as he cautiously stepped into the workshop. “Do you have a minute?”

“For you I might,” he answered easily. He still watched the kid curiously though. Like he was expecting him to start a long rant on why Tony was being unfair or demanding permission to continue clocking hours in the suit. “And it’s Tony,” he added.

“Right, sorry Tony,” Peter mumbled as he shifted from one foot to the other.

It had been something they were working on. Tony would love it if Peter just stuck to his first name but it was harder getting the kid to break that particular habit. The older man still had faith though.

“Something wrong, kid?” He asked, setting down his grease rag.

“I just wanted to apologize again for tonight,” Peter said softly. “I am sorry.”

“I know,” Tony said slouching. “Everyone screws up sometimes, Pete. You’ll be alright.” We’ll be alright.

“Yeah but we have this thing, Aunt May and I? We um...we never let each other go to bed angry. And I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to bed angry at me.”

This kid. Tony felt himself melt just a little. As if he wasn’t already soft enough. But the kid had looked at Tony with his big brown eyes and it was all over. “Hey, I’m not mad anymore,” Tony said, grabbing the chair next to him and sliding it over for Peter to sit down in. “We’re not going to bed mad.”

“Good, cause I was kind of worried,” Peter answered as he sat next to the other man. “I know why I’m getting grounded,” he said meekly . “But if it helps, the party was terrible and I didn’t have fun at all.”

“None at all?” Tony asked, giving the kid a questioning look. “All this and it wasn’t even worth it?”

“No,” Peter laughed. “Ned was the one who talked me into going. Not that I’m blaming him or anything,” Peter added quickly. “But we just stood on the wall all night and drank soda. That and my ears started hurting as soon as I got there, the music was way too loud.”

“Too much for your senses?” Tony asked and Peter nodded in reply. “Sounds about right, you go out of your way, suffer through the sound, end up grounded, and it wasn’t even fun.”

“Yeah, it was kind of terrible,” Peter said with a shrug as he shoved his hand in his pajama pockets. “I wish I wouldn’t have went now. I really thought it would at least be somewhat interesting.”

“There will be more parties,” Tony said with his lips in a thin line. Sadly that was the truth. “And I'm sure you’ll have fun at least one of those. But save it for college, yeah?

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “I’ll save it for college,” he laughed. “But um, I guess I need to head to bed. I’m sorry you had to leave your meeting early because of me. I just wanted to make sure you were for sure not mad.”

“Don’t worry, Underoos. I’m for sure not mad anymore. And it was boring anyway. Like the real kind of boring. So one more time, what did you learn tonight?”

“Don’t withhold information and always communicate?” Peter answered and Tony smiled again.

_Always communicate, don’t withhold information._

“You got it. Just don’t do it again okay?” Tony said, raising an eyebrow at Peter in question.

“I promise, never again,” Peter said seriously. “Good night, Tony,” Peter said while he got back up from the chair. This time though Tony mirrored his actions.

“Good night, Pete, I’ll see you in the morning,” Tony hummed while he ruffled the other’s hair softly. “And kid, it’s a week out of the suit. I think it’s fair seeing as how May was ready and willing to give you two”

“That’s fair,” Peter replied, his voice sounded somewhat disappointed though. Even if he was cute and sweet, Tony couldn’t just lift his punishment all together. “I’ll see you in the morning,” He said before his eyebrows furrowed together again and he spoke back up. “Hey? How did you know where I was anyway?”

“Good night, Pete,” Tony said, waving towards the door. A conversation for another day.

*

That night when Tony crawled into bed the words kept repeating themselves. They made it impossible to relax. _Communication, don’t withhold information._ He didn’t know how he managed to fall asleep at all that night. All Tony could think about was how he was the biggest hypocrite he knew.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments! Oh my God, you guys are perfect. Seriously thank you so much. I never expected to get so many likes or bookmarks. I'm so so happy you guys like this and I'm sorry it took a little longer to get out. But we're getting closer to the end <3

“Tony are you sure that’s a good idea?” Pepper asked as she watched the man check his phone. Her tone was cautious but almost exasperated. “You know everywhere you go you create a hoard of people, they want autographs, pictures, statements. And those are just the fans. You really want to expose Peter to paparazzi?”

“No, I want to take him to the mall to buy a new backpack,” Tony mumbled shortly as he looked over at the woman. “What’s so bad about that?”

“I literally just told you. You go out with him and you’re opening a door you can't just shut,” she sighed, pacing the living room floor in front of Tony. “People are going to talk.”

“Then let them talk,” Tony huffed as he stared at her challengingly. “I don’t see a problem with it. If Peter’s okay with the idea than I’m taking him.”

All Tony had wanted to do that day was take his kid out to get a new bag. Suddenly he was being lectured and judged. Yeah, he understood that Pepper had a good point. There would be pictures, videos, more speculation about who Peter actually was. But could Tony really let that stop him from enjoying the kid?

“When is he coming?” She asked, tapping her foot anxiously against the hardwood. The click click click of her heels reminded Tony of the ticking of a clock. Impatient and never ending.

“He should be here in a couple minutes, Happy picked him up,” Tony answered as his eyes went back to his phone. He wasn’t a father but if he was...if he was Peter’s father he’d be fairly pissed that somebody was telling him that he couldn’t take his son out. Hypothetically speaking of course. His theoretical son.

“And you’re going to explain to him that the kids in his class are going to have questions, people are going to approach him even when you aren’t there,” she snapped.

Tony sighed heavily before closing his eyes for a brief second. “Yes Ms Potts, I am going to tell him that going anywhere with me is hazardous. It could lead to large crowds, flash photography, and moments of prolonged discomfort.”

“I’m just looking out for him,” she said lowly. “You know that.” Then why did it feel like she was trying to keep Tony from spending time with Peter? It felt like she was trying to steal something away from him.

“I know that and I promise you that I can look out for him myself. It’s up to him, if he says yes then we’re going. People know he has a Stark Internship. Can’t I take an interest in my intern?”

“People don’t usually go shopping with their interns,” Pepper groaned and Tony had to force himself not to roll his eyes at her. “You seen the tabloids last week. “Iron Man’s secret son? And that was just from one picture.”

“It doesn’t matter what anyone but Peter thinks. They can assume whatever they want but it’s not going to stop me from being with him.”

What was so bad about that? What if Tony did have a son and so what if he wanted to take his kid out? Of course he wouldn’t put Peter in any position he was uncomfortable with but he needed to hear it from him, not Pepper.

Tony wondered if that was how he was staring to see Peter as. Did he think of the teenager as a son? It seemed almost probable. Admitting that though? Tony didn’t know if he could admit that even to himself but...it was just a harmless thought. Nothing more. They were all just what if scenarios.

“Hey Mr. Stark I’m here! Sorry I was late, Happy was yelling at soccer moms again,” Peter said as he came bounding out of the elevator.

“Now is a good time to ask,” Pepper said, huffing at Tony before turning around and offering Peter a warm smile. “Hey, Pete, how was school today?”

“It was good Ms. Potts. Ned and I got an A on our group project and they finally opened the chemistry lab back up,” Peter said happily.

“What happened to the chemistry lab?” Pepper asked and Tony had to keep his expression neutral, pretending not to know anything about the small chemical reaction Peter had accidently caused. No explosions, just a lot of noxious fumes.

“Don’t answer that, Kid. I’ve got something to ask you,” Tony said, getting up from his seat on the sofa. “Do you want to go to the mall with me? I know you need a new backpack, we never got to pick one up. I thought it would be a nice day to go.”

“Mr. Stark you don’t have to pay for my bag, really! I know you said you would but May gave me an extra 20 this week for my allowance, that’s plenty to get a new one,” Peter said as he looked between Pepper and Tony. They both wore the same expression of warmth and endearment.

“Peter, I promise. Tony buying you a bag isn’t going to hurt his budget any. There hardly is one,” Pepper said softly and Tony scoffed.

“We don’t do budgets here. But if it makes you feel any better we can get you something economical. There is one...small hang up though,” Tony started hesitantly. “Malls are pretty big places,” he said while Pepper continued to look at him.

Peter looked too, he on the other hand seemed a little clueless as to where the conversation was going. “And I can’t promise that we won’t run into photographers or news reporters, they just kind of pop up sometimes you know? Paparazzi are pretty good at what they do. They might put your picture back in the tabloids and then it kind of becomes a thing,” Tony mumbled before clearing his throat. “It’s up to you kid, we don’t have go to if you don’t want to. I can still order you one online.”

“You’re worried about papperizi?” Peter asked before a smile crossed his face. “Oh Mr. Stark that doesn’t really bother me. I just tell everyone that I’ve got my SI internship. Sometimes they don’t even believe me. I don’t care if people think I’m your kid or anything...I mean unless you do!”

“See,” Tony said proudly, giving Pepper a pointed look. “He’s not bothered by what the media says,” Tony folded his arms across his chest while Pepper rolled her eyes at him.

“Okay, Pete, go grab a snack from the kitchen and I’ll meet you back here. I need to go grab a jacket. Speaking of which, where is yours?” Tony asked.

“Uh, I accidently left it at school,” Peter said, his voice laced with embarrassment. “But I was in a big hurry because I knew Happy was coming and he doesn’t like to wait and Ned kept asking me when we were finishing the Lego Enterprise and...I just kind of forget about it.”

“I thought you were working on the death star?” Tony asked. “And that’s not the point, you know you can’t keep yourself warm very well. You don’t want to know what happened to Cap when he went out in the cold without a coat,” Tony joked lightly. Really though it worried him when Peter was out in the cold without any layers on. It was New York and even though the weather wasn't freezing it was still cold and Spiderlings couldn’t thermoregulate.

“Oh no, we finished that a long time ago,” Peter said matter of factly as he shook his head. “Now it’s Stark Trek stuff. I know I know, I’m sorry. Maybe I can stop by the apartment and grab one?”

“It’s alright, Kid, I've got something you can put on. Just go grab something from the fridge. When we get back I’ll order something to eat. And not the donuts, that's not food it’s pure sugar.”

“Did you just tell him not to eat donuts? Wow, you’re more of a parent than I thought,” Pepper laughed as Peter headed straight for the apples and string cheese. “So you think it’ll be alright?”

Sometimes Tony wondered how safe it was for anyone to really be around him. Not just because of the online articles or the gossip magazines. It would be easy for someone to target Peter just for his affiliation with Tony. But nobody, Tony decided, would be stupid enough to ever hurt or take Peter. Tony promised they wouldn’t live to talk about it.

“I think it’s going to be just fine,” Tony said. “If you were really worried about us though, you could have some catering delivered. He’s a growing Spider Baby you know, he’ll be famished by the time we get back.”

“Sure,” Pepper mumbled and shaking her head. But Tony could see the smile she was hiding. “Anything in mind?”

“Um, surprise us,” Tony called as he headed towards the other wing of the penthouse. Now he just needed to find a couple jackets for them and they could leave.

**  
As it seemed, Pepper worried for nothing. The mall was busy but the worst thing that had happened were a few cell phone pictures. Other than that, the two went unnoticed for the most part. Tony speculated that it was because everyone was caught up in holiday shopping. That and reporters didn’t usually tend to hang around malls just to see who would stop by.

And usually it would never be Tony. He didn’t shop at malls, normally. he’d be found at higher end stores. Places were designers worked and everything was a couple grand and up. Spending money just for the brand was something Tony didn’t think twice about.

But Peter was exactly the opposite. The mall seemed to excite him. He was transfixed with the Christmas lights and the music. Even Tony had to give it to the place, the decorations were done nicely. A giant tree in the food court, tinsel and garland everywhere. Peter loved it.

“Let’s see, where’s a good place to start?” Tony asked, looking around the massive store. He really was bad with the whole public shopping thing. Maybe that was something he could work on in the new year? Live a little more normally, shop at malls, go grocery shopping. For Peter’s sake.

“This way, I know a store,” Pete said confidently as he guided Tony towards the elscators. Right before they could reach them though Tony spotted one of the longest lines he’d ever seen.

“What is that about? He mumbled mainly to himself, he stopped walking for a moment just so he could figure out what everyone was waiting for. And then he spotted it, at the end of the line was ‘Santa’s Workshop’ It was just a line to see an old man dressed in a Santa outfit. But damn if it wasn’t long. “You sure you don’t want to stop and see Santa first?” Tony asked with a smirk as he pointed over towards the elves and Santa himself.

Peter gave him a look like he’d lost it. “You know I’m fifteen right?” He asked with a laugh but Tony knew the kid was starting to doubt him.

“What’s wrong, you don’t believe in Santa?” Tony asked with another laugh as he allowed them to continue making their way towards the elscators finally. “Where is your Christmas spirit kid?”

“Come on Mr. Stark, I haven’t believed in Santa in ages!” Peter said as they stepped off onto the second level of the mall. “That’s all for the itty bitty kids. And those parents don’t look too happy anyway. I bet it’s like a two hour wait.”

“Well you’re an itsy bitsy spider aren’t you?” Tony asked, teasing the teen again as they headed towards a more modern looking store.

The lights were dim and the music was way too new for Tony to know any of it. The beat wasn’t terrible though and it seemed orderly and put together. For a mall store the selection wasn’t horrible. It looked like a place a fifteen year old would shop though, or anyone with a fifteen year old.

“You’re kidding right?” Peter asked, his eyes getting wide as he looked at the older man. “You don’t actually think I believe in Santa right, Mr. Stark?”

Tony laughed lightly before shaking his head. “No kid, I’m just joking,” Tony confessed, deciding to go ahead and lay off the teasing for a bit.

The store clerk greeted them and promised to help if they needed anything. It had been a young man who looked almost starstruck when he realized who was in the store. Tony was familiar with people giving him that look though. He didn’t think anything of it as he started to look around. Finally at the back of the store there was a selection of bags.

“Hey, Pete?” Tony asked as he grabbed a bag down from the wall. “When did you stop believing in Santa,” Tony wondered, inspecting the object and opening up it to look inside. Sadly this one didn’t have a spot for Peter’s headphones.

“Hmm, I was about six I think?” He said and Tony felt himself freeze up some. Peter was only six, what had happened?

“Six? That’s awfully young,” he mumbled. He didn’t think kids stopped believing until they were at least nine or ten. “Did some older kid ruin it for you?” Tony wondered while Peter just smiled sadly.

“Eh, no it was nothing like that,” he said before reaching up to the wall and grabbing another bag off the a hook, a blue one this time. “What do you think about this one?”

“That one is alright, I don’t think the straps are going to be too comfortable though,” Tony mumbled as he looked back at Peter questioningly. “Really though, what happened? Did you catch May putting gifts under the tree or something?”

“No, no not that either,” Peter laughed again but the light started to flicker out of his eyes. “My parents were um...I was six when they died.” He started as he grabbed another bag and inspected it carefully. He continued to talk though, not yet meeting Tony’s eyes. “I don’t remember much about it, it was a long time ago. So that whole year is kind of fuzzy,” Peter said.

Tony suddenly wished he wouldn’t have pushed for the answer. He never liked making Peter talk about things that were maybe a bit too personal. Topics he usually stayed away from where his parents and what had happened to uncle Ben. Now with everything that was happening to May, it didn’t seem right to ask the kid to dig up bones like that.

But Peter continued. “I um, I remember Aunt May and Uncle Ben crying a lot. But I just remember being confused and asking for my parents. I guess I was still too little to understand but May and Ben tried to keep things normal for me,” Peter went on to say. Tony listened intently, his eyes never leaving Peter. But the kid had yet take his eyes off the bag in his hands. It looked like he needed the distraction.

“I asked them to take me to the mall to go see Santa. And they did of course, I think they were just trying to do familiar things with me. But I got there and I sat on his lap and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told him I wanted my parents back,” Peter said and Tony had to fight himself not to stop the kid. “The poor Santa guy didn’t say anything, like he got real silent and he looked over at my aunt and uncle. Well Uncle Ben grabbed me and hurried me away while May kept apologizing to everybody, me, Santa, the elf,” Peter said with a short laugh.

Peter sighed though and finally looked up at Tony. There was something almost far away in his eyes. He didn’t seem so interested in the bag anymore either. “I just knew that when I woke up on Christmas morning they’d be there. They had to be you know? Because I had asked Santa and I had so much faith that they would be. I was completely positive that Santa would bring my parents back. Well, Christmas morning came and I woke up and I guess you kind of know the rest,” Peter said.

Why did Tony have to ask? Why couldn’t he have just leave well enough alone. His mouth felt dry and he ached to pull Peter into a tight embrace.

“They weren't there,” Peter said softly, just to clarify himself. Like he might have needed to. “I never asked to go back to the mall after that. I just kind of knew. And May and Ben never talked about it again, in fact I don’t think we ever really talked about Santa at all after that.”

“Peter I’m…” Tony started, he felt at a loss for words. “I’m sorry that happened,” he mumbled. What was he meant to say in that kind of situation? What could he do to comfort the teen right next to him.

“Oh no don’t be sorry Mr. Stark!” Peter said quickly, hurrying to sat the bag down. That happened almost ten years ago!”

“Still,” Tony said softly. “I hate that for you Pete.” Tony mumbled. He did, he hated it so much for the kid. Because Peter was so good and so young, it wasn't fair. And Peter had never once said it was unfair that three out of four of his parental figures had died. If anyone had the right to complain it was him, but he never did.

“It never hurt Mr. Stark. Or uh...maybe it kind of did when I was little but I was still small, I didn’t really get it. The pain was never overwhelming like it was for Ben and May. It was just more of a one day they were here and the next they were gone sort of thing. I didn’t really hurt until I lost Ben.”

Ben was another topic Tony didn’t bring up. He’d known what happened to the man simply from police reports. And in those same reports they talked about a thirteen year old being at the scene. A hysterical thirteen year old. Tony had come to realize that Peter was there when it happened.

“I know it’s sad about my parents and all but I promise I’m not sad!” Peter said quickly. He could see the look on the other man’s face. “Really, Ben and May were the best things that ever happened to me. I don’t know where I’d be without them, and I know Ben isn’t here anymore but May is and she loves me like a mom,” Peter said with a soft smile.”She’s never once let me feel like I was alone.”

“She’s always treated me like hers, even when she didn’t have to,” Peter went on to say. “I’m not sure what I’d do without her, I don’t even want to think about it. She’s just like my mom. So in a way I’m really lucky to have a great person like her and yeah I wish that hadn’t happened to my parents but I got May and she’s incredible.” Peter finished, grabbing another bag and holding it out for Tony. “I like this one.”

Tony gave the kid a tight lipped smile before taking the red bag and looking it over.

Fuck.

That was all he could think of. How could Peter ever get over the hurt of losing another parent figure? This wasn’t like losing his parents ten years ago and it was different than losing Ben. Because when he lost Ben he still had May to take care of him.

Tony had this information that would shatter Peter’s world and here he was keeping it to himself. If only to keep Peter in the dark for a bit longer.

Tony briefly thought about Schrodinger's cat. You put a cat in a box, maybe the cat dies, maybe the cat lives. But you don’t know it, so what is the cat then? If Peter’s world was ending and he didn’t know it, was his world still ending? Was his world both completely intact and shattering simultaneously?

“Yeah kid this looks good to me,” Tony said holding up the red bag this time. It was simple but it had lots of pockets and Peter had said he’d liked it. “You can get a blue one too if you want.”

“It’s alright Mr. Stark! Really one is plenty thank you,” Peter said offering Tony a pleased look.

Tony just couldn’t do it anymore, he was going to beak. This secret wasn’t just a secret anymore. His throat felt tight as him and Peter made their way up to the check out.

Like promised Pepper had ordered them dinner but Tony could only pick at his food. He didn’t know how he was going to manage to keep anything done if he at more than a few bites. He felt sick.

**

Tony stood at the front door knocking loudly for about two minutes before anyone opened up. It was a Tuesday at 8 in the morning. Tony was sure Peter was at school when he showed up a the Parkers apartment.

“Tony,” May said as she got the door. “I didn’t know you were coming over today.” She said, stepping aside so that she could let the man in.

Every time Tony seen her she looked just the slightest bit sicker. He might not even have noticed if it wasn’t for the fact that he knew what was going on. He watched for those kinds of things. Quietly expecting the physical changes and the outward appearance of poor health.

But there would eventually come a time when Peter noticed too. And that day was coming alarmingly fast. “We have to talk,” he said, walking in while May closed the door behind him.

“Okay,” May started slowly. “Should I get the coffee ready?” She asked with a joking smile but Tony didn’t have time for all of that. They were running out of time.

She was running out of time.

“May, we have to stop lying to him. I can’t do this anymore,” Tony mumbled before roughly running a hand down his face. He all but collapsed on the small aged sofa. “It’s….” It was eating him alive. “It’s counterproductive, Peter should know.” Because Tony could feel his resolve slipping.

“Tony,” May started. “Tony it’s only two weeks until Christmas. We can wait just a bit longer.”

“Can we?” Tony asked, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hand. “Because first it was Thanksgiving and now it’s Christmas, what next? New Years, his birthday, Labor Day?” He scoffed, instantly regretting his sharp tone.

“What I’m trying to say is that the longer we wait the worse it’s going to be,” It was like every time Tony looked into those big brown eyes the guilt twisted itself around his insides. Those big trusting eyes would look into Tony’s and he’d feel a sickness come over him. A disgust for the lies.

“You’ll have to forgive me,” She said, her tone changing from warm to cold. “It’s not easy telling your child that you’re going to die. You might think it’s fairly simple but actually it’s pretty terrible,” May said, narrowing her eyes at Tony on the sofa. “To look at your kid and try to explain to them that you won’t be here for the next Christmas, or their birthday, or to watch them get their driver's license or to watch them graduate,” She said lowly.

“And having to look at him and lie to his face is any better, May?” Tony said softly. “We can’t change the situation but we can change how we approach it.”

“You don’t think I want to tell him?” She said, her voice starting to raise. “Do you know how hard it is break that kind of news to somebody? Somebody who still needs you to be around?! Do you know how this feels?!” She yelled. “I feel like I’m letting him down and I can’t do anything about it!”

Tony didn’t say anything, he just watched her fuming expression sadly. She looked lost in a way and devastated. She looked like a woman who had been trying to keep it together for far too long. “Why are you yelling?” Tony asked, the same soft quiet tone as before. Everything felt so surreal. It didn’t feel like he was watching Peter’s dying aunt have a breakdown. Instead it felt he was staring at a picture of a picture.

“Because I’m angry!” She yelled again, the big tears starting to roll down her face. “I’m angry because I’m sick and I’m scared and I don’t want to leave Peter! And I’m so so tired,” she said, her voice cracking as she put her hands in her hair. “I’m angry and I’m sad because I won’t be here to see all the great thing I know he’s going to do and I’m worried. Who’s going to hold him when /he’s/ sad or when he needs comfort? Who’s going to love him like I do?”

Tony instantly got up from the his seat on the beat up sofa and grabbed onto May’s shoulders, forcing the woman to look at him. “Me, May. I thought we established that, it’s all me.” He tried to keep his voice even and level but there was so much emotion, it was hard to keep every trace of it away. “When he breaks I’ll be there. And everything you'd can't do, I will.”

May hung her head and let herself continue to cry silently. “I’m just angry,” she whispered finally. “And I’m tired.”

“I know,” Tony sighed, leading her to the sofa to sit. “God knows you’re tired May. But please think about what I’m saying. You can’t keep this from hurting him, no matter how much you want to. He should be given a chance to process this and to come to terms with it. He deserves that.”

May looked up at Tony with red puffy eyes. Her face looked even more hollow than before. She looked scared and nervous and lost. But she sniffed slightly and took a deep breath. “Just please, give us until Christmas. I’ll tell him right after. Just give me one more holiday with him. This is it Tony, this is the last Christmas I’ll ever get with Peter. You’ve got countless more. Please...I don’t want to see him cry or grieve that day. I just want him to be a happy kid opening up presents. I bought him so many this year. I want to watch him...enjoy it,” she said, her voice breaking again as the tears fell faster. “One last wish?”

How could he deny her that? Tony didn’t think it was possible. All May wanted was one last Christmas with Peter. One where he wasn’t thinking about how sick she was or how they might not get another holiday. He sighed deeply before closing his eyes. It couldn’t make it any worse could it? “After Christmas,” Tony said and he could see May slump in relief. “But before New Year’s,” he mumbled. The woman simply nodded in agreement.

“I’ve got a couple plans for on Christmas Eve, do you think you can spare him for a few hours?” Tony asked, wondering if it was shellfish to even ask that. “Take him all of Christmas Day but I’d like to see him the night before for a bit. I can have him home by eight.”

  
If it was going to be Peter’s last Christmas with May, Tony was going to make sure it was the best Christmas the kid ever had.

**

It was the first time that Tony Had shown up at the compound alone in quite some time. It had become the norm for Peter to be right there with him. When he stepped onto the main floor he wasn’t surprised to see the group in their typical spots. What did surprise him though was Thor’s presence. “I wish to see my new Spider nephew and to congratulate you!” The man’s voice boomed out the moment he caught sight of Tony.

“What are you talking about?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow and folding his arms across his chest. “What nephew?”

“I was informed that the young Spider child is your new son. I was not expecting this news when I arrived! If I had known I would have brought you an honorable gift for the occasion.”

“Oh you were informed where you?” Tony said as his eyes landed on Steve. “And I can only guess who told you.”

“I’m sorry, Tony,” Steve said getting up for from his spot in the living room. “It honestly was an accident, I was having a private conversation and it was overhead. Then suddenly everyone else knew. I never intended it to happen,” the man said with sincerity.

It was the first time since he’d stepped through the doors that he caught everyone’s expression. Nobody was smiling or laughing, there were no jokes being told or snide sarcastic comments being thrown around. They all looked stoic and forlorn. Like usual Sam and Clint were sitting on the sofa together, however this time they were joined by another addition. Barnes. Wanda and Natasha were sitting together on the other side of them room, Steve had only stood up to explain himself. Everyone shared the same grave look. All except for Thor who continued to look over Tony’s shoulder like Peter might still show up.

“What kind of conversation were you having and with who?” Tony hissed. “This wasn’t something I planned on sharing with the class.”

“He was talking to Bucky,” Clint mumbled. “I overheard them and…well I let it slip. I thought everyone but me knew and it turns out that nobody knew.”

“You could have said something,” Sam said but Tony ignored him. Instead he started to pace the floor.

“Peter cannot know that his aunt is sick like this,” Tony started before Natasha cut him off.

“Sick as in dying right?” She said. “She’s not just sick, she’s going to die. Is that information accurate? And if we understand correctly, you’ll be taking custody of him?”

This was not how today was meant to play out. Tony gritted his teeth together before spinning around to look at everyone once again. “She’s got an aggressive form of cancer, she’s opting out of treatment, and she’s not a candidate for surgery, you tell me.” Natasha didn’t say anything and the silence in the room only grew thicker. “It’s safe to assume that she doesn’t have much time.”

“Nobody told him?” Clint asked and Tony just shook his head. “He has no idea what’s happening?”

“No, he doesn’t,” Tony snapped. “I’m working on that okay? His aunt doesn’t want him to know until after Christmas and if anyone in this room let’s it slip, they’re out. Out of the compound, off the team, and I’ll see to it that-”

“Jesus Tony, we’re not going to tell him!” Sam said, throwing his hands up. “We just think it’s…”

“It’s fucked up,” Clint mumbled, shaking his head and pointedly ignoring Steve’s disapproving stare.

“Very,” Bucky mumbled for beside him. “But you plan on taking care of him?”

Tony raised his eyebrow, waiting for the challenge that followed. For a brief second the man was sure Bucky had something to say about it. Some hateful remark or some bit about how Tony didn’t have the first idea about raising a teenager.

He should have known better though. Bucky and him didn't speak very often, if ever. In fact he was still somewhat surprised to see him in the living room. Usually he kept to himself, or at least he did when Tony was around.

“That’s the plan,” Tony sniffed, making sure to keep his expression masked and and cool. He didn’t need the team doubting him right then. He’d already had plenty of that and so far he’d proved himself the best he could.

“He’s going to be devastated,” Sam said, his eyes falling to the floor. “The kid has already lost three parents already.”

“I know,” Tony finally said after a long few seconds. “I know it’s bad but this is why I’m here. Now that everyone knows...even if you weren’t meant to, I want to make sure he has a really good holiday.”

“You want him to have a Stark Holiday. Everything above and beyond?” Sam asked, finally giving him the briefest of smiles. “Let me guess, really big decorations really big meal, and some really expensive presents?”

“I get him for two hours on Christmas Eve,” Tony muttered. “And it’s going to be the most magical two hours of is his life.”

“I don’t always agree with you,” Thor spoke up again. “But for my newest youngest nephew, nothing is too extravagant.”

“He’s not..” Tony mumbled, his mask slipping, giving way to his confusion. “We’re not related you know that right? He’s not going to be related to you either.”

“Nonsense!” Thor said, his loud voice making Bucky wince. “We are all brothers and sisters in arms! And even in peace.”

“Oh my God,” Tony mumbled rubbing tiredly at his eyes. “Okay, we’ve got a lot of planning to do. And I’ve got a feeling Pepper is going to need some help.”

**

So Tony continued to stay at the tower on the weekends with Peter. He kept up his charade just like he’d promised May. On the weekends everything was just as ordinary as before. But on the weekdays Tony was at the tower, making sure that it would all be perfect.

“Damn,” Clint mumbled as he continued to string lights outside of the large facility. The group had turned their comms on, treating the decorating almost like a real mission. “Sam I need some help over here.”

“Man, I’m all the way on the other side of the building, what’s the problem?” The other asked. “You know how long it takes to put up twelve reindeer, Stark wasn’t kidding when he said he was going all out.”

“Guys, you got the simplest jobs. Steve and Bucky are putting up an eighteen foot tree, Vision and Bruce are wrapping everything and Nat and I are decorating the inside of the place. Do you have any idea how much inside there is to this pace?” Wanda said only slightly irritated. “ And Sam there was only meant to be eight reindeer.”

“Alright then trade us, Sam and I wanna come inside and help decorate the tree anyway,” Clint said, letting a strand of lights fall down. He’d been balanced on the on the ledges of the building for so long he was starting to get stiff.

“Guys we have the tree covered, we really need you outside right now,” Steve said. “Besides Clint, I thought you’d be use to putting up lights. Don’t you have kids at home?”

For a moment the man didn’t say anything and the comms stayed silent. Finally he spoke back up. “Well, things are so peachy at home. We’ve decided to split the holidays this year. I took thanksgiving so she’s taking all of December...and the house” he mumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said sadly. “I hope this isn’t...if this going to-.”

“I’m not triggered,” Clint said with a long sigh. “I’ll see them right after Christmas and we’ll celebrate then. She’s not taking the kids, but we're taking a break right now. It’s easier on the kids anyway, they don’t want to see us fighting all day.”

“Hey, you know you can talk to us about it. I’ve got a degree in psychology, I know a thing or two. I’m not a marriage counselor but you get what I’m saying,” Sam said almost gently.

“I’m good everyone,” Clint said, grabbing his string of lights again and getting back to work. “Making sure Peter’s Christmas is good is a pretty decent distraction. A little pissed that Tony got the fun job. He’s out buying presents and everything.”

“I got him something,” Sam said while Natasha and Wanda hummed in agreement.

“I might have picked him up one or two things,” Bruce mumble. “But I got everyone something this year so it’s not like I was shopping just for him.”

“What!?” Clint barked. “I haven’t seen anyone leave this compound in like three days, how is everybody making time for all this shopping?”

“Well Clint, we don’t put things off until the last minute,” Steve said with a warm laugh. “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have time to do your day before gift shopping. Or put your name on whatever Thor is bringing back.

“No way, you know Tony’s gonna confiscate whatever Thor gives him right after the party,” Sam spoke up. “Maybe I can get something online, overnight delivery is an option,” Clint sighed. “Alright, now seriously let me focus guys. I can’t be talking right now, I need to get this giant snowman up before Tony makes it back.”  
  
“Well somebody needs to help me figure out how I got four extra reindeer,” Sam added.

**

“I don’t know why you keep looking at cars Tony, you know May already told you no,” Pepper said, reminding the man. “Besides, he still won’t have his driver's license for another year

“Yes, I’m aware that she said I, Tony Stark, could not give him a new car. And his birthday will be here before you know it, I’m just looking,” Tony said, putting his phone in his pocket and giving the woman a small smile. “Just looking is all.”

Pepper returned the look, her eyes meeting Tony’s happily. Fatherhood sure looked good on him. “You know I can’t remember a time when you got so excited about Christmas.”

“Well, kids will do that to you. I can’t let him down after all. Just because I think the whole Christmas thing is just a retail holiday doesn’t mean he should suffer.”

Neither of them pointed out how Peter had changed everything. From Tony’s lifestyle to his train of thought. From the constant never ending feeling of worry and fear he had for the kid’s safety to how he could change Tony’s mood with simple smile. Tony would do anything to make that one fifteen year old happy. Going all out for Christmas? That was nothing compared to the lengths Tony was ready to go for him.

Months ago May had told Tony that she was dying. Months ago Tony couldn’t imagine how in the hell he was going to be a decent guardian. He couldn’t picture how he would ever take care of him. Now, Tony couldn’t picture his life without Peter, he couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of not being there.

‘I think he might just be everything,’ Tony thought to himself, surprised by how the thought didn’t terrify him anymore.

“And just what would you like for Christmas?” Pepper asked, playfully crossing her arms. “You’ve been out all week shopping for Peter, picking him up everything from clothes to electronics to new Stark gear. But tell me, what do you want under that giant tree of yours?”

“You know Ms Potts? Seeing Pete happy is all I want this year,” he said. May had already given him the best gift in the world. Not that Peter was a gift but...May had given him the chance to be somebody who he never thought he could be.

Peter filled a place inside of Tony’s heart that he hadn't known was empty. He hadn’t even know that place inside of himself existed and then all of a sudden the best part of Tony’s life was one short teenager with a big smile and mop of brown hair that always managed to turn curly by the end of the day. A teenager who could climb walls, who could lift well over ten tons, and might have a little extra in the senses department.

One perfect kid.

He had May to thank for that. And Ben. And Richard and Mary. If he could thank them too he would.

Tony quickly shook himself from his thoughts. That was not that time to get emotional, even if he was emotional. Even if everything was true, Tony had a reputation to uphold. “I say we have a trunk full of gifts to wrap, catering to still call, and a few other things to take care of. Christmas is how many hours away now?”

“24, we’d better work fast,” Pepper laughed. “Let’s get unloaded and see how everyone is coming along.”

“You go ahead, I’ll meet you inside. I just wanted to look around the garage really quick. I didn’t realize I had so many cars, did you?”

“Don’t do it,” Pepper warned while Tony threw his hands up defensively.

“I’d never!”  
  
**

“Mr. Stark, not that I don’t like seeing you but it’s Christmas Eve?” Peter said hesitantly as he pulled the seatbelt across himself and sat his bag down on the floor “And May was really cryptic, she said I was only staying for a couple hours but that was it. And she packed my bag with like eleven tins of cookies? We’ve been in the kitchen for hours!”

“Is there...is there like a mission or something?” Peter asked, his voice lowering some as he glanced around the car. Like the answer might be in the back seat.

Tony laughed as he pulled away from the apartment complex. “What kind of mission involves cookies?” Tony asked, smirking at the teen next to him. “No kid, we’re just having a small get together at the compound. Like a uh, holiday employee party. Most of the team is going to be there and I thought you might like to join in,”Tony explained nonchalantly, not wanting to give away anything.

And it was sort of like an employee party. The team was there, Happy, Pepper, Rhodey, Even Thor had made sure to be there. He just wasn’t going to mention that it was all Peter Parker inspired and that maybe most of the gifts under the tree were for him.

Of course everyone had tried to buy evenly for one another but what could they say? Peter was sort of the backbone of the party after all.

“A Christmas party?” Peter asked? “I didn’t know the Avengers did Christmas Parties!” Peter exclaimed. Suddenly a look realization came over him and he looked down at his bag. “That’s why we made so many cookies, for gifts?” Peter asked.

“Well, I told May it wasn’t necessary but she insisted on not letting you come without them,” Tony said.

“Um...now might be a good time to tell you that some of those are kind of burnt. She put them in really nice holiday tins though,” Peter said with a wince. “They’re not all burnt just um, the ones May made by herself.”

“Relax, I’m sure everyone will love them,” Tony said with a smile and a shrug. Because it wasn’t exactly about giving the team food for the holidays. Even if there was a feast at the compound.

They talked for a bit as the radio played Christmas music in the background. Tony use to hate the drive from the tower to the compound, with Peter sitting shotgun though it wasn’t nearly so bad. In fact Tony found himself enjoying the ride because of it.

Before they even pulled up to the building, Peter was gasping loudly. “Mr. Stark, somebody put lights up!?”

The compound had been lit up with twinkling holiday lights. The multi colored glow from the lights had Peter mezmorized . The display reindeers, the Santa clause, the huge snowman, it was all perfect. Even Tony was slightly awed by it. He hadn’t gotten a chance to see the compound with the lights on until that night.

“Yep, you can thank Sam and Clint. They wanted it to look nice,” Tony said. Even if he had been the one who’d demanded lights.

“It looks amazing! Like, the most festive thing I’ve seen all year!” Peter said, his eyes wide and shining with happiness as Tony pulled in to park.

It warned Tony to see the kid so happy over a couple of lights. If he was that excited over the outside, Tony wondered what he’d think of the inside.

As it turned out the reaction was twice that.

“It looks like Christmas exploded!” Peter said as he looked around the large compound lobby. “It looks like something from a magazine,” Peter mumbled, admiring the all the perfect little touches. From the giant red Christmas bulbs to the tiny glass snowflakes that had been hung up. There really was a whimsical look about the whole place. His team had really outdone themselves. “It must have took you guys ages to do all this,”

“Not really, about an afternoon of teamwork, it wasn’t that bad,” Tony laughed. Of course it wasn’t bad, he’d gotten to go shop while the team had been left to see to the compound. “Let’s go head upstairs, everyone is waiting for us.”

The rest of the compound was just as elegant. From whimsy candy canes to real pine wreaths. Peter almost couldn’t get enough of it. He wanted to look at everything. But it didn’t take long to get to the common floor

“Oh my God,” Peter whispered when the stepped out of the elevator straight to the living room. There in the center of everything was the giant tree, complete with presents and stockings hung around it. “Mr. Stark!” Peter gasped, turning to him with huge eyes.

“Tony,” the man said, gently reminding him. “What do you think?” Tony asked, hardly able to continue his own grin. “Big enough?”

“This is the biggest tree I’ve ever seen!” Peter said. “And look at the table, it’s got..oh my god look at all the food?!” Peter examined and Tony couldn’t hold back his laughter. He was so excited.

“Do I hear a young Spider?” Thor asked as he stepped out of the kitchen. “Ah, I wasn't mistaken!” The God smiled and moved to pull Peter into a crushing hug.

“Thor!” Peter said happily, returning the hug with enthusiasm. “Oh my God, Thor is here!”

“I think we broke him,” Tony said, turning to the team as they started to filter in. “He keeps saying ‘oh my God,’ should I be worried?” He said, but they could all hear the happiness in his voice.

“I think he’ll be alright, if Thor doesn’t crush him to death,” Clint said, watching the exchange. “Spidey has to breathe, big guy,” Clint shouted out, trying to be heard over the chatter.

For once Tony refused to think about the troubles that were ahead. The group had promised not to say a word, not even think about May or cancer or dying. For a few hours all Tony wanted was to enjoy the moment. To enjoy Peter’s childlike excitement and joy.

But the rest of the team still noted how Thor hugged him just a little too tightly and how Tony had gone to great lengths to make the night perfect. And how maybe some of those gifts under the tree weren't just Christmas gifts but instead ‘I love you’ gifts for the hardship to come.

“The food is getting cold!” Pepper called out, hoping that maybe she could redirect them to the table. “Come on everyone, dinner then gifts.”

“Coming!” Peter yelled, everyone had taken a moment to greet him and offer him a smile and a hug. But soon everyone was just as on board with dishing up their plates and setting down as Peter was.

**

Dinner went as expected. Loud and chaotic but filled with a sense of togetherness. It was something Tony wasn’t sure they could ever have again. But there they were, eating, laughing, and joking. Like a family. He stared out at the table in front of him. He never would have thought he could call everyone there friends and family again. But he’d been wrong. For the first time, Tony had never been more grateful to be proven wrong.

Clint was tossing food at Sam and Bruce, Wanda and Vision having a serious discussion about the turkey, Pepper taking a million and one pictures, Rhodey, Happy, and Natasha chatting away while Peter and Thor reached for another serving of mashed potatoes. Even Bucky was there, mainly speaking with Steve but present.

Another thing Tony didn’t think was possible, sitting at the same table with Barnes and finding that he didn’t absolutely hate the man like he once thought he had. And of course Steve was the one looking right back at Tony with a soft fond expression.

When it was time for presents Peter was the first to hand his out. “They’re from my aunt and I, they might not taste good but you can keep the tins!” He said quickly, giving the group a bashful smile.

“They’ll be wonderful, Pete,” Pepper said smiling again while everyone else agreed.

“Hell yeah, we eat all cookies,” Clint added while Thor nodded in agreement.

“On Asgard any gift from a child is highly cherished,” he said, holding his tin of cookies tightly to him. “Thank you.”

They bombarded each other with gifts, everyone ripping away at the paper and exchanging thank you’s. Peter of course was the most gracious, thanking everyone who handed him something over and over before he’d even opened it.

He stated to become flustered when his pile of gifts continued to grow, looking around at everyone frantically. “You guys this is too much, all I got you were cookies! And not that I don’t love the gifts but you didn’t have to-”

“None of that” Tony said quickly, hurrying to put something else in his hands. “Not one word about it,” he insisted firmly but gently. “We love your aunt’s cookies and I fully expect you to tell her when you get home.”

Everyone there had wanted to give Peter something. For one he was still a child, fifteen or not. And Christmas still meant a lot to him. More so than anyone else there. That and the deeply hidden knowledge of what was to come for the teen. It had been endearing to buy for a kid, something only Clint had understood previously. It had been nothing to buy Peter a few gifts each if it meant making him happy, even if it was only for a short time.

From Avengers themed pajamas, to new backpacks, to the unreleased Stark phone. Peter didn’t think he’d ever gotten so many things before. Sure he’d had amazing Christmas’ with his aunt and uncle but there had never been so many presents involved. They had never had all that much money and Peter knew for a fact that they started buying months ahead. There he was sitting in a pile of gifts and he didn’t even know how to act.

Clint had given him the pajamas along with a handful of video games, Bruce of course had given him the newest science books, Sam had went straight for the Legos and the board games while Wanda and Vision had shopped together and made at least somewhat of an effort to be practical. From them he’d gotten the backpacks and the new sweaters. Pepper had seemed to have the same idea along the lines of clothes. Of course though...Peter didn’t even want to think how much the shoes and designers outfits were.

Thor, like promised, had given Peter something that wouldn’t get confiscated. A soft traditional blanket along with different snacks from his home that Peter could try. Ned would absolutely faint when he learned that Thor had given him intergalactical snacks. From Bucky and Steve he’d gotten the historic gifts, a compass and an old Swiss Army knife.

Natasha had given him socks and mugs with science puns on them and Happy had gotten Peter endless gift cards. The electronic gifts had come for Rhodey and Tony himself. The phone of course, programed with Karen, the fancy sleek panic button that Peter could wear as watch. The portable speakers and the laptop, it was almost endless it felt like.

Tony was sure the kid was about to start refusing to open things. Finally though it came to and end and Peter looked truly awestruck. Tony almost worried that he’d overwhelmed him. But it wasn’t like the team hadn’t exchanged gifts with each other either.

“Wow,” Peter said said as he slowly looked at all the things around him. He hadn’t even counted the little stocking stuffers. “You guys,” he started again, unsure of what to say. “This was...you really didn’t have to do all this I mean…”

“Kid,” Tony said but was quickly cut off by Steve.

“Don’t think twice about it, Peter,” the man laughed. “We’ve all got of gifts here remember? Besides, we wanted to.” But all eyes had been on Peter that night, regardless of what everyone else was getting.

Again Peter found himself hugging everyone before he headed home for the night. Another long round of thanks you's and Peter was back in the car with Tony, the trunk loaded down. Some things Tony would take back to the tower for Peter to put in his room and some things he’d take with him to the apartment.

Tony hadn’t forgotten May either, she had a couple unopened gifts from Pepper, Happy, and himself in the back as well.

“And you’ll hang my new pajamas up in the closet right?” Peter asked, he hadn’t stopped talking since he’d gotten in the car.

“Of course,” Tony laughed. “Either me or Dum-E will but I promise they’ll get put up.” He said. Peter really was starting to live back and forth. Every weekend he found a couple new items in Peter’s room. Rather he’d bought them for the kid or Peter had brought them from his apartment.

Tony would never admit how good it felt to walk into his kid’s room and see it filled with his things. A messy bed, clothes on the floor, shoes not put up, schools papers laid on his desk. It officially looked like a teenager lived there.

“Hey, Tony?” Peter asked softly. Instantly Tony’s head snapped around to look at the kid in the seat next to him. Peter hardly ever called him by name. “I just want to say thank you again. I know I’ve said it a hundred times tonight but I mean it. Christmas is kind of hard anyway...it’s around the time Uncle Ben died. But this has really been one of the best nights ever. And not just because of the gifts either. Getting to spend it with you was my favorite part,”

Tony didn't know what to say for a moment. How could one kid be so sweet? He’d probably never know but that was Peter on any given day. “Don’t mention it, as long as you had a good time that’s all I care about.”

“I had the best time,” Peter said with a smile. “Too many gifts...like way too many but I love all of them.” The teen said with another grin and a laugh.

‘Anything for you kid.’ Tony thought to himself as they pulled up to Peter’s apartment.

“Alright, Underoos, let’s pick out what’s coming to the tower and what’s staying here. I’ll help you get everything in.”

“I can get it!” Peter said, “You don’t have to grab anything, super strength remember?”

“It’s alright, I told May I’d come in and say hey anyway,” Tony insisted. Really though he needed to drop off the notebook. They had still been using it, even after so many months had passed. May had almost filled every page and Tony assumed she’d need a new one soon. But he read everything about Peter she had to say in it.

After Tony had taken care of his discret business with May and had helped Peter take all his gifts in, the two headed back out to the car. Tony had been a little confused as to why Peter was walking him but he didn’t say anything. In fact somewhere in the notebook May had talked about Peter’s need to keep everyone safe. Tony knew he’d read that passage just recently but he was already familiar with the trait. He assumed maybe that’s why Peter was walking him back down the steps.

But when they reached the bottom, Peter stopped him again. “I um..I didn’t just get you cookies,” Peter laughed shyly as he pulled something out of his jacket. He’d apparently been smuggling something out. “I know it’s not much, I don’t get a very big allowance and you’re kind of a billionaire so you’re a little harder to by for,” Peter said as he handed Tony the warped gift.

It was thin and flat but it was good sized. The wrapping was terrible but that only made it more endearing. “Kid, you didn’t have to get anything,” Tony stared as he started at the object. “We did the thing at the compound tonight because we wanted to.”

“I know and I wanted to get you this. Besides, I had it done way before Christmas,” Peter said. “Open it? And also don’t laugh,” he added for good measure.

Slowly Tony pulled away the sparkly gold paper. Under the wrapping was a simple picture frame. Black and wooden and surly inexpensive. The picture inside though? One of him and Peter. He could remember taking it with Peter. They were down in the lab working on something...Peter had made them take it together, insisting that he needed to check his camera quality.

Peter and him were side by side. The teen wore the largest smile while Tony’s grin had been a little more controlled and tamed. An exasperated but fond smile. He’d never thought much about that picture when Peter had taken but it was perfect.

“Pete,” Tony said. “I’m not getting emotional you know, I’m not going to do it,” he said, narrowing his eyes some at the teen in front of him. Playful but insistent. “But um…” He mumbled, looking back down at the photo in his hands. He could feel himself getting absolutely emotional about the whole thing. “I love it, Peter. It’s going right on my desk.”

“Which desk,” Peter asked, raising a skeptic eyebrow.

“The workshop desk,” he added confidently. And he might even have a copy made for the living room, the lab, hell he’d even love to put in the lobby.

Peter seemed pleased with the answer and he smiled again at the other man. “Alright I guess I better head back inside, I’ll see you this weekend though!” Peter said. “And thank you again, and tell everyone else thank you!” Peter called out as he headed back inside.

“Will do,” Tony mumbled but the teen had already headed into the apartment complex.

Tony stared down at the picture again, taking a couple deep breaths before smiling once more. “Oh yeah, this is going in the workshop,” he said to himself before climbing back into the he car. It would go in the workshop because that's where Tony spent the majority of his time and he wanted to see it everyday.

*  
Peter and May had had a wonderful Christmas morning together. The gifts from her were much simpler but just as loved and appreciated. A homemade scrapbook she’d been working on, plenty of new sweaters, more Legos, fuzzy socks, and much more. Peter couldn’t help but notice that there were a couple more presents under their tree as well. More than he’d been use to the following years.

Peter had gotten her a new bathrobe, her favorite perfume, some candles, and of course the fanciest bubble bath he could afford to go with her robe. Again Peter had been pulled into a crushing hug when she’d opened it all.

They drank hot chocolate ate cookies and turned on The Santa Clause and snuggled up together on the sofa. They would have stayed like that all morning if it hadn’t been from the text message from Tony.

Peter pulled out his phone and stared at it in confusion.

“What’s it say?” May asked when she noticed that Peter hadn’t said anything or responded to the message a few short seconds later.

“It’s from Mr Stark, he says I’m doubled parked out front?”

“What?” May asked, her voice lowering just slightly.

“Yeah, weird huh?” Peter snorted before typing out a short message. “I don’t have a car.”

Before he could hit send his phone chimed again. “He says...check under the welcome mat?”

“Oh no,” May mumbled, following Peter’s lead as he climbed off the sofa and slowly headed to the front door.

Peter opened the door and looked back at his aunt hesitantly before carefully leaning down and peeking under the old welcome mat. Sure enough there was a single key. “No way,” Peter mumbled.

“No way,” May mumbled back, her tone lacking all the awe Peter’s held.

The two took the apartment steps two at a time and hurried outside. Sure enough parked out front, just like Tony had said, there was a car taking up to spaces. “No way!” Peter yelped, his eyes going wide as he stared at May.

A shiny red Audi that Peter was sure he’d seen in Tony’s garage before. He was almost positive Tony had taken him out in it before come to think of it.

“Stark,” she grumbled but Peter’s expression of shock changed into one of pure excitement. On top of the car was the classic red bow and under the windshield wiper was a card. “I can’t not believe him,” she said, trying to hide any of her amusement.

Peter grabbed the card and opened it up, slowly reading it out loud for May to hear. “Merry Christmas, from the Avengers,” he said, holding it up to show her. “Ps: It's a 2017.”

“A not new car,” May said, shaking her head.

“They all signed it with their superhero names!” Peter said with pure delight. “Look, it says from Iron Man!”

“A not new car from Iron Man,” May said, folding her arms across her chest while Peter unlocked it and continued to gasp and awe over it.

“Peter, don’t even think you’re going to be starting this thing until you’re sixteen,” she said, finally giving into her laughter. “I’m serious, the only way your keeping this thing is if you surrender the keys for another nine months.”

Tony Stark was the kind of loopholes.

**

Christmas had come and went but only by a day. The wrapping paper was still taking up space in the trash cans and the food was still taking up space in the fridge. While it was officially the 26th of December, Tony was still basking in the afterglow of the last two days.

Getting yelled at by May for giving her nephew a car was completely worth it. And Tony had a feeling she was only lecturing him for the sake of appearance and tradition. He had promised her that it could stay parked back at the tower but he made it clear that it rightfully belonged to Peter, even if he couldn’t drive it for a little under a year.

That and he had to swear to her that there would be major ground rules on the car. No test drives without an adult. No parties. His grades stayed up or else Tony would have to yank the keys. That much he could promise May. Something he had no problem doing. The car had a whole list of stipulations attached to it.

And while he’d given the car to Peter, the gift was partially for May as well. Even if she didn’t know. She hadn’t expected to be there for Peter’s sixteenth birthday, but this way she could remember what it was like to watch her teenager get his first car. Minus the license but she still got to witness the event. It was just more thing she’d get to watch Peter do before time ran out.

Tony had spent most of the day in the tower, tinkering and working on an upgrade for War Machine. The day had been relatively slow but he couldn’t bring himself to mind. Happy and Pepper had taken the day off to visit and spend time with family, So he hadn’t had much conversation that day.

Not that Tony minded. The silence was peaceful in a way. Mostly. It also reminded him though of how empty the tower could get at times. He knew he could fix the silence and loneliness if he moved back to the compound but it wasn’t that simple anymore.

And on the weekends it was far from quite. The weekends were filled with laughter. It was filled with homework questions and the sound of another pair of feet running down the halls. Sometimes running up the walls. The weekends were alive. With lab time and workshop time and movies and Tony lecturing Peter on why he needed eight of sleep before he let him stay up just a little longer.

Regardless, Tony would just have to wait until Friday rolled around before he got to see the teen. Only a few more days away. And really it was a good evening to stay inside bunkered down. It was a typical New York winter with it’s typical snowstorm. The forecast had called for freezing temperatures and possibly up to a foot of snow.

Outside the blizzard was already starting.

The man was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the sound of his phone buzzing against the table. It was FRIDAY who startled him

“Boss, May Parker is on the phone, would you like me to patch her through,” FRIDAY asked and Tony made a hum of approval before he went back to searching for his screwdriver. A little old fashioned but all Tony had that night was time.

“Hey, May. Don’t tell me he's already begging to go for a ride in the car?” Tony asked but he didn’t get an instant response like he’d thought he would. “May? You got a bad connection?” He asked.

Suddenly the woman on the other line let out a strangled sob and Tony jumped out of his chair, his heart starting to hammer. “Tony, it’s Peter.”

“What is it?” He asked fiercely. “Where is he, what happened? Is he hurt?” Tony demanded to know as he felt fear start to overpower him.

“He found the book,” May said, trying to get her breathing under control. “The notebook,” she said, her voice frantic and fast.

“He found the notebook?” Tony asked, struggling to put it all together. “What notebook?”

“The one I’ve been writing in, about him. He found it and-and he confronted me about it,” she said, gasping again between her broken cries.

The notebook. That book. And finally it started to sink in just what had taken place.

“What happened?” Tony asked, almost afraid to know.

“I had to tell him, he demanded to know what it was about. He-he started panicking and crying and he just...oh God Tony he didn’t take it well at all,” May said. “I didn’t know what to say so I just told him everything. He knows, Peter knows I’m....” May trailed off, her voice panicked.

“May, I’m coming right now okay? I’ll talk to him,” Tony said, running a hand down his face.

“No, no I’m trying to tell you he started crying and then he ran. He was hysterical, I’ve never seen him like that before! He was crying and he just ran out the apartment!” May said and Tony froze once again. It felt like there was ice filling his veins.

“What?” He asked quietly. “You don’t know where he is?” He asked gravely.

“No! I-I…” May stuttered before breaking down into another series of broken teary sentences. “Tony he ran out of the apartment, he was in his pajamas. He didn’t even have shoes on. And it’s snowing, it’s storming outside,” May replied.

“I’ll find him. Just stay where you are. I’m sending Happy to wait with you, how long has he been gone for?”

For another short second May didn’t say anything. “May! How long as he been gone for?” He asked again.

“Almost an hour,” she said. “I thought maybe he’d come back but...please please find him.”

“I will, just stay be your cell phone. He might call.” Tony said, stepping inside the iron armor before running to the landing.

“He doesn't have his phone, he can’t call,” May whispered and Tony swore.

He didn’t know how much time he had but he wouldn't stop until he found his kid. No suit, no shoes, no phone. He didn’t know how he was going to do it. But he would.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one is a bit short! Thank you so much for reading though and I hope you enjoy it! I was little worried about this chapter but maybe it won't be terrible! <3 Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos, they mean everything!

“Bruce? How much time do we have?” Tony asked into the comm as he flew just above the buildings of New York. Despite the cities bright lights, sleet pelted down harshly against the skyline making everything feel darker.

“Time?” Bruce asked in return. Tony had asked him to stay at the tower instead of joining the team on the search. He wouldn’t say it but he was afraid of the state they’d find Peter in. “What do you mean?”

“He’s been outside for over an hour. Given his physiology how much time does he have before he starts to experience hyperthermia?” Tony asked, trying hard to take a deep breath and not snap.

He’d never wanted to call on the team for help. But the city was huge and time wasn’t on Tony’s side at the moment. The more ground that could be covered the better his chances of finding Peter were. And finding Peter wasn’t an option. So he’d done the only thing he could think of, he called the team.

Deep down he knew they would help but there was a hidden fear that they wouldn’t. There was a fear that they wouldn’t be there when he needed them the most. But those fears had been proven wrong when they had geared up and made it to Queens within twenty minutes of his call. Nobody had said no, nor had they lectured him. They simply showed up, ready to help.

“You said he wasn’t dressed for the weather?” Bruce asked quietly. “These conditions are dangerous for anyone. Considering Peter’s body struggles to keep itself warm and the fact that he’s not wearing any layers? Let’s just say we should have found him fifteen minutes ago.”

The comm stayed quiet after that. Tony didn’t want to think about numbers or percentages but he couldn’t help himself. Peter couldn’t withstand the elements for long. He kept thinking about how cold he must be or if he would go inside if it got too bad. Maybe he’d go inside a store, he was smart...he’d do that right?

“FRIDAY,” Tony said. “You still scanning the area and the cameras?” Tony asked after a moment.

“Yes Sir, I haven’t come across his heat signature and there are no matches to my facial recognition scans,” the AI said.

“Keep looking,” he said as he opted to fly a little lower. Sam wasn’t far, doing the same thing as Tony. Steve, Natasha, and Clint were searching on foot while Vision and Wanda were at the compound in case he showed up there.

It was such a big city, it had never felt as huge as it had right then to Tony. Every building, every alley, every corner to hide in had never stood out to the man until then. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if the rest of the Avengers hadn’t been there. Of course he would have kept searching but it might have felt a little more hopeless.

He looked at the time and hissed. Peter had been out for an hour and thirty minutes and Tony wasn’t sure if they were any closer to finding him. The sleet kept coming down and the temperature was steadily dropping. Tony wanted to scream in frustration but he stayed silent. He needed to focus, Peter needed him to be vigilant and focused and he needed a clear head to do that.

Tony was starting to consider getting the local police involved. Simply because he was becoming more and more panicked. He knew they couldn’t do anymore than they were doing right then but the fear was starting to suffocate him. He needed to find his kid. Right before he opened his mouth to suggest it, Sam’s voice crackled through the comm. “I’ve got a visual on him. He’s on 4th Avenue on top of a building. Do you want to me go in?” Sam asked.

More than anything Tony felt a sense of relief. If he hadn’t been flying his knees might have went weak. But along with that relief came the anxiousness. Finding Peter was only the first step in trying to put all the pieces back together. The hard part was far from over.

“No, no,” Tony spoke quickly. “I’ve got him. Thank you I’ve-I’ve got him,” Tony stumbled over his words as he sped up towards the location. “I’m taking him back to the tower, Bruce if I need you can you meet in the medical unit? I don’t know how cold he’s going to be.”

“If he’s been outside all this time he’s going to be cold, Tony. Probably even in the first stages of hyperemia. Be fast about all this,” Bruce said evenly.

The problem was that Tony didn’t know how angry the teen was or if he was going to refuse to go with Tony willingly. The cold would no doubt slow him down but May said he’d been hysterical when he’d left. That would change his behavior drastically.

“Tony,” Steve started carefully. “Would you mind it if we went back to the tower with you? I know you probably have to the situation handled but...we do care about Peter,” Steve said. “I think it would make us all feel a little better to know that he’s alright.”

“What Cap means, is that nobody is going to be getting any sleep until we know the kid is okay,” Clint spoke up. “He’s kind of grown on us, you know. And we’ve all got a bit of field medic training, we might be able to help.”

For a second Tony didn’t say anything. He couldn’t even decide if they were stepping over any lines he had created or not. The words felt stale in his mouth and they felt wrong but he needed to force them out. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able convince him to come down willingly. I might need to use any means possible. I don’t care if you come to the tower but for the time being, don’t get too far. FRIDAY, send Happy to the my location with the car. I’ll let you know as soon as we’re off the roof.”

He’d do whatever it took to get Peter down, even if he fought him on it. Peter was too important.

Tony hadn’t told them what had happened or what Peter knew. Nobody had asked either. That was all secondary, finding Peter was the main priority. And finally. Finally. Tony had found him, his heart clinched in his chest again as he landed on the roof, finally spotting the teen.

“Peter?” Tony started carefully, raising his faceplate to address the kid. He knew he didn't need the iron suit, he needed Tony. But the man felt like it was almost a risk to step completely out of it. He just wanted to get Peter inside. “Kid, what are you doing? We need to get you inside, you’re going to freeze to death out here.”

Dear God, Peter already looked like he was starting to turn blue. He looked terrible with his red rimmed eyes, his shivering frame, and the frantic look about him. The teen was wet from the frozen rain and his teeth were chattering together but his eyes had refused to meet Tony’s.

Tony wasn’t even sure how the kid was still standing on his own two feet though. He looked so pale and cold that all Tony wanted was to reach out and pull him closer. He wanted to keep every bit of cold from ever touching Peter again.

“Peter?” Tony tried again carefully. “I know what happened was bad and we’re going to talk about it but I need you to come down with me,” Tony said softly. Peter was just a little too close to the edge for comfort, even if he could stick to walls it made Tony incredibly nervous.

Peter continued to shiver violently but his eyebrows furrowed together and he slowly he looked up at Tony with a glare. “You withheld information,” he whispered. “You lied to me, both of you. What happened to all that commutation you preached about?”

“I didn’t…” Tony started but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. How could he tell Peter that he hadn’t lied when just not too long ago he’d lectured him about keeping information secretive. “I know,” he finally muttered. “But you have to understand, Pete. Do you remember when I told you that things weren’t always black and white. There is a lot of gray and sometimes...sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons. I-we had the best of intentions.”

“How was keeping the fact that she had cancer from me the right thing?” Peter asked, tilting his head at Tony while he shook his head. “She said she’s going to die! You both knew and-and you didn’t think that maybe I needed to know to?! How could you sit there and tell me not to lie to you, not to embellish the truth when you were doing it all along?”

“Telling you was always the plan, I promise you that,” Tony said taking a few steps towards the shivering teen, only to have Peter take two steps back. “I’m not putting this all back on May, I’m really not. But I couldn’t go against her wishes. Kid...I felt like it was out of my hands. This was her secret, not mine.”

“And you kept it so easily,” Pete said as his eyes fell back to the ground. They were so high up and it was starting to make Tony nervous. Surly Peter wouldn’t do anything stupid? The elevated height just added an unnecessary element to the situation.

“You were spending all this time with me and I thought maybe…” The teen scoffed before shaking his head again. “I thought maybe you actually cared about me you know?” He sniffled miserable before looking back at Tony. “For a minute I thought you actually wanted to be around me. No, you just did it all because May asked. Did you feel bad for me or something, did you pity me?”

It hurt. It hurt so much that Tony didn’t know how to process it. It made every muscle in his body tense up and his chest start to constrict. Peter doubted the idea that Tony wanted to be in his life. “No,” he snapped, holding his finger up and pointing it at the teen. “Don’t you, for one second, think that I don't want you. This is so far from pity. I might have known she was sick and what her wishes were, but I don’t or have I ever spent time with you because of pity. You don’t understand, Pete.”

“No, you don’t understand! Nobody wants me!” Peter snapped back, taking another step further from Tony. Too close to the edge for the man’s liking. “Nobody wants me they just get stuck with me! First May and Ben and now you.”

“That’s not true,” Tony said softly. “I want you. I never once doubted that,” He might have doubted his ability to care for a teenager but he never doubted the fact that he wanted Peter and that was the honest truth. “I know you’re angry and I know you’re hurt and I can’t pretend that this can all be fixed in a matter of minutes. But you have to come down, we have to go inside. It’s too cold out here.”

“No,” Peter said as tears started to fall. “No, I’m not going inside. I don’t care if it’s cold, I don’t care what happens to me anymore.” The look in Peter’s eyes scared Tony beyond belief. There was a hopelessness that he’d never seen before, something he never wanted to witness again. He wasn’t sure how to each him.

“I’m ready to drag you kicking and screaming,” Tony said taking long strides towards the teen. “I’m ready to do whatever I have to, Peter.” He’d force Peter down if it meant saving his life, he’d call Cap to use his strength against him if that’s what needed to be done. He wasn’t going to lose his kid. Ever.

“Why,” the teen mumbled. “Why does it matter now? May is going die and I’m going to be alone! All alone this time, with nobody!” Peter exclaimed while Tony inched even closer to him.

“You’ve got me,” Tony said lowly. “You’ve got me and you’re always going to have me no matter how you feel about it. I-I…” Tony hesitated for a moment before continuing. “When I look at you I think of you like my son, my kid. Do you understand that? I look at you like your mine. I love you, Peter.”

Tony could count the people he’d said those words to on one hand. For once he wasn’t thinking about how vulnerable he’d made himself, because everything he’d said in the span of those few minutes were true. He loved the kid like his very own.

“What if you die too!?” Peter asked suddenly, the tears falling as quick and as harsh as the sleet now. “Everyone who loves me dies, what if you’re gonna die too?”

“Pete, Underoos….” Tony said as he was finally close enough to reach out and grab the teen. What he hadn’t expected was for Peter to let him pull him into his chest without much of a fight. He knew Peter was freezing, even if he could exactly feel him under the suit. “Let me make this perfectly clear. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. It’s me and you kid, I’m in it for the long haul. Not because May asked me to, not because I’m responsible for you. Because I want to.”

Peter started to sob. His arms wrapped around Tony and let himself fall apart against the metal. “I don’t want her to go, Mr. Stark. I don’t want her to go.” Peter’s breathing was shaky and labored, Tony was sure he was going to hyperventilate if he didn’t starting inhaling properly. “Please don’t let be alone. I’m scared.” He wished now he would have stepped out of the suit, so he could pull Peter even close.

“I’m right here. I’m always right here. You’re never going to be alone, you’ll never have to worry about that,” Tony said while Peter held on tighter, his body shaking from the cold and the sobbing. The older man tucked the teen’s head under his chin and continued to keep him as close as possible. “We have to get down, okay? Happy’s going to be waiting for us.”

“I’m still angry,” Peter said, not bothering to reply to Tony’s original statement. “But I’m ready to go inside now,” he whispered.

Tony hadn’t let Peter climb down the building himself. Instead he carried him back to the ground level. He was reluctant to even let the kid step back down onto the concrete because of his lack of shoes. But thankfully Happy was right there and it was only one short step from the ground into the back of the heated car.

Tony had noticed something when finally stepped out of the iron man armor. He’d left his comm line open, he’d never turned it off. Instead of dwelling on it, he sent the team a message, letting them know that he had Peter and they were going back to the tower. After that he sent the suit home while he climbed into the he back with Peter.

“Happy, can this heater go any higher?” He asked while Peter curled up into a ball. “We’re going to get you warm okay? Just hold tight, we’ll be back at the tower in a minute.”

Peter didn’t say anything, his crying and slowed some but was still sniffling softly and trying to keep himself as composed as he could. Tony, once again, wrapped his arm around the teen and pulled him close. “It’s okay going to be, I’m right here” Tony promised again. Determined to make sure that he kept that promise.

 

**   
Tony knew the team was somewhere in the tower but for the time being they had made themselves scarce. Tony debated on if he wanted Bruce to look him over or not but FRIDAY had assured the man that while Peter’s vitals weren’t perfect, they could be easily be improved. She had sent the memo and his stats to Bruce who in return agreed with the AI.

“Just keep him warm for now, with a heated blanket on medium, nothing too hot. Then get him something warm to drink and let him rest.” Bruce had said when Tony had given him a report.

The first thing he did when he got them insides was hurry Peter to the penthouse. “Sit here, I’m going to get you something hot to drink and a new change of clothes,” Tony said.

His core temperature was low but thankfully they wouldn’t need internal heating methods. He knew they weren't out of the woods yet but he’d do what he could and if he couldn’t get Peter warm, then he’d call Bruce back.

Tony had opted on hot chocolate. Bruce had said something warm and sugary would work well. After that he grabbed an electric blanket and Peter’s pajamas before he headed back to the lounge area where he’d left the teen. He sat the mug down on the coffee table before helping Peter peel of his wet clothes.

“Jesus,” Tony mumbled as he pulled off Peter’s shirt for him. His skin was like ice and Tony was morbidly reminded that internally Peter was just as cold. “FRIDAY are you sure his core temp is high enough?” Tony asked again, wanting to make sure that there hadn’t been a mistake.

“I’m positive, sir,” FRIDAY said calmly. “While Mr. Parker’s skin is cold to the touch, he is not cold blooded himself. While his body has a difficult time creating and maintaining a proper temperature, that function works on a minimum level.”

“I’m not cold blooded,” Peter mumbled. “You’re thinking of lizards and stuff, reptiles,” the teen said while he started to pull his soaked sweats off. “Turn around?” Peter asked through chattering teeth. As soon as Tony did he could hear Peter shuffling out of the rest of his wet clothing and pulling on the dry. “Okay,” he said softly.

“I know you aren’t a lizard,” Tony sighed. “I just worry.” He turned around and took Peter’s frozen articles from him before wrapping the teen up in the heated blanket and handed him the mug. He was about to go fix some coffee for himself but first he needed to call May. “Pete?” Tony asked as he took a seat on the sofa next to him.

“Yeah?” He mumbled as he stared down into his chocolate drink.

“Do you want to talk to May tonight? Or do would you rather wait until morning. I know you’re cold and tired, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Peter sighed heavily but he never said a word. Tony wondered if maybe he was still in shock. He thought his brain might still be processing everything that was happening. It felt like minutes had gone by, Tony started to think the kid hadn’t heard him or something. But finally Peter spoke up again. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”

It wasn’t what Tony asked him and it was seemingly an out of place question. But Tony answered nonetheless. “Of course I mean it,” he said. “I’ll say it again if you want me to.”

“No I just...I wanted to say it back,” the teen mumbled. “I didn’t say it back on the roof so I want to say it now,” Peter said. “I love you too. And if you don’t mind, can I please just talk to May tomorrow? I’m not...I don’t think I can talk to her yet without yelling. And it doesn’t make any sense because I love her and I’m afraid but...I think I’d yell and I don’t want to do that,” Peter said, saying more than he had since they gotten off the roof.

“I understand,” Tony said nodding agreement. “I need to let her know you’re safe though. You think you’ll be alright here for a minute, just until I can get ahold of her?”

Peter simply nodded in response before Tony left him to make that dreaded phone call. At least May would know that the kid was okay.

Tony traveled down to his workshop, asking FRIDAY to keep an eye on Peter until he got back. He stared out at the large shop for a moment before he pulled up a stool and took a seat. Instantly he grabbed his phone and found her in his contacts. He held his cell up to his ears as he listened. It was on the first ring that she picked up.

“You found him didn't you?” May asked, her voice cracking once again. “Please tell me you have him.”

“Relax, May. He’s here, he’s cold but he’s getting warmed up now. He’s alright,” Tony muttered evenly. “He just wants to sleep for tonight though. I figured we could give him a few hours before you come over...I thought we could speak to him together. It’s been a long night, I think it’s best if we let him sleep this off and I’ll have Happy pick you up first thing in the morning.”

“He doesn’t want to see me?” May asked, her voice sounding so hurt that Tony had to close his eyes to keep his own composer.

“It’s not that,” he insisted. “He doesn’t want to yell at you. He’s angry, not just at you but at me too. I think we need to give him a couple hours to let this all sink in. I think my morning he’ll be willing to have a more civilized conversation with everyone.”

“I guess if that’s what I need to do then,” May whispered. “You’re sure he’s safe? He’s warm right, is he hurt?”

“He’s okay, May,” Tony said again. “He’s cold but it’s not so bad that we can’t get him warm with some blankets and some hot chocolate. I’m watching him closely, I’ve got his vitals being monitored and a doctor is here hiding out in my tower somewhere. I can assure that he’s in good hands. I’ve got my eyes on him.”

“Okay,” she mumbled, still sounding sad and lost. Tony didn’t know what to do though, Peter had asked him to wait and he’d spent so many days keeping May’s secret from him. It had felt like going behind Peter’s back in a way, the least he could do now was honor his wishes some. “First thing tomorrow.”

“Eight, how does that sound?” Tony asked and she hummed in agreement. “Don’t get upset, he’s just hurt and confused right now. He’ll be asking for you by seven, I promise,” Tony said. “Try to get some sleep. He’s safe now.”

They said a quick goodbye before Tony ended the call. Instantly he was back in the elevator heading up towards his common area. “FRIDAY?” Tony asked. “The team, they’re here aren’t they?” Tony asked. He needed to be sure since he hadn’t seen them since he’d gotten back.

“Yes sir,” FRIDAY responded. “They’re on the 21st floor. Should I tell them to expect you?”

“Maybe here shortly, I need to make sure Pete is okay first.

 

**   
Tony had planned on going to thank the group again for their help, Lord knows he owed it to them. However, the wasn’t exactly how things turned out.

He’d kept Peter tucked comfortably on the sofa with the electric blanket going strong. It seemed to take a few hours but eventually his temperature started to climb, slowly but surely. Tony had decided to grab the large ottoman to prop his feet up while Peter stretched out, letting his head rest against a pillow that was in Tony’s lap.

Comfortable and safe, that was the only way Tony could describe it. Because eventually Peter fell asleep and he was too drained from worry and fear to keep his own eyes open any longer. So Tony let himself do the same.

Even though the two had fallen asleep, safe and sound, the team was left worrying about how Peter was if and Tony needed anything.

FRIDAY had happily showed the team of superheroes the live video feed from the penthouse living room when the group requested it. Bruce and Steve had insisted on making sure they were okay but given the fact that they had heard the conversation between Peter and Tony on the roof, they decided against disturbing them.

Instead they had used the AI to find out everything they needed to know. Peter and Tony had both fallen asleep on the sofa cuddled up together. Suddenly they were all glad they hadn’t asked FRIDAY to wake the up. It was a sweet scene but there was underlying sadness behind it all.

“We should head home,” Clint said after FRIDAY had ended the feed projection. “Peter’s safe and they’re both asleep. I think that’s as much as we can expect for tonight,” the man mumbled while the rest of them agreed silently.

The AI allowed them to leave, assuring them that Tony wouldn’t be woken up until tomorrow and she wouldn’t disturb them. It allowed them to exit the building. They needed to catch up on some rest, it had been an exhausting night. The small group felt the same as they left.

Each of them having a heavy heart but there was more to it than that. There was something else there too, however. A newfound respect for Tony’s relationship with Peter and an understanding of the lengths he’d go to for the boy.

**

  
Usually it was FRIDAY who woke Peter up on the days he spent the night at the tower. That morning, however, it was a warm hand gently urging him awake. Slowly he opened his eyes and turned over, he was greeted with the sight of Tony looking slightly ruffled but still somehow put together.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked around a yawn. For a few blissful seconds he had forgotten everything from the night before. His first thoughts weren't of May or how he’d ran away and climbed on top of the highest building he could find. All he thought about was how familiar everything felt.

But as he blinked away the sleep in his eyes, he could process Tony’s worried expression and everything came flooding back to him. “Hey, Kiddie, May’s here. You gotta get up. I’ve got breakfast on the table for you.”

“We’re having breakfast?” He mumbled, finally forcing himself to sit up before rubbing again at his eyes. “I thought…” He trailed off, realizing he wasn’t exactly sure what he expected to happen.

“I’ve found that taking over food helps,” the man said with a weary smile. “She’s been here for a minute, don’t worry. Everyone’s already had their coffee.”

“I thought we went to bed on the sofa,” Peter mumbled absentmindedly. He wasn’t eager to talk with anyone but he knew he couldn’t avoid it. That and a bigger part of him wanted to see May and apologize for how he’d acted last night. He was on the irrational side of things. “How did I get to bed?”

“I’ve got my ways,” Tony said with a soft smirk. “Come on now, you can get dressed later, come eat.”

“I can eat in pajamas today?” Peter asked skeptically. Not that it had ever been a rule that Peter couldn’t eat in his pajamas but Tony had always reminded him that the day was never started until he was dressed.

“I’ll give you a pass this time,” Tony said, affectionately ruffling his hair some. “Don’t keep your aunt waiting okay, she’s been here since six,”

Peter slowly glanced over at the clock and sighed. It was already eight. “Okay, I’m coming.”

Tony had given Peter a few minutes to fully wake up and get his bearings but it wasn’t long before he was following the man down the hall to the living area. Just like he’d said May was there sitting at the table with a mug in her hand. Instantly though she stood up as soon as she spotted the sleepy teen.

“Peter, baby, are you okay? You scared me last night,” she said, rushing over to him and pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m okay,” Peter whispered as he buried his face into her shoulder. He just wanted to remember the smell of her shampoo and the light flowery perfume she always wore. Peter never wanted to forget what it felt like to feel so protected and loved in her arms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn't have ran off.”

“Don’t apologize, all I care about is that you’re safe” she whispered back, holding him just a little tighter before finally letting him okay. “I know it was...I know this isn’t the way I wanted to have done things and I’m sorry you found out like this. But we need to talk, you, Tony, me. We have to communicate okay?”

“Okay,” Peter nodded before following the two back to the table. Peter didn’t question why he was the only one with a breakfast plate. He liked to think that they had eaten before he had, not that either of them felt too sick and nervous to be hungry.

Tony took a seat beside him while May sat opposite to him. Peter sighed softly before he picked up his fork and pushed some of his eggs around but so far he hadn’t said anything. The tension was so thick he could feel it.

“Like I told you last night, I’m really sick Pete. And not the kind of sick that gets better,” May said after a long couple of minutes. Peter quickly sat his fork down, he didn’t feel like eating either.

“I know,” he nodded slowly, his eyes falling back down to the table. “Does that mean you aren’t even going to try to get chemo?”

Why hadn’t he noticed it before? How much weight May had been losing or how her color had been off. Was that what his sixth sense had been warning him about? Peter wouldn’t have been surprised. Now that he looked at her, truly looked at her, he could see the difference. She wasn’t bright like she use to be. She still smiled and talked with her usual cheerful tone but she had dulled some. Like she was suddenly whitewashed and faded.

“No, Peter, I don’t think that's the right thing to do. I don’t think it can help me and the doctors don’t think it’s going to do much either,” May said softly. “Do you remember how I told you about my father? I told you about how he had cancer. Well this is the same kind.”

“You told me he had a really hard time because of how sick treatments made him,” Peter said with a short nod before grabbing his glass of orange juice and taking a sip.

“Yeah, he did. He was so sick and it hurt to watch him suffer like that. I knew if it wasn’t for me and my mother he wouldn’t have done it,” May reached across the table and grabbed Peter’s hand, forcing him to look up at her.” And I don’t want you to misunderstand, okay? This isn’t me giving up or me deciding not to do treatment because I don’t love you or care about you as much, you mean everything to me.”

“Then why aren’t you doing it?” Peter asked softly. “If it means you could live longer why wouldn’t you do it?”

“Because it doesn’t mean I’m going to live longer, it doesn’t give me anymore time,” May explained. “When I think of my father I think of really happy memories. But I also think about the end of his life and terrible was. I think about that and how I wish he just…” May had to take a deep breath, blinking sharply to fight off the tears. “My father was very sick and some of the last memories I have are of him hurting and miserable and unable to do even the smallest thing for himself. I think about how probably didn’t think he had any dignity left at all. I didn’t want him to be in all that pain, he didn’t need to do that for me….”

“Not that May isn’t willing to do that for you,” Tony added from Peter’s side. “It’s just a moot point, you understand what we’re getting at?” He asked carefully.

“I think…” Peter tailed off, looking at Tony with worry. Because he really wasn’t sure at all.

“I would do anything for you, I’d do whatever it took to be with you for as long as I could. Painful and miserable or not. But in the end, Peter. Any kind of treatment we look at isn’t going to stop the cancer. There is no cure and I don’t want you to remember me like I remember my dad. I want to use this time I have with you to enjoy you. I don’t want to rush to treatments or throw up everyday or not be able to get up in the mornings and see you. I want things to be as normal as possible for as long as the can be.”

It started to sink in for Peter right then. May would do anything for him. And she would if it would make a difference. But not getting chemo and radiation was the lesser of the two evils. Because she seemed to be dying either way. He rubbed harshly at his eyes as he felt the familiar sting. “What am I going to without you?” Peter asked, forcing his voice not to crack.

“I don’t want you to worry about what’s going to happen to you. You’ll go straight to Mr. Stark. You know that, Peter,” May said softly. “He’s already got the legal process completed, it won’t even be an issue for you.”

That wasn’t what Peter had meant. What would he /do/ without her?

“That is what you want though, right Pete?” Tony asked hesitantly. “If you don't like the arrangements you can tell us. We’ll figure something else out, you don’t have to live with me. And if you didn’t want that, it would be okay still, you could still come over and do labs with me and we’ll still see each other every weekend, I wouldn’t be angry at you.”

“No!” Peter said quickly, dropping his fork and jolting up straight. “Please I don’t want to go with anyone put you,” Peter said. “You wouldn’t send me with anyone but Tony right?”

“Pete, it’s okay!” May said quickly. “I promise, Tony is the one with custody rights after I pass away. I won’t send you to anyone but him.”

Pass away. Those were the words that started to break Peter.

“You can look at the will yourself, everything is already sorted out,” May whispered and Peter started to cry again.

Again May was up out of her seat and instead taking the one next to Peter so that she could wrap him in her arms. “It’s okay,” she said gently, shushing him softly. “Everything is going to be okay, you’ll see.”

“How?” Peter asked, shaking his head in dismay. “You’re leaving me.”

“Hey,” May said seriously, using hand to gently push Peter’s face up. “I’m not leaving you. I know this isn’t fair to you but you know I’d never you leave. You’ll always have me, it’s going to be hard but I promise everything will be okay.”

“Are you really going to die?” Peter whispered, choking on his sobs.

“Let’s not think about that, all life comes to an end someday. For now let's think about how we’re here, right now...together.”

They didn't talk about much else. Besides the fact that they /strongly/ wanted for Peter to get some consularling. The two had agreed that they wouldn’t make Peter go until he was ready but they thought it was a good idea.

The looked very much like concerned parents. He had one adult on each side of him trying to comfort and console him while he sniffled in the middle. Therapy? It sounded like something he wanted no part in. But he kept his mouth shut for the time being. He didn’t even want to think about May passing away. He still couldn’t fathom it, it didn’t seem real. It was like he was still fast asleep and any minute he’d wake up and it would all be just a bad dream.

Things never really worked at that way though.

Tony and May talked to the teen about how he’d stay at Midtown, how nothing would change for the time being. And they promised that things wouldn’t change drastically even afterwards. May had said not a whole lot would be different. Expect of course everything. It would be Tony there at dinner with him every night, it would be Tony making sure he kept his grades up and Tony who would sit up and eat take out with him.

Peter couldn’t count how many tears he let fall. They wouldn’t get to eat take out together anymore and she wouldn't’ got to his decathlon matches anymore, she wouldn’t hug him good night or kiss him on the forehead in the mornings. Everything would be different, no matter how hard they tried to keep things the same.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all again so much! Sorry this took a while to get out hopefully I'll have the last chapter out faster! But I wanted to tell you all how much it means to have you comment and read and leave kudos!

January was probably the coldest month of the year, it made December shy in comparison with it’s sharp winds and it’s never ending chill. Even with that common knowledge Peter couldn’t remember a time January had ever felt so cold and empty. The cold seemed to have sunken into his bones and he couldn’t remember what summer felt like.

Maybe it was the fact that he couldn’t keep himself warm half the time but he knew it was more. Every time he looked at May he knew it wasn’t the weather keeping he frozen. Who could blame him? She looked skinner every day, not just skinny but sickly thin and her paler had taken on an almost yellow completion.

She said it was normal but it was only normal for someone who was dying from her disease. She couldn’t stand for more than fifteen maybe twenty minutes at a time. She was out of breath and she slept more and more. Peter didn’t know how he was meant to feel anymore.

He wanted to grieve but she wasn’t dead, she was still right there. They still had conversations and she could still hold him and kiss him goodnight. But the days, no matter how badly Peter tried to forget, were numbered. She was like the living dead. May was there, breathing, living and existing but she was also actively dying.

A nurse came in every week to check on her. She’d take her vitals and ask her questions about her daily actives. Other people came too, case workers and people who helped with her care. Like the woman who helped set up her medication. Peter did what he could to make a difference. Sometimes though he still felt useless.

It was hard for May to keep up on the house work so Peter did as much as he could. He loaded the dishwasher and kept up on the trash. He dusted and vacuumed and made both their beds everyday. And he pretended he didn’t see the guilty looks May sent him from time to time. Like she might have been embarrassed that she couldn’t do the little things she once could.

Every week there was a little less she could do and Peter didn’t know how he could be strong enough for both of them. He could do the chores without complaint and he could try hard to run errands. It was so unlike May, she use to be out all day and still have energy to cook and clean by the time she got home. They didn’t talk about it when May started having their groceries delivered.

“Peter,” May sighed as she sat down her coffee. “I love you dearly but it’s been three weeks since you’ve spent the night with Tony. You need to go this weekend, I don’t want you in the house like this.”

“What?” Peter asked his eyebrows shooting up in question. He was doing his best to finish his waffles but lately he hadn’t had much of an appetite. Another thing that had changed was the cooking. They ordered out more and more. Any other kind of meal was either frozen and straight from the box or it had a minimum prep time. May just couldn’t stand long enough to cook much. Peter wasn’t sure how many more frozen waffles he could choke down for breakfast.

“You heard me. You need to go visit Tony this weekend. Not just for a couple hours either. The weekend, Pete,” May said, her voice holding no room for arguments. “You aren’t getting out enough. I don't’ want you cooped up all the time.”

“I get out plenty!” Peter said quickly, trying to convince her. “I patrol and I go to school and I visit Mr. Stark. I just haven’t spent the night in a while.”

“Since when has school counted as an outing? And I know your going out as Spiderman less and less. You were home by six last night. I use to have to force you to be in by eleven. And three hours a week at the tower isn’t nearly enough.”

“You’re going to force me to go? Like mandated visitation rights?” Peter asked, trying to keep his tone light and joking. But he couldn’t find any humor in his aunt’s eyes.

“Please don’t make yourself miserable because you’re worried about me. This isn’t what I want,” May mumbled.

“Maybe it’s what I want,” Peter muttered and his eyes dropped to the table. “What if you need me or something and I’m not home? And I’m not miserable.”

“Then I would call you or I’d call Tony. Or I’d call my nurse or the resource number I have. Pete I’ve got plenty of options. And don’t lie, I can see it all over your face. I know you’ve been struggling…” May trailed off for a moment before sighing. “I love you and you know I hate how hard it is some days for you.”

“Yeah but what if you need me right then? What if there is an emergency and I can’t get to you fast enough?” Peter countered, trying to make her see his point of view. “Really May being home with you doesn’t bother me.”

What if May needed him? He should be there, he should be just a couple feet away at all times. Even at school he was starting to get nervous, wondering if she was okay alone at the apartment. What if she fell or got sick or something like that?

“Hey,” May said giving her nephew a soft look. “I’ll be fine. 911 still exists and I assure you nothing bad is going to happen in the span of two days. Not that I don’t love being around you, I just don’t think it’s healthy for you. You need to go out and do things, have fun, be a kid. It’s not your job to take care of me.”

“I don’t care,” Peter said quickly. “Helping you doesn’t bother me! I love you May, I’ll always take care of you no matter what.”

“I know that,” May said softly with a small smile. She certainly had raised an amazing kid. “I know you’re worried and I know I get tired easily. I can’t do as much as I use to but that doesn’t mean I can’t look after myself for a couple days. The world is hardly going to come to an end if I stay home, eat pizza, ignore the laundry and watch movies in bed.” Which wasn’t far off from what May could do most of the time.

“You’d call me if you needed me right?” Peter asked hesitantly. She could be stubborn at times and Peter doubted he’d be the first one she asked if she needed help.

“Of course,” she answered, regardless if it was true or not. “In fact I talked to Tony today, I think we’re going to go have lunch with him and then maybe stop at the store,” She said easily.

“Are you up for all that?” Peter asked, not able to make his surprise or his worry. It had been a while since May had the energy to do more than a couple things in one day. She did good to carry out average typical tasks.

“Pete,” May said trying to fight a sigh. “I’m sick yes but I’m not going to spend all my time inside either. Just like I won’t let you. I’m still a capable functioning adult. Maybe a little slower but still able. So why don’t you get your stuff ready, we’re going to go have a nice lunch with Tony, do a few more things, and then he’s dropping me off and you’re spending the weekend. Understood?” She asked, narrowing her eyes playfully.

“Yeah, understood,” Peter said offering her the smallest smile back. It didn’t really meet his eyes though.

**   
May could only express a fraction of the fear she felt for Peter to the teen himself. Usually all her worries were reserved for Tony. The man had promised her that he hadn’t taken it personally when Peter continued to cancel their weekends together. May was an expert though and she could pick up on his carefully hidden disappointment.

“I'm worried about him,” May had told Tony one day over the phone while Peter was in class. “It’s not just the weekends he’s missing it’s everything. He hasn’t been to Ned’s house in a month, his patrols are shorter than ever, and he hasn’t come out and said it but I think he quit decathlon.”

“I know it’s hard right now, he just wants to be with you is all,” Tony sighed over the line, hoping that maybe he could reassure May. But he didn’t have the answers either. He knew Peter wanted to be there for May but he couldn’t just hold himself up at home day in and day out.

“I don’t know how to fix all of this for him,” the woman whispered. “He acts like...like I’m already gone some days. I don’t know how to reach him, it feels like he’s slipping further and further away but I don’t see how when I can’t even get him to leave long enough to go see his friends.”

“We’ll just do the best we can for him. Just keep encouraging him to go out,” Tony said feeling his own heart sink.

“I want everything to back to the way it was before, for him you know? I know this doesn’t make any sense to him but I want him to be the normal happy kid I know.”

“I don’t know if things can go back to the way they were before, May,” Tony said softly. “Death makes things different. Even if you’re still here he knows what to expect.”

“You mean what’s coming?” May asked trying to keep herself from sounding bitter. “I can’t stop from thinking about what I could have done differently. Maybe if I had ate better of if I had paid more attention to the medicines I’ve taken over the years. Like maybe some kind of bad antibiotic? Or...if I had exercised more? Or I should have used the microwave less,” May added with a short humorless laugh.

“May, you can't blame yourself. Healthy people get sick. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you do the best you can. It’s out of your control.”

“You still think telling him was the best thing?” She asked after a few short seconds. “I’m sorry, it’s just been hard.”

“Yeah, I still think it was the best thing to do for him. We always knew the outcome wouldn’t be pleasant but I can’t imagine what it would have done to him if you hadn't.”

“I know, I only wish it was easier,” May said after a moment.

“Don’t feel obligated but I did have a bit of an idea. It’s not much but I thought maybe it would give him a distraction. I can’t say that anything Is going to make Peter feel better but if we can keep him grounded and open that might be a step in the right direction.

“An idea?” May asked. “What kind of idea?”

“Has the kid ever had a pet before?”

There was a small split second of slice before May went on to stay. “No, nothing besides a goldfish. Why?”

“I think it’s time we upgraded from fish yeah? That is if your on board with it.”

That conversation was what lead them to their last destination. First lunch and then a surprise trip to the shelter. Tony was sure Pete would love it. Of course it would stay at the tower seeing as how anything and everything made May sneeze but it was something Peter could look forward to again. At least they hoped it would be.

*

Instead of having Happy pick them up at the apartment Tony showed up in his most average looking car. Which was still far nicer than most of the cars that were parked in front of their apartment complex.

May had made sure that Peter had grabbed everything he needed. His phone charger and his book bag for any homework he needed to take care of. Besides that though there wasn’t much else he had to pack. He had a complete room at the tower, a closet full of clothes, a stocked bathroom, and just about everything else he could need.

Peter had insisted on helping May down the short steps from the apartment complex to Tony’s car. Afterwards he grabbed the front door for her and hurried to climb in back.

“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter said quietly as he and May buckled up.

“Hey Kid, you ready for some lunch? Anywhere you want to go, it’s on me,” Tony insisted as he started the engine back up and and headed out of the parking space.

“It’s okay, you can pick. I think we’ve just about ate at every restaurant around here ten times over.”

“May, any suggestions?” Tony asked, glancing over at the woman to right. “Anything you’re hungry for?”

May wanted to laugh but she shoved it down. She hadn’t been hungry for anything in over a month but she kept eating. Sometimes just so Peter wouldn’t worry. “Actually how about that nice little cafe? I think it’s called Awake? Some kind of strange name.”

“I know just the one,” Tony said with a short nod before heading the direction of the place. He spared the teen in the back a glance from the reviewer and fought off a sigh. Peter stared silently out the window as they drove, watching as the buildings and cars passed in a blur. “How you doing kid? I haven’t gotten to see you in forever, fill me in.”

“Sorry Mr. Stark,” Peter said sitting up a little straighter as he switched his attention to Tony. “It’s been okay, nothing interesting happened or anything. I’m sorry I haven't been around much,” the reason why was left unsaid but it hung heavy in the car.

“Don’t worry about it, I know things get busy. And you can’t just spend all your time hanging out with the coolest most interesting hero you know,” Tony joked.

The teen in the back rolled his eyes but both him and May could see the smile on his face. Small but there and that’s what mattered.

“I did good on all my finals, I got all my grades back. Ned and MJ are good, Patrols are good but things have been slow lately.”

May wondered how Peter could know if he’d hardly been out. Or how he knew how his friends were if the didn’t see them hardly. She didn’t question it though and instead her and Tony chatted idly the rest of the way.

Awake wasn’t too far and the parking looked great. May was almost proud of her choice but really she’d thought of the place because there were no steps to get up and down, that and she's knew they’d get close to the door. May had meant what she said to Peter about staying mobile but that didn’t mean it still wasn’t a choir.

Lunch had went as expected. Great service, especially when the staff realized who they were waiting on that day. Peter ate everything on his plate, something May hadn’t been able to get him to do in a few weeks. She’d opted on a grilled cheeses and some hot tea. That was about all she thought she could stomach. They talked but the unsaid words still lingered.

“So…” Tony started slowly looking around the table at the two of them. “I’m guessing nobody wants desert huh?”

Peter had looked like he’d struggled through his meal and May only just finished hers. Both of them shook their heads no just as quickly. Tony sighed inward before forcing a smile. Why did everything feel so tense?

“I think I’m about ready to head home, one more stop though right?” May asked watching Tony exceptingly.

“Oh yeah, I just have to pick up a few things for mine and Pete’s weekend. You ready kiddo?” Tony asked and Peter gave a small shrug. He’d never been so quiet before. Tony was hoping after their last destination he’d change that.

They made it back to the car without Peter questioning them on where they were going. But May could tell he was getting a little suspicious when they continued to drive. The city was huge and even though it was packed from block to block with different stores, they drove past each one.

“Where are we going?” Peter finally asked, piping up from the backseat.

“Oh just a place I know,” Tony said easily, just glancing at Peter in the mirror again. “We’re almost there.”

And that was true, a couple minutes later and finally they were pulling into the parking lot of one of New York’s biggest animal shelters. “Uh, Mr. Stark?” Peter questioned from the back. “I think something is wrong with your gps.”

“Nope,” Tony said finally as he parked the car and turned around to face the kid. “I’m in the right place.”

“The animal shelter?” Peter asked looking between him and May. “What are we doing here?”

“What everyone else is doing I assume,” Tony laughed and May joined in on the giggling. “It’s a bit of a surprise but May told me you’ve never owned a pet before. And you can’t exactly count fish so here we are.”

“You’re getting a pet?” Peter asked with wide eyes. There was the kid Tony knew and loved so well.

“Not him Pete, you,” May said gently. “You’re getting a pet, it’s going to stay at the tower with Tony of course but it’s yours. Whatever you want.”

“Really?” Peter asked again, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. “No joke?”

The two adults laughed again but they shook their heads. “No, kid. No jokes, you can pick out whatever you want. I mean, admittedly they probably only have cats and dogs. If you want something different we might have to try a different place.”

“No I want to go in! I love dogs or cats!” Peter said instantly, nearly bouncing in his seat. “I can’t believe I’m getting a pet! Can we go in?”

“Sure, I didn’t think you’d be able to pick from out here anyway,” Tony grinned, undoing his seatbelt and waiting for May and the teen to do the same.

Inside the building was almost overwhelming for Peter’s heightened senses. May could tell when he hesitated for just a second. The dogs were barking and people were talking loudly to be heard over them. They could even hear a couple cats meowing fairly loudly.

But Peter quickly righted himself and hurried into the back as soon as the man working in the front offered to show him the animals.

“Oh my God,” Peter muttered as he took in all the kennels. There were small dogs and big dogs. All kinds of mixed breeds. The only thing they all had in common was that they seemed to be happy to see Peter. Their tails wagged and they pawed excited at the cages. Peter didn’t know where to start so he hurried around the large halls greeting as many of the dogs as he could.

“Do you notice anything?” May asked lightly as Tony and her stood back to watch Peter. “This is a pop quiz alright, tell me what’s wrong about this picture?”

“I’ve got this,” Tony said confidently, folding his arms across his chest. “He’s looking at dogs.”

“But?” May started, raising her eyebrows.

“He’s always wanted a cat,” Tony finished, giving the woman a pointed smile. “I read your book, May.”

May laughed lightly but nodded in agreement. “Alright, you payed attention. But I think he thinks you like dogs better. He told me once that he pegged you as a dog person.”

“Hmm, I think I better go fix that,” Tony said as he started to stroll over to where Peter was crouched down. He looked like he was plenty happy watching the dogs but Tony didn’t just want the kid to be happy, he wanted him to be ecstatic.

May continued to stand back, watching the two fondly. Even if she was exhausted and starting to ache, it was so nice just to see how the pair interacted with each other. It gave her a sense of peace of she hadn’t know she needed.

Tony was hunched down with Peter, pointing to the bouncing poodle in the kennel, both of them laughing when the dog started to yap at them. The older man had ruffled Peter’s mop of hair before throwing his arm around him. Peter just looked up at him and smiled brightly. May could see Tony soften.

It was such a father and son moment and May almost felt like she was intruding. But it was one of the most reassuring things she’d witnessed. If she hadn’t known better she would have sworn that Peter was Tony’s threw and threw. They could be just another kid and his dad. May knew that they already were though. Deep down.

She was leaving her nephew in very capable hands.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony started. “What do you think about all these dogs. You’ve got a lot to pick from.”

“Yeah! There are so many here, I wish I could take them all home,” Peter said glancing towards the door at the end of the hall where he knew the cats were.

“You haven’t looked at the cats yet hough, we should check them out before you make up your mind,” Tony said and Peter shrank a bit.

“Cats?” Peter asked hesitantly. “Are you sure Mr. Stark? You don’t like dogs better? Usually people like dogs for pets. You kind of seem like a dog person you know.”

“Well, I’ve never had a pet so I’m not sure what kind of ‘person’ I am,” The man shrugged.

“You’ve never had a pet either?” Peter asked carefully. Like he couldn’t believe it was something him and Tony had in common. “Why not? Did you not want one?”

“Oh no I always wanted one. I just didn’t exactly have pet friendly parents. When I got older I just never made the effort to get one, they seemed like a lot of work and...I stayed kind of busy.”

“Your parents wouldn’t let you have one?” Peter repeatedly sadly. “I mean if May wasn’t allergic we probably would have gotten one but she always had a good reason. It would suck for her to have to sneeze all the time.”

“Yeah kid, my dad wasn’t exactly the nicest. I was probably ten when I asked him. He looked at me and said “Anthony, the answer is no and I better never hear you asking for an animal again. Don’t make me repeat myself,” Tony said, recalling the words his father had told him all those years ago. He still remembered them so clearly.

“So it’s kind of like we're getting our first pet together?” Peter suggested and Tony gave him a thoughtful look.

“I think you could say that, yeah,” Tony said. “And you know...I actually hear cats are good starter pets. They need a little less managing. Why don’t we go take a look.”

May forced herself to swallow back the knot in her throat as she watched the pair head towards the next hall without her. She watched them leave and instead of following she stayed put, knowing that everything would be fine.

Even if she found herself slightly jealous. She couldn’t follow Peter forever, he was going places she just couldn’t go. But Tony could. He would watch her nephew do incredible things. He would be the one Peter would eventually go to when he needed someone to keep him grounded him, or when he needed somebody to cry against, Tony would watch him graduate high school and go off to college and he would watch him get married and have kids of his own. And May wouldn’t.

The door swung shut behind the pair and May swiped at her eyes. There went her life but he was in good hands. That was all she could ask for.

Tony and Peter ended up picking out an orange kitten. May smiled despite herself when the pair came walking out with the squirming ball of fur. Peter’s face was bright and excited and he looked so much like the boy she’d been missing that May could almost forget that anything was wrong.

“Did you find the one?” She asked as Tony, Peter, and the man who had helped them followed her towards the front entrance.

“Oh yeah, it was love at first sight huh kid?” Tony asked while Peter stared down lovingly at the small animal in his hands.

“She was all alone in her cage,” Peter mumbled softly. “She came in orphaned,” he explained never looking up.

“Yeah, she’s had a rough start,” the other man said as he got the three of them sorted with paperwork. “It’s been a cold winter and we were surprised that she had made it. We tried to find her mom and siblings but the couple who brought her in said they didn’t think the rest made it.”

“That’s terrible,” May mumbled sadly as she watched Tony sign the simple documents stating that he understood the fees.

“I think she’s going to do just fine now though. We've really grown fond of her the last couple of weeks but it looks like she found someone who really loves her,” the man grinned, smiling at Peter who was still holding the little thing.

If that wasn’t a sign May didn’t know what was.

“Do you have a name, for her Pete? Or do you need some time to think about it?” May asked, reaching out to pet the kitten as well.

“Mm, I think she looks like a Beatrice,” he stated.

“Oh lord,” Tony mumbled not looking up from his papers but May could hear the smile in his voice. She laughed loudly, not bothering to question why Peter had picked such a name. It didn’t seem to matter.

**

In an ideal world May would have recovered. They would have found a treatment or there would be some kind of miracle to save her life. But it was what it was and Peter with his powers couldn’t save her, Tony with his money couldn’t heal her, no Avenger, no Guardian or Wizard had the ability to keep her alive.

She had declined to go to the hospital when her symptoms started to get worse. “If I have to die, I’d like to go at home in peace. “

Everything was far from peaceful though. The nurse was there almost constantly, a home health agency had sent her out but she was a nice lady. She was an older woman with bright dyed red hair that she always wore in a bun. She must have been at least sixty but she always stayed awake the whole night until another nurse would come and take the morning shift.

She always tried to reassure Peter that everything would be okay or if he needed anything he could ask her. He had spent enough time with her to know her name but it had slipped him once again. Cathy was it?

Tony was there too. He’d stay late on nights when May was having a hard time or when Peter was struggling. He’d even spent the night on the sofa once or twice just because Peter didn’t want him to leave. It would be May in her bed, Peter in his, Tony knocked out on the sofa, and Cathy sitting up diligently in May’s room on the large recliner or quietly finishing up a load of their laundry for them.

The man had promised to watch over Beatrice for Peter when he just couldn’t get to the tower. He couldn’t bring himself to leave May’s side. But when Tony was there with them both he assured Peter that somebody was watching over his kitten. Even if that somebody was FRIDAY at times. But true to his word, she was never alone for more than a night.

It seemed like one week May could get out of bed and get herself dressed and the next she struggled to even roll over. One night though Peter knew it was bad, he knew because Cathy their overnight nurse had called Tony and asked him to come. Tony in return had called Happy and Pepper.

The rest of the Avengers were on standby but Tony had thought it would be better for everyone if they didn’t swarm the small apartment with Peter and his dying aunt inside all at once.

May wasn’t speaking much and she looked so different from a month or two ago. Her cheeks were hollow and she had lost so much weight. Her hair was once bright and vibrant was dull and thin. She was exhausted at all moments. She would smile and try to hold conversations with Peter but about fifteen minutes in she’d be falling back asleep.

She was dying, Peter knew it deep down even if he didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to acknowledge that this was the ending process of life but he knew it.

They were watching May’s vitals carefully but they had dipped low and Peter still felt the urge to do something about it. He wanted them to try to save her but...it wasn’t about being saved anymore. The couldn’t and to prolong her life just because Peter didn’t want to be without her seemed selfish even to him.

He’d crawled into her bed with her and laid down. He had one hand holding tightly to hers while he watched her flutter in and out of consciousness. He couldn’t stop the tears, they just kept coming and coming and no matter what they refused to slow.

“Peter, baby,” May whispered softly. “Don’t cry, it’s okay,” she said, taking her free hand and weakly putting it in Peter’s hair. “I know you’re upset but I want you to listen very carefully to what I’m saying.”

“Okay May,” Peter said softly, laying his head on the pillow beside her. He wanted to beg her to stay but he knew she couldn’t. No matter had bad she wanted to May couldn’t stay with Peter for as long as the teen wanted.

“Just because I die doesn’t mean you should stop living. I love you and you’ll always have me in here,” she mumbled, reaching down to point at Peter’s chest. “I’m always here.” She said again, her voice trailing off. “And I love you and that will never change.”

Peter sniffles miserably but nodded trying to keep himself from sobbing all over again. “I love you too May.”

“When we die...I don’t think that’s the end. I don’t believe existence stops,” May said, her voice still weak and slow. “One day we’ll be together again and until then I’m never as far as you think I am. Remember,” May said smiling the best she could. “Right here,” she mumbled, this time putting her hand over peter’s heart. “You’ve made me so proud.”

“May…” Peter started choking on his own tears again. He wanted to beg her to stop. To stop saying all of those things that meant the end. They were words that were too final for him to hear.

“It’s true,” she said again. She did her best to pull the blankets up around the boy before putting her hand back into his hair. “And you’ll keep making me proud. I know you will. I love you, so much…” She said her voice slurring again and letting Peter know that she was about to fall back asleep.

“Good night May, I love you too.” He said, gritting his teeth before silently letting himself fall apart all over again as she slept on.

May didn’t wake back up after that. Instead she slept for another few hours before her labored breathing stopped and her heart beat one final time. Peter felt numb while Tony rushed in, the nurse closely behind him as the heart monitor beeped loud and steady unlike her heart.

“May no no no no,” Peter said shaking his head and holding tightly to the woman. She was still warm, she could still come back. He held her tightly but she didn’t move once and as the minutes passed Peter had to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t going to.

Cathy the nurse got on the phone to call the hospital, they needed someone to come and pronounce her death. while Pepper started on her own series of phone calls. Even Happy was on the phone. But Tony was sitting right there with Peter. The boy had managed to pull himself away from May but instantly he was wrapped around Tony instead. They left May in her bedroom while Tony lead Peter to his room for the privacy of it.

Peter didn’t know how much time had passed. It felt like minutes but he knew it had to be hours. People had come into the he house and then they had left. He heard voices but he hadn’t listened to any of them. Instead he sat with Tony on his bed crying, transfixed on the sound of his heart. A beating heart. May’s didn’t beat anymore but Tony’s did. Even after it had gone through everything it had. From Palladium poisoning to shrapnel to the arc reactor. It beat.

“Pete,” Tony finally said. “The funeral home is here, they need to take May. Do you want to see her one more time?”

“No,” Peter whispered. It hurt more than he could ever describe but he knew they had said all they needed to. He had told her he loved her and maybe, hopefully, that was all she needed to hear. Because that had been all Peter needed to hear in return.

**

Tony stayed with him in his bedroom while the medical unit came and picked her up. Happy and Pepper returned to the tower to get things ready and Cathy had cleaned up the apartment for the very last time. She said a quick goodbye to Tony and Peter before leaving her card on the table and heading out.

Tony was quick to shut May’s bedroom door. The bedroom itself looked so full and normal, like she might come back at any moment. It bothered Tony and he was sure it would bother Peter too.

He helped the grief stricken teen into some pajamas before getting back into his bed. It would be the last night he spent in that bedroom. Tony knew Peter knew that. Tomorrow everything would change but for a couple hours Peter could sleep in his bed and pretend that it was all just a bad dream.

As soon as Peter was asleep, the tear streaks on his cheek were finally dry, and he looked to be as comfortable as he could be, Tony got up. May had left him instructions on what to do and he was going to follow them to the T.

For a while longer he had to ignore the way his own eyes stung. There were family heirlooms to be packed away, personal bank accounts to be tended to, and a few more loose ends that needed to be tied up. Tony would have to wait before he could let himself cry.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys!! It's finally finished <3 Thank you so much for all the support and love over the last couple of months, it's been an experience! I'm so glad you guys liked it so much and I promise that I'll be replying to comments all this week! 
> 
> Sorry that this took so long to get out but I kinda didn't want it to end either! Anyway I hope you enjoy! Also every 11 chapters has somebody drinking coffee, it's a fun fact.

“How is he doing?” Clint asked as he joined Tony in the kitchen. The archer wore a look of tired concern and Tony could empathize with him. He’d managed to keep the team away until after the funeral but they were adamant about being close. Tony imagined he should be grateful but gratitude was the last thing on his mind.

Clint seemed to be one of the main people behind the driving force. They had respected Peter’s privacy as much as they could but after nearly two weeks Tony knew he couldn’t keep them at distance forever. With Peter’s approval, he opened the tower back up to them.

“I’m getting worried,” Tony mumbled as he stared into his black bitter coffee like it might have an answer for him. “He’s not functioning. He won’t willingly eat, he hardly leaves his room, I don’t know when the last time he’s talked to anyone besides me is. Even then all he does is mumble.”

“Poor kid,” Clint said and Tony could only nod in return. The whole tower had a different atmosphere about it. “Maybe now that we’re here he’ll start to come around a little bit.”

“Are you saying you’re better for him than I am?” Tony asked with a scowl on his face. “Because I’d think very carefully about how you proceed with that sentence.” Instantly Clint shook his head and threw his hands up in defense.

“No! No, no, I should have rephrased that,” the man sighed. “What I mean is...the quite might be getting to him, you know? I know you’re doing all you can for him but maybe it’s good for him to have sound and life. You know?”

“Hardly,” Tony mumbled, his scowl turning into a look of skepticism. “I don’t think loud evidence that you bunch are back is going to ease his grieving process.”

“Maybe not,” Clint said softly. “But if he knows that there are people here for him it might remind him that he’s not alone.”

“I can’t tell if you’re still trying to insult me or not. I’m with him 24/7 I sit in his room with him, I get him to eat sandwiches, I force him into the shower. I’m here with him, he’s not alone. He’s got me, he’s never alone and he never will be.”

“Shit I really messed up this conversation,” Clint said as he ran a hand down his face. “Normalcy that’s the word I’m looking for. He needs to know that everything is normal outside of his room. Even if May is gone it’s as normal as it can get. The new normal.”

“I just want my kid to eat and to not look like a walking zombie.” Tony said after a moment. “You’re just invested in the kid because you love all kids.”

Clint rolled his eyes but finally settled on a halfhearted shrug. So Tony had caught him, he had a soft spot for kids of all ages. Peter reminded him so much of his oldest son. They were almost the same age and Clint was guilty of putting his son in Peter’s place over and over again.

“What about the cat you go him?” Clint asked.

“She sleeps with him, they pretty much stick to each other like glue. But that doesn’t mean it’s better you know?”

“Everything he’s doing right now is expected, it’s part of the stages of grief. We can’t just assume he’s going to be better in a couple days, it takes time.”

Tony knew that more than anyone. He wouldn’t rush Peter to feel better but it scared him when the teen wouldn’t even look at his food or get up for more than a couple minutes at a time. Not to mention the reports he was getting from FRIDAY about the crying. She'd told Tony that Peter cried nearly every night. Finally Tony had instructed the AI to wake him when it happened, not just to alert him in the morning.

“There are no more blood relatives, I’m not his biological anything. I’m starting to wonder if that scares him,” Tony sighed. “What if he’s scared I’m going to just up and leave him too or something?”

“May wasn’t blood either though,” Clint pointed with a perplexed look on his face. “What makes you any different than her?”

“It’s different,” he insisted. “May got Peter when he was only six, she pretty much raised him with Ben.” Tony wasn’t exactly family but he wanted to believe that Pete trusted him. He wanted to think that Peter knew Tony would always be there.

“Sort of,” Clint started. “But Pete knows you, he knows you aren’t going to leave him or change your mind. I think he’s just a scared fifteen year old boy that lost the closest thing he had to a mother.”

Tony stayed silent for a long few seconds before he turned again to look at the anchor standing in his kitchen. For once he didn’t look at Clint like the super spy he was or the Avenger with years of practiced skill. Instead he looked at him like a parent, a father.

“What am I going to do?” Tony asked quietly. “I don’t know what to do, there is no book about this. And the person who did try to make a book died a little over two weeks ago.”

“Hey, Tones it’s going to okay,” Cling said trying to reassure the man who looked close to a breakdown. “He’s got you and there’s always Sam. He’s got a degree in psychology, a licensed counselor, he can help too. He knows everything about depression, anxiety, PTSD, he could probably talk to Pete.”

“I don’t know if Peter would even be okay with it,” the man sighed. “You know...I’m so out of my element. Saving the world? No big deal. Helping a teenager successful heal from the biggest loss I can think of? Yeah, who am I kidding. I’ve got nothing here.”

“You’ve got all of us, Tony.” Clint said just as serious. “You’ve got a whole team of people behind you, you know this. Steve? The kid already loves him to death. You’ve got Bruce, a damn doctor. Sam, a professional in psychiatrics practically, Thor, a God who owns a fucking a planet pretty much, not to mention Rhodes, Nat, Vision, Wanda who all love the kid just as much,” Clint said.

He held up a hand to stop Tony when he opened his mouth to interrupt him. “Happy and Pepper who know just how to keep everything running smoothly and of course me. I’ve got years on you when it comes to fatherhood and I like to consider myself a bit of a professional in that field.”

“Alright, alright I get it,” Tony said fighting off his own smile. “I’ve got a team of people.” Sometimes it just frightened him. He cared so much about one kid and he’d do anything for him. Anything to keep him safe and happy.

“You really love him don’t you?” Clint said, giving his own smile.

Tony’s demeanor changed once again, another serious expression made its way onto his face. “I use to sit there and think about being who I was. All the labels everyone always seemed to put on me and the one I put on myself. ‘Ironman’ and what it all meant. I would think about everyone I was willing to die for. Pepper, Rhodes, Happy, my team if it came to it. Humanity itself.”

Clint listened intently as Tony spoke, wondering just where the man was headed with all of this.

“I’ve been willing to die for countless people before. But when I look at Peter I think about how he’s someone I’m willing to live for. I’m ready to get up for the rest of my life and live for him. He might not be mine biologically but he’s still mine and he’ll be the reason why I get out of bed every morning, why I try not to get myself killed, why I need to be better. I love him more than anyone or anything.”

Clint stared at Tony before finally nodded. “Well, it shows.” The man replied with a much softer look. “Look, we’re all okay right now. Nothing threatening the planet, no team conflict, go be with the kid and I’ll hold the fort down. He needs you.”

“Yeah, it’s about time to try to convince him eat three bites out of a sandwich,” Tony said with a small sigh. But they would get there, they had come this far, had been through everything, Tony knew they’d get through this too. He had no plans of ever giving up.

**  
The days passed slowly but quickly at the same time. One minute he was there talking to May and the next the moment she had been gone for three weeks and he didn’t know what he’d done in that time span. He’d stared at the ceiling most days and think about if it was more than just ‘Parker Luck’ that took everyone from him.

Beatrice would sit nestled by his side for hours on end but eventually she’d get bored and wonder off. Peter couldn’t blame her, he felt like a terrible pet parent. She was just a kitten, she wanted to play but Peter couldn’t play. It felt like he couldn’t play or eat or get out of bed. Sometimes it didn’t even feel like he could breathe.

Even though he didn’t leave his room much he made FRIDAY tell him where Tony was every couple of hours. The universe had taken two sets of parents from him and there was a fear that maybe Tony would be stolen from him too. Peter couldn’t lose him, he was all the teen had left.

Still the days didn’t come any easier. Nights were hard too, he’d wake up in a panic, terrified even but he couldn’t for the life of him remember his dream. His heart would race and Beatrice would jump out bed because of his wild frantic movements. Or they would come softly, like real dreams.

Those dreams were of his apartment. He’d dream of May and the smell of her perfume, he’d dream of how her hair would fall in his face when she’d hug him. He even dreamt of eating slightly burnt meatloaf and loving it. He knew that if May was there he’d never complain about another thing she cooked. Not ever. Those dreams were warm like sunshine and he could almost live a lifetime in those short dream moments.

But then he’d wake up. His small apartment bedroom would be a thing in the past and he’d be greeted with the sight of a room full of technology with floor to ceiling windows. FRIDAY would greet him briefly and Peter would remember that it was all just a dream. There was no May, no apartment, no burnt meatloaf and there never would be again.

That was when he’d cry the most because May had been so close. He could have sworn she was right there but every night she was ripped away again. The AI always wanted to know if Peter wanted to alert Mr. Stark of his ‘emotionally compromised state’ but Peter always declined.

That night was no different. However it wasn’t the soft dreams that had woken him, it was the frantic fearful empty ones. This time something different happened, instead of staying in bed and letting his tears overcome him Peter got up. He didn’t know why but he didn’t want to be in his room just to cry. He’d done that for the last couple of weeks. He was getting tired of it.

Without thinking he left his bedroom and went down the hall, then he went down a second hall and a third until he got to the elevator. Peter went down two floors before he let himself off. He’d went straight to the workshop. He had no way of knowing that Tony was there. The only thing that had indicted he was right was a hunch.

About 6 months after Peter had met Tony was when he’d started to gain access to the restricted areas of the tower. Surprisingly enough the first place Tony had ever granted Peter unlimited access to was the penthouse, Tony’s personal living space.

After that he was allowed to visit the SI labs were employees worked. Then he was allowed to visit Tony’s lab where the man usually worked alone, or with Bruce if he was around. But the last area Peter got full unrestricted access to was Tony’s workshop. It was one of the more private places in the tower. It was kind of like the penthouse or the training facility, or even medical. But it was different...it was tony’s workshop. Where suits of iron were created and AI’s and robots were born.

So of course when Peter pressed his finger print to the scanner, the door opened and he was allowed inside.

“Kid?” Tony asked, his voice cracking as he spun around in his chair. “You scared the hell out of me,” he mumbled before quickly running a hand over his eyes.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked as a look of worry washed over him. Peter was no longer concerned about just himself. “Are you okay, what’s wrong?”

Tony looked tired but that wasn’t what got Peter the most. Both his nose and eyes were slightly red. He looked flustered too, like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Nothing’s wrong, Pete. And it’s Tony, remember?” The man mumbled, sniffling uneasily.

“Tony? Are you crying?” Peter asked softly.

The man opened his mouth to speak but he quickly closed it, like he’d just suddenly changed his mind about what he wanted to say. At first Peter thought he was going to deny it, to tell him no or to tell him to get back to bed. But it didn’t happen. Instead the other’s shoulders sagged some and he sighed.

“Yeah, a bit Kiddo. I’ll be alright though.” Tony insisted but Peter quickly hurried the rest of there way to the man. “Pete really I’m okay.”

“Why are you crying? Was it...did I do something wrong? I know I don’t-” Peter scrambled for words as his eyes went wide. Had he done something wrong? Had he frustrated Tony to the point of tears? “I know I haven’t been great lately, I don’t get out of bed and I don’t listen when you tell me to eat but I can try harder...did I do something to make you cry?”

“What, no, kid...Peter listen, you haven’t done anything wrong. You don’t need to try harder to do anything. I was just missing May, that’s all.”

“What?” Peter asked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You miss May too?”

“Of course, she was a great lady. I didn’t know her like you did but I liked her.”

Peter felt like he was in awe. First he had caught Tony Stark, the Tony Stark crying, and the next the man had openly confessed to it.

What he didn’t know was how critical Tony felt like the moment was. He couldn’t lie about feeling any kind of emotion because he did. Peter had already witnessed that. Tony knew he couldn’t teach Peter to be cold and within drawn emotionally, it was okay to cry. May would want Peter to know that. And Tony wanted him to know that too.

He’d break Howard's cycle of teaching boys how to bury their feelings. Tony would make sure that Peter knew it was okay to be sad, to cry in front of him, to be upset.

“She was really great,” Peter said softly with a short nod. “I miss her a lot, I’m worried I’ll forget her sometimes.”

Tony blinked roughly a couple more times before he felt composed enough to have a conversation. “Pete, you aren’t going to forget. I promise. You can always talk to me about her.”

“Yeah?” Peter asked, finally taking the seat next to Tony. “The only other person who really knew her was Ned. Or you know just the people she kind of talked to once in a while. We didn’t really have anybody else. There hasn’t been anyone to share a lot of memories with.”

“I didn’t know her for long but I’m really glad I got to meet her. She was something else huh? She loved you to bits but he was a no nonsense kind of lady too,” Tony hummed.

“Yeah, she was. I remember this one time Ned and I snuck into this R rated movie. May dropped us off, we told her we were going to see some Disney film, anyway we walked in with a big crowd of people, it’s amazing we didn’t get caught, I don’t know how she found out,” Peter said with a small laugh. “It was the most brutal movie of the year, some kind of horror movie. Guns, blood, and bad words...the whole thing. But the next thing I know I hear May yelling my name, so did the packed auditorium. May was marching into the theater with like three ushers, she was yelling at everyone. I actually think the theater had to refund everyone’s ticket for the interruption.”

Peter was laughing and Tony finally felt a sense of lightness he hadn’t felt in days. It felt good to see his kid smile. He laughed with the teen and threw an arm around him in response.

They stayed up for the next three hours like that. Tony listening to the best May stories Peter had. Listening to him laugh, holding him tight when he teared up, and helping him to bed when he finally wore out.

It was around four when Tony finally had FRIDAY turn off Peter’s light. He stood in the doorway though for a little bit longer, just lingering as Peter fell asleep.

**

The days went by and things slowly got better. Not all at once and not overnight but they eased themselves into something new. But not unwelcome. Tony had almost forgotten he’d told the AI to alert him when Peter had a nightmare. Peter hadn’t had one since the night in workshop together and Tony hadn’t thought much of it.

Once again the team had found their way back to the tower. Tony had been promising to bring Peter around to the compound once he was feeling up to it, they were getting closer but the man just hadn’t thought they were there yet.

So naturally the team had brought themselves over. Sam and Clint, Tony expect to show up randomly, he was still a little surprised to see Steve and Natasha following in right behind them.

“You guys just missed the kid,” Tony said shaking his head. “He was trying to catch up on some homework today, as soon as he finished his English essay he was out like a light.

“Understandable, English puts me to sleep too,” Clint said, flopping down on the sofa. “We do come to see you too though, you know that right?”

“How thoughtful,” Tony dead panned before pointing towards the clock. “It’s nearly 10, shouldn’t you be in bed or something?”

“Seeing as how we knew you’d be awake?” Sam asked, taking his place next to Clint. “Unlikely, besides only Grandpa over here goes to sleep that early.”

Steve frowned but otherwise ignored the comment. “We should have called but FRIDAY at the compound said you were still awake and we wanted to check on you, see if you need anything.”

“We thought about bringing a casserole or something but we figured pizza was good enough,” Clint added as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. “We knew you wouldn’t mind.”

“Feet off my table, Barton. And actually I do mind, I’ve got the Spiderling here with his super hearing. I’d actually like for him to get some sleep tonight,” Tony huffed, knowing though that the chance they would wake him up from the living room was slim. He may or may not know the exact range of Peter’s hearing. “And I don’t see any pizza.”

“Should be here in a couple minutes. We ordered it, had them put it on your tab,” Natasha said as she too found her own spot in the living room.

“You guys invited yourselves over and what? Decided to have a pizza party, just like that?” Tony asked with a frown. He was trying hard to keep up the charades that he minded but he had a feeling they knew him all too well.

“You act like you’re surprised,” Sam added, urging Steve to sit down too. At least captain America looked a little more conflicted.

“Tony we can leave if you want, we really should have asked first. We shouldn’t have’ assumed you’d be fine with it. We just thought Peter would be up and it would be a chance to have dinner together.”

“Did you order a supreme pizza?” Tony finally asked lightly.

“Of course,” Steve said with a smile.

“Then you can stay.”

The group put on a movie and Tony got the pizza at the lobby when it was delivered. The five of them settled in nicely, even without the addition of a few missing Avengers. They use to do it all the time before things went south. They would get food and watch something ridiculous on television and banter with each other.

Once again Tony got the feeling of warmth and familiarity by being with the group. In a way it was like things hadn’t changed at all. Even if they had drifted and fought, they had found their way back together again.

He looked around at the small group and willed himself not to smile. Just like with Peter they had found a place in his heart and even when he made attempts to disprove he had any such thing, they never failed to make him feel like he belonged somewhere.

The movie had only been playing for around twenty minutes when FRIDAY’s voice filled the tower’s living room. “Sir, due to the ‘Night Light’ protocol, I’ve been required to inform you Peter is having a nightmare. While he is not yet awake, I predict he is coming out of REM sleep as we speak.”

“Night Light protocol?” Sam asked, his mouth falling open while Tony set his plate down on the coffee table.

“Keep watching, I’ll catch up with you,” Tony mumbled as he hauled himself off the sofa. “Kid needs me.”

“What a dad,” Clint called out teasingly while Steve quietly reprimanded them, which only lead to Sam and Clint laughing even more.

Tony ignored the three and instead focused on getting to Peter’s room. The living room wasn't exactly close to the bedrooms but thankfully it wasn’t too far off either. Three halls and a quick left and he was there.

Quietly Tony walked into the teen’s room, his eyes zooming in on the bed. FRIDAY had taken it upon herself to turn on an actual night and Tony couldn’t help but be grateful. She got smarter everyday, especially when It came to Peter.

Tony’s heart ached at the sight of the teen sitting up in bed, looking shaken and afraid. But also sad and confused as well. Tony watched as he blinked a couple times, trying to bring his vision back into focus, Tony could see him actively trying to clear his dreams from reality.

Next to him sat Beatrice looking as wide awake as ever. She walked around the bed a bit before settling back down. Tony had to admit she was starting to go him. That and he’d always like the idea of cats. More importantly though she made Peter happy...or as happy as the kid could in a time like that.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked when he finally looked over in the man’s direction. “I...what are you doing here?” Peter asked, his voice horse and breaking slightly. Like he’d planned on letting himself cry but Tony had interrupted him.

“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony said gently before stepping into the he room and making a beeline for the bed. “I was just coming to check on you,” Tony said, not exactly filling Peter in on FRIDAY’s new set of instructions. “My own spidey sense told me something was wrong. And it’s Tony, remember?”

“You don’t have Spidey senses, Tony” Peter said after a moment, like he’d needed a moment to really think about if Tony had or not.

“Irrelevant, you were having a bad dream?” Tony asked, already knowing the answer. Without waiting for a response Tony let himself sit down on the bed next to the other before wrapping a protective arm around him. Instantly Peter was melting into his side.

A few nights ago Peter had come to him but Tony had no problem coming to his kid instead.

“Sort of. Sometimes I get them,” Peter mumbled while Tony moved his free hand to card it gently through Peter's messy hair. In return the teen buried his face against Tony’s chest, trying to hide almost. Tony felt himself melt that much more.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, holding his kid just a little tighter as he made himself comfortable on the bed.

Peter shrugged but he didn’t give the man a direct answer. Not for a few seconds. But eventually he sighed and glanced up at Tony. “I have dreams were people are angry at me. Because I can never save them. Even people that are still here...I dream about trying to save them but I can’t,” Peter confessed, his voice cracking again.

“Hey, hey,” Tony hummed. “It’s okay, their just dreams, Pete. Nobody is angry at you. Nobody blames you for anything and I’m right here. You aren’t going to lose anyone.” Tony said. Peter sniffed lightly before shifting so he could wrap his arms around the mechanics middle. He tucked himself further into the he man before going on.

“They’re so vivid that when I first wake up I can’t tell if it’s real or not. I get scared. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ll lose you too. Even though I miss May and Ben, you’re all I have left. I can’t lose you too,” Peter said his voice breaking again and the tears started to run down his cheeks.

“Pete,” Tony said softy, throwing his legs up onto the bed and allowing Peter to properly cling to him without any restrictions. And Peter did hold on, tightly like at any minute his terrible dreams would become reality. “I’m not leaving you, nothing bad is going to happen to me, okay? These dreams are only just dreams. Your parents and Ben and May, the aren’t angry.They would never blame you for what happened or accuse you of not being able to save them,” he said before brushing away Peter’s tears.

“Promise?” Peter asked after a few hesitant seconds. “Because sometimes it feels like it’s all my fault. Like I’m the reason they’re gone and maybe they would have been better off if-”

Tony quickly cut him off. He wouldn’t listen to the rest of that sentence.

“Peter listen to me, I know this was all unplanned but you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Tony said, tilting Peter’s chin up so that the boy would look him in the eyes. “I didn’t know I wanted a kid until you came along. There you were web slinging right into my heart,” Tony said with a smile, making Peter laugh as well but even in the dimly lit room he could see the teen’s blush. “I promise you, both your parents and May and Ben felt the same. They adored you, you made them so happy, you made them a family. You were the best parts about their life too. Never ever think that they would have been better off without you, because that’s just not true.”

Peter rested his head against Tony’s chest again but he nodded slowly in agreement. “Thanks Tony, for coming to check on me and everything. I love you,” Peter whispered. It was only the second time he’d said but Tony had long since decided that he was going to keep track of every single time.

“I love you too kid, now, we’ve got some guest in the living room. They’re watching my television and they’ve forced me to buy them pizza. You’re more than welcome to come sit with us. But if you want we can stay up here and take a rain check.”

“The Avengers are here?” Peter asked, already knowing who the guest were.

“Well, four out of a handful. They wanted to have dinner with you but apparently they don’t have clocks at the compound. You wanna come watch a movie? We don’t have to though, it’s up to you,” Tony said softly, still holding onto his son.

His son.

Slowly but surely Peter nodded, another smile making its way onto his face. “Yeah I wanna come watch the movie.”

That was how Tony found himself leading the kid down to the living room where the group of four were still waiting. They all greeted Peter with ease but Tony could see the soft worry in their eyes. They did a good job of not showing it though.

Peter smiled back and said his usual hellos. There was a tired look about him though, like he’d been emotionally drained. He too did a good job of keeping that more to himself. Tony could see right through him.

Peter and Tony found themselves squished between Steve and Clint while Natasha and Sam headed over the second sofa. Pepper had hated the idea of having two sofas but Tony was so glad he’d done it now.

“Star Wars?” Peter asked with slight awe as he looked at the flat screen. “That’s what you guys are watching?”

Tony knew that wasn’t the movie that had been on when he’d left. This time he kept his smile inward along with the feeling of gratefulness for the group. He was sure they all got the message though.

“Hell yeah, we love Star Wars,” Sam spoke up before grabbing the remote and hitting play. “We just started kid, you aren’t missing much. We’ve got the pet robot getting you a plate of pizza too.”

“Dum-E? Oh lord stay put kid I better go help,” Tony said jumping up and rushing into the kitchen while the others laughed.

For the first time in a long time Peter felt at home.

**  
Before the movie had even ended Peter had fell asleep against Tony’s side. Quietly that night the four left, not without thanking Tony though and smiling fondly at the sleeping teen on the way out. Once again it was just Peter and his kid.

That was all the man really needed after all. Still it was nice to have the Avengers back. Peter had unknowingly kind of made them a family again too.

Tony had opted on letting Peter rest while he straightened up the living room. He was incredibly proud of the fact that he had managed to untangle himself from the kid without waking him. It seemed like that would soon become one of his most used skills.

While he grabbed paper plates off the coffee table he noticed. A notebook. He felt his throat tighten some but he silently grabbed it and looked it over. It had been May’s notebook. She had given it back to him a few weeks before he passed.

Tony decided that the paper plates could wait and instead sat down on the empty sofa with the book. He hadn’t ever read the last page. But he hoped she wouldn’t be too mad, things had been crazy those last two weeks with planning the funeral, trying to keep Peter stable, working on the transition from apartment to tower, and everything else.

He sighed softly, he wasn’t ready to read the last page yet because he didn't want May to be gone. He wasn’t ready for the last bit of advice she could ever give him. But when he glanced over at the peaceful boy on the sofa he knew he had to.

_I bet you didn’t think you’d ever get to the last page huh? It kind of was like a novel wasn’t it? Even though, if I really tried I bet I could fill up five more of these. I know you know it’s getting close. Not to the end, but to my end. You story with Peter is just beginning._

_And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous. But more than anything Tony I’m relieved and I’m grateful. And you might not believe me but I’ve managed to find a sense of peace because of you._

_I don’t know what I’d do if it weren’t for you. I mean it, so this is my thank you. Just in case I haven’t said it or you didn’t hear it. I’m leaving because I have to but I get to leave him with someone who loves him and someone who cares. That means more than I could ever put into words._

_I know this hasn’t been easy and I know there are still hard times to come. But please don’t forget that there are incredible times on their way too for you and him. People say that children are a gift, I didn’t believe that until we got Pete._

_Everyday is a gift with him, the sound of his laughter, the way I love to hear him unlock the door at 3:00 everyday after school, the way he looks with bed head in the morning, how he he’ll hug you and you think for a second that he’s never going to let go. And how you sort of never want him to._

_I wrote a lot down in this book, probably more than you ever thought you’d needed to know. What to do when he brings his first girlfriend to dinner, what to do if that girlfriend is a boyfriend, what to do when prom comes around, or when that boy or girl breaks his heart._

_I told you what to say when he misses me, or when he cries, or when he’s having a breakdown over finals because he so sure he needs to ace everything. Or when he has a bad night on patrol or when he just needs you to be there to fix everything._

_Because he’ll need that too. Some of his problems are going to be so simple and he’ll make the biggest deal out of them. But he’ll be amazed when you actually can fix it._

_And then there will be some problems that are so complicated that you won’t even have the first idea on how to solve them._

_I tried to cover as much as I could Tony, but you have to understand I’m sure something is going to come up and you’ll have no answers. But I’ve got plenty of faith in you. You’ll figure those problems out too._

_When I first told you that I had cancer and I needed you to take him, you looked at me and you told me you had no clue how to be a parent. I’ll let you in on a secret though. Ben and I had no idea what to do either. But we learned and we loved and cherished every moment._

_The years are going to go by a lot faster now Tony, try your hardest to commit everything to memory and do your best to slow the time down as much as possible. Remember, everyday is a gift. Even the hard ones._

_If I could have only given you one word of advice though, this would have been the one. What I’m about to tell you is the most important part of it all. So tape this to your bathroom mirror if you need to. Just don’t forget._

_This isn’t always going to be easy, you already know that. And I know you know that kids need more than food and shelter and clothes and an education. Although all things are very important! The most crucial thing is that as long as you love him, it will work out. Above everything, children need to be loved and cared for._

_You’ll make mistakes and you’ll get into fights and you’ll think that it’s all going downhill so fast, but I promise you anything can be fixed as long as you love him. Do your best, do what you think is best for him, and love him more than anything and you’ll be the parent he needs._

_And when you think you’re crashing and burning and that you’re the worst parent in the world. Like when you forget to send him to school with lunch (hey it happens) or when you forget which movie he said he was going to or with what friend, remember that Peter already loves you more than you know and he’s ready to forgive whatever mistake you might have made, in fact there is a good chance he didn’t even notice the mistake. He’s going to accept all the love he gets from you and in return he’s going to give it all back to you. Even when he’s slamming doors and telling you off._

_In short, love him and you’re already doing a good job. You know that he’s destined for amazing things. I can’t be there to witness it but you will be, all it takes is love and some gentle but firm guidance to get him there._

_Things are going to work out just fine, you’ll see. You might ask why I’m so confident but I know you already love him more than anything. That’s how I know things are going to be okay._

Tony closed his eyes for a moment and willed the tears away. When he opened them again he looked over at the still sleeping boy. He counted each slow steady breath and swore again not only to himself but to May that he’d protect Peter with everything he had and he’d love him until the end of time.

He could never take May’s place but he was going to fill in the best he could. 


End file.
